Posted: 16/06/2010 at 14:48
I haven't been on here since my daughter was newborn however, I feel you guys will be the only people who can understand my situation properly and hopefully give me a little advice?
My daughter is three in October and for the past year now my husband has been talking babies non stop. He is desperate for another child but I don't feel ready. My biggest problem is childcare issues. I do not want to stop working however, we will have to pay for two children to attend childcare for at least a year which makes it pointless for me to work. Also, my mother in law currently looks after our daughter one day a week and has done since I went back to work when she was 3 months old. The only thing is it has been the worst mistake of my life letting her have her. It has caused the biggest fights ever in the family. She just won't listen to us when we tell her what we want for our daughter. For example, we won't let her have sweets and nearly every week we either find a lolly in her pushchair or a bag of sweets in her coat pocket. We only allow her to have an hour's sleep in the day now that she is two but she'll walk her around her village in the morning and she'll sleep then she'll sleep in the afternoon again. She also changes her clothes every time I drop her off. Is it me or is she saying my clothes aren't good enough for her? My husband is by my side with the problems but we are banging our head against a brick wall and the moment we say thats enough your not having her anymore it'll be world war three because my husband and I run a business that his father also works at so you can imagine the tension and family uproar we will get.
Every week I dread taking her there. It breaks my heart to do something I don't want when she is our daughter however, on the other hand I think should I be grateful for the free childcare and my daughter loves being there I just don't like the deceipt we get from her every single week.
I have spoken with my husband regarding another child but I have told him that I would not allow his mother to look after it on a regular basis and I would not want to stop work but all I get back is I can't tell my mother that and how can we afford two lots of childcare.
I don't know what to do for the better. I am starting to feel I would like another child but I need these ground rules to be adhered to first.
Am I being selfish to my husband and should I just stop being so picky or am I right to demand the upbringing I want for my children after all it is my turn to be a mother now and she has had her chance?
Please help. Thank you.