Smoking with baby in car?

Personally I think it is really awful to smoke around children. I mum smoked through all 3 of her pregnancies, my brother was very premature ( she refuses to admit this could have been through smoking) and I was plagued by ear infections and chest infections. I remember her smoking in the car with all the windows up, and everywhere in the house. She says she didnt know the dangers...however, interestingly she didnt even question about quitting when at 2 years of age i walked into her cigarette and burnt a blister and sore onto my lips.
Howver, she has now quite recently, at the age of 50 because it gives her a bad chest. So she did it for herself but not for her kids.

This is a major thing that I resent my mum for as I always thought if she couldnt give up for us then she must love herself more. So, I smoked when a teenager but quickly stopped. I never want that guilt over my head.

son about to be expelled from nursery........21 months old!!

Er not sure about the biting back thing...could make everything lots worse and the op may be reluctant to do that to her child.
The nursery unfortunately is within their rights as they are loosing business over this. I am a childminder and I think that if you could find an understanding and patient experienced childminder in the area - you may be able to get some more help as the care is usually more one to one. This means that in a smaller group the triggers for the biting, pinching etc will be noticed more easily and consequences can be put in place much quicker. An experienced childminder will have seen lots of this behaviour and have some good pointers usually.
I wouldn't not hesitate to offer a place for your son on a trial basis so I am sure someone else would. Don't give up - it will stop but you just need to find the right person to give him the support he needs - which will be getting tough!! Hope that helps a little.

Childminder worries

Oh my goodness - this is not a Child Protection Issue. The woman gave notice because she no longer wanted to care for the little one. This at worst is a difference in expectations of behaviour and discipline. She should have discussed the reasons in more detail with the op but she in no way should be reported for it. I have no doubt in my mind that Childminders and nurseries all struggle with the behaviour of some children and although they should work with parents more closely THEY DONT HAVE TO and if they want to give notice they can. Surely ending the contract is best for everyone all round.

To report her is ludicrous, it would cause absolute devastation for the woman and so much stress. I know if someone reported me for child protection issues I would be so distraught I wouldn't want to work again. Besides, as many people have pointed out - the Op is fairly certain her lo is not badly behaved which makes me think the childminder is just trying to think of an excuse to free up a place or cut down her hours. Professional or not - this does not constitute a Child Protection Issue.

Childminder worries

I am sorry that you have had this experience with a childminder but I do agree that it is well possible that your minder is making different excuses in order to free up a place.
I am a childminder also and I cannot imagine that I would terminate a contract on the information you have said has been given to you.
However, the notice is 4 weeks on both sides and that needs to be paid for. Afterall, your childminder may not want to continue that care for your child but that does not mean she is not providing a good standard of care up until the end of the contract. It may just be that she does not want to continue. She is perfectly within her rights to terminate care and give you notice for WHATEVER REASON which you should pay - afterall there would be no point in agreeing a notice period. Childminders can, and do take parents to court for unpaid fees and more often than not - they win. This is partly what childminders pay their insurance for so that legal costs are already covered. It is very unfair to report her because she has given notice - she hasn't actually compromised your child's care as far as you know.
From a parents point of view I too would not want to leave my child if I wasn't certain she wanted them there - but I would pay the fees and find somewhere else and put it down to experience. Most childminders would not treat you like this and are fantastic carers and professionals.

Really need your help girls!!!!

done

Does anyone NOT get along/ see their parents?

Thank you for your pov's! Yes the falling out is very bad because she was very disrespectful to my brothers wife and children (they do not yet know what was said) but I felt that if she could speak of my brothers children as she did then she could treat my children the same, if that makes sense. So I do not think we will see them again because there is no apology at all. I feel I am doing this to protect my children but do not want to make bad feeling and put her grandparents down to them. I feel so guilty for them because they will not understand. I am out of answers other than telling my dd that they have moved abroad?? x

Does anyone NOT get along/ see their parents?

Well, I have had a major falling out with my parents over alot of things that happened when I was a child and now my mum stirring up all sorts of trouble with my brother ( he isnt aware of it), so I came to the conclusion that I no longer wanted to see them and told them so. I feel like an alien....everyone talks of their parents..what they are doing for xmas....when they babysit etc. How does everyone else get through it?
Also, I havent said anything to my 5 yr old dd as in her mind they are brilliant and she loves them. I have no idea what to tell her. I will not tarnish them to her but I need to think of an explanation why we wont be seeing them again.

Thanks everyone xxx

Gutted

Hey ladies - I am a childminder and I can guarantee that nothing makes them happier than seeing their mummies - even if they pretend not to notice. My children all run in away from their mums in the morning barely looking back and we have great time together! However, I never get the same laughs and smiles that they share with their mummies. Believe me you have nothing to worry about!!! x

[Modified by: em29 on November 15, 2010 04:47 PM]

Very sad news...

I remember when Dylansmummy posted about making her memory box. I cried then and wondered how anyone could find the strength to say goodbye to their baby. I still do not know. I am in tears for a person I did not know because I know she didn't deserve this to happen. I could feel the love she had for her baby in her posts and I cannot imagine what she went through. A brave lady that will make us all think twice about how lucky we are. A very special lady.Goodnight Dylansmummy. I am certain you will be remembered forever in Dylan's heart. xxx

Penegan Syrup

Hi - I do remember a 'friend' of mine getting it prescribed for her 3 year old son when he wasn't sleeping well but I was prescribed it to help my 2 year old on a long haul flight. However, I would never give it without prescription...cannot imagine what trouble you could get into if your baby suffered from side effects from regular use.
I KNOW how you feel - my daughter woke every hour for over a year and it took me months to get her to sleep for longer than 3-4 hours. But I really do not think medication is the long term answer.
What's his sleep pattern like - what does he do when he wakes? What do you do when he wakes?

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