Hi everyone. I hope you're all having a nice Monday. Mondays are poo I think.

Anyway I digress. My question is, how can I MAKE time for relaxing and de-stressing? I know its a silly question but I just don't know how all you multi-tasking ladies manage it. I feel like my balls are just not staying up in the air at the moment.

We've been TTC for a few months- just starting month 11. My bloods are fine. DH's SA is good. Anyway the next port of call is that dye test but in all honesty I am wondering how much my lifestyle is interfering with our plans because:

1 I am very stressed and obsessed by TTC
2 I am stressed at work (by a huge workload)
3 We are doing a lot of home improvements- the house is a building site and I cannot relax anywhere at all
4 My hubby is doing DIY till late most nights so I am doing everything that needs doing in the house

Basically I wake up exhausted most days.I am out of the house at some time between 7:15 and 8. I get back home at about 6. That's when I cook the dinner. We eat at about 7 then clean up the kitchen. At about 8 I do more school work- or if there is none that's pressing do a job in the house/ shop/ wash. I finish about 10 when I have a bath and fall asleep. I'm permanently tired and I never feel relaxed. I need to exercise but can't fir it in.

Can you ladies tell me how you do it all please? xXX

yep its tough. I find some months easier than others. last cycle was extremely difficult. hubby and i both work 40+ hours a week, work is stressful, often doing different shifts our 8ds needs picking up from clubs, homework etc.
somedays it feels like you never relax, it can easily be 10pm before we sit down. i just think sometimes you have to prioritse.. the world wont end if you dont do washing etc one eve.

Not helpful at all I know but perhaps you really do need a change? A change of job, lifestyle etc etc. It'll be really hard but just think about what's more important and how much can you sacrifice.

It's a tough one but good luck xxx

Muppet is right hun something needs to change. I was exactly the same as you super stressed about work, ttc, hubbys work, my dogs etc etc. I was consently tired, stressed, me and hubby argued sooo much on verge of splitting up sometimes it was that bad. Because i became obsessed with ttc, it was always in my mind, working full time, juggling everything else walking my dogs atleast twice a day and hubby is away alot as he is in the forces, so iv got all that going on!!! I just had to change something so i spoke to work about reducing my hours and they were amazing!!! I now work part time and this is only my second week working part time but i feel a million times better!! My hubby noticed a different as little as the second day!!!

I now wish id done something about it a long time ago.

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Hi hun! I kinda know how you feel as everything you've described, except for the house buildy stuff, is the same as me! It can be so hard and feels like I never get a break. Since ttc I would feel a lot more on edge however the last month I have relaxed a bit (I'm on month 7, literally waiting for af!)

Lately I've been looking online for days out or a nice meal somewhere or booking a couple of days off work and that way I have something to look forward to.

Eventually I'd like to do like FAYE1983 and work part time but it's not an option at the moment for us. One day though!

This website has helped loads as although none of my friends/family know we're ttc, I feel like I get support from the ladies on here. I am sure that getting it off your chest and knowing you're not on your own will help! xxx

I think prioritising may be a good option like Andi says. I get annoyed though with mes. I'm way too highly strung. The mess is annoying me right now but I am trying to ignore it and do some relaxing. I'd love to work part time and I will once I have a baby but we can't afford it at the moment because of what I'd lose in maternity pay etc. I totally agree that this website is a huge help xXx

Emmie - are you a teacher?

I am indeed

Hi Emmie,

I have only just noticed this thread. I totally emphathise with your life!!!

You could have been describing my life up until three months ago. I forget who said it but they were spot on - something's gotta give. I can't tell you what that is, but what I think you're saying is that your life has too many things in it. You sound very organised, so maybe that it isn't the problem - there's just too many things going on and it wouldn't matter if you were the most organised person in the world, it would still be too much. Is there anything you could 'not do'?
When we both worked I 'outsourced' everything I could afford to. I had a cleaner every week, I got our shopping delivered, I took clothes to the drycleaners for ironing rather than do it myself, if there were things around the house that needed doing I hired someone to do it for me. Just to 'make' as much time as possible.
On the stress/exhaustion front: I would make sure I did 'me' things such as taking baths, reading nice books, going for massages/facials when I had time. Just making sure I took care of myself and did things that made me feel good, rather than things I 'had' to do.
Ultimately for me this wasn't enough, and we changed with Mr P getting a less stressful job and me actually leaving mine to pursue a different avenue. Things got a lot better. I am murderous this evening but that is down to building work but when that isn't happening I am much more Zen.
You don't have to go 'Nuclear' like we did but you could try some 'outsourcing' and 'me' time and see how that goes.
Sometimes it's not organisation, it's change. I don't want to tell you what to do, that's not what you need at all. But I do firmly believe that our society is very focussed on 'doing' as a route to happiness/contentment rather than 'being'. I think you need some 'being' time.

Hope that some of it helps but feel free to ignore it if you think it's rubbish.

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I am also a teacher, primary. I used to work the sort of hours that you do but when I burnt out and took 5 months paid leave I realised enough is enough. I adopted a variety of strategies to keep the work load down and the stress out. Taking my marking to a coffee shop was a winner. No interruptions, a relaxing environment (crucially not home) and I found that a pile of marking was done in a fraction of the time. Whilst on the summer break it may really be worth looking at your work patterns and seeing what can be cut down. I work 8-5 now and it is far more manageable. I work through lunch and try to keep the chat after school to a minimum. sorry if I'm stating the obvious. Teaching is stressful enough, add in TTC, house stuff and it is a recipe for exhaustion. Teaching emotionally can really take it out of you. hope I've been helpfulish.