Upset about Speaking! - Toddler

natjt

06/01/2009 at 05:12

Hi there

Little while since I have been on but hope you are all ok?

My LO is 20 months and is speaking much - odd words, lots of babbling and my ever helpful (not) mother thinks he has some problems - e.g. autism! She thinks that he doesn't engage and doesn't make eye contact, this from the woman who lives 5 miles away and last took him for a walk 10 months ago!

He is a very happy little boy, he can feed himself, paint, draws, builds with lego, loves other kids etc.

My sister has already commented on his lack of speech so I took him to see a therapist who just said he was a little behind and to keep up the work we do with him!

I am just gutted to think there might be something wrong with him and they are all talking about me behind my back - can anyone help?

Thanks.

Natx

Beebee

06/01/2009 at 05:22

my son is 20 months soon & also talks loads but doesn't make any sense. He seems to say whole sentences but in his own language. I put this down to being a bi-lingual family & am not bothered at all.

My main worry would be if he didn't actually understand words, like no & come here, but he does.

Does you lo respond to you talking, does he stop when you say know or at least acknowledge that you have said no or come here (often they like to ignore you at this age )

TBH if he has seen health & speech professionals then I am pretty sure they would have picked up on any key indicators of autism etc but if you are worried, ask your gp to refer you. Either way it will settle it once & for all.

But tbh, why not tell your mum that she couldn't possibly know if he has developmental issues as she doesn't spend nearly enough time with him to know

Won't achieve anything but will make you feel better, trust me

natjt

06/01/2009 at 05:29

thank you!

yes, he understands no, says hi, bye bye, night night, tells me when he has had a poo but unlike his cousins who are on the gifted list he isn't conversing at the speed they were!

we are going to see another doctor on friday just for a 2nd opinion but thank you and yes I may just tell her that too x

Beebee

06/01/2009 at 05:39

Gifted list, lol, yeah likely, Just ignore them hun, he sounds like he is progressing just fine.

linzimc88

06/01/2009 at 05:53

hi hun, i wouldn't be concerned at all! a mate of mine has a little boy coming upto two years now, and he didn't talk at all until about 18-19months, when all of a sudden he learned lots of words all at once!

Another friend of mine has a 2 and a bit year old who says very very little, i was convinced he was autistic as he has no attention span, won't play with anybody, plays "deaf" never responds to his name or anything anybody says to him, no eye contact... pretty much every symptom of autism, but my mate saught advice from the HV who said "oh he's just a little bit behind, he'll catch up".... so... i wouldnt worry!

Sounds as though he's progressing fine for his age, ignore you mum and sister honey!

natjt

06/01/2009 at 05:56

thank you, I think you actually start talking yourself into them having something when people keep going on about it and of course the more I try to get him to speak the more he just won't!!

Beebee

06/01/2009 at 06:32

oh tell me about it,;last week Sonny said "chair", clear as day when I pointed & said chair, will he do it again? Not a chance. he knows its a chair, he knows how to say chair but choses in the way only a toddler can to ignroe me every time I try to get him to say it.

Drives me mental.

waiting4baby Platinum member

06/01/2009 at 09:45

Hi, Oh dear people can certainly be good at worrying you for no reason, every child develops differently and if the professionals think he's fine, and you think he's fine (mothers tend to just 'know') then he probably is. My brother didn't walk til 2 and talk til 3 , nothing wrong with him just he was born lazy

natjt

06/01/2009 at 10:00

yes, people seem to have an opinion about it all when it comes to children don't they!!

MLT

06/01/2009 at 17:32

Hi
This is reassuring! Matthew is 20.5m and doesn't say much either. I checked with HV and she said as long as he can do some imaginative play, understands nstructions (he understands v well) and is babbling and has a few words then not to worry. So, according to that he is fine. I know what you mean tho, you can start to convince yourself that something is wrong. I find myself asking people if they think he's ok.
Natjt - your LO sounds fine to me and if the therapist is happy then I'm sure it's ok. Your family don't sound so helpful LOL!!!
I keep trying to get Matthew to say the odd word. Like you Beebee, he might say it once but will he say it again? No. The other day i nearly fell off my chair when he said water,clear as, well, water!! But he later aid it like gawta, then it's deteriorated to gada like most other things! I think he's a bit lazy and also stuck in his own little language. It's frustrating but you just have to keep going with talkign to them etc etc. I find it hard tho when all his friends are talking and the other mums tell me funny things that theirs are saying. I can only boast that Matthew seems to have the ability to eat as much as a 5 year-old!!!
Keep going people, and do let me know if anyone's LO has a speech break-through!!
Juliette :\)

-kia-

06/01/2009 at 18:05

Sounds pretty normal to me tbh. I used to take my eldest godson out from 18 months old and I think he was 3 before I could ever get more than a couple of words from him! more recently though, my friends little boy is 2 1/2 now and at around 18-24 months he didn't say much at all - just the odd word or two and its only really been in the last 3-4 months that he's started to string proper sentances together.

Tbh I'd also be tempted to say something to your mum - how can she know anything about him if she hasn't seen him for months!

Good luck with the docs, hope they can reassure you

campbellly Platinum member

06/01/2009 at 18:39

Hi there. I work as an Speech and language therapist and I'm pretty sure that if the therapist you saw thinks that he is just delayed then you don't need to worry about anything more serious. Since communication problems is a key feature of autistic spectrum disorder we are trained to pick up on the early warning signs. Although we would never diagnose in isolation, if the therapist had any concerns in this area she would have referred your son to a paediatrician or specialist team.

If your son enjoys social interaction, uses pointing to indicate that he wants you to look at something (as opposed to wanting something), and is finding alternative ways to communicate apart from speech, these are good signs. Warning signs might be an absence of pointing, repetitive play/behaviours, and a lack of interest in communicating for 'fun' (again, as opposed to only communicating when he wants something).

I always think mums have a sixth sense for these matters and if you feel he is doing okay, and the professionals have no worries then he's probably fine. X

hayley_l

07/01/2009 at 09:45

I wouldnt worry too much, they are all different. Isaac is nearly 21 months and he says a few words and babbles alot but doesnt say alot that makes much sense. He can make himself understood and understands instructions, his sister by contrast was putting 2-3 words together by the time she was about 13 months old. If you have seen the hv and speech therapist and they are not worried then I wouldnt worry either. People always have to say something to make themselves feel better and make you feel worse.

no3bump

07/01/2009 at 10:19

I wouldnt worry hun, my nephew hardly spoke till he was 2 and now he is 2 1/2 and never shuts up! he understood everything butnever spoke. he sounds like he is doing fine and i wouldnt worry about what your mum says cause you know your son best and as long as your happy with his progress thats all that matters. xxx

EnglebertW_nkface Platinum member

07/01/2009 at 10:31

Millie is nearly 2 1/2 now and although she never shuts up she is still mostly talking rubbish! I can understand her but as far as most people are concerned she is still just babbaling. I'm not worried as she understands absolutely every word we say to her and is using her own words for things she can't say. Your lo will get there in his own time.
xx

Benjismummy Platinum member

07/01/2009 at 16:18

Hi Benjamin is 17mths and as been saying the same few words over and over again for quite some time its only really now that hes started to say new words..still no mummy though!sob!
He is never quiet forever babbling away in his own language lol.I agree with everyone else and try not to worry

natjt

07/01/2009 at 16:39

thsnk you everyone, I feel so much better to know you guys are going through similar things and that whilst he doesn't have 250 words and perfect sentances, in his own way he is progressing and making sense.

our appointment is on friday and I will let you know how we go

thanks again xxx

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