Sorry in advance if this turns out to be a long and depressing post-i'm feeling very low today and just needed to get things off my chest.
I woke up on wednesday morning and started bleeding heavily (16+5). I phoned the hospital and was told to go straight in which we did. The bleeding had slowed down by the time we got to the hospital but i was suffering from stomach and back cramps and i was quickly seen by a midwife and then examined by a dr. The dr couldn't see a reason for the bleeding but mentioned that my cervix didn't look normal and said that this could be due to it not healing properly when i had an erosion and pre cancerous cells removed a few years ago (i was told that this isn't what caused the bleeding though). I was told that i needed to be kept in for obsevation for 24 hours and was moved to a ward. The staff were lovely and listened to babys heartbeat which was fine (such a relief) but no one could say why i was bleeding. I didn't get much sleep because i was so scared that i was going to lose my baby. The next day my stomach and back were still cramping but the bleeding had stopped and it was now just old blood clearing out. The dr said that the pain was due to the bleed irritating my uterus and she said it should ease in 3-4 days. I was told to rest and was sent home.
Hubby has been brilliant and is really looking after me and i have been getting lots of rest but emotionally i am really struggling to cope. I completly broke down on thursday night and got so upset that i had to rush to the toilet to be sick. I was crying so hard that i couldn't speak and it took my hubby, my mum and my sister to calm me down. I feel like a nervous wreck all of the time and i'm just waiting for something else to happen. I am terrified that i am going to lose my baby. I can't even go into the spare room where we've stored the stuff we've bought for the baby because i'm convinced i will never get to hold my baby. I just feel so negative. I know that getting this worked up is no good for me or the baby but i just cant snap out of it. I have suffered from depression and anxiety in the past and don't want this to return and up until now i was doing really well and enjoying my pregnancy. I know i should feel reassured that babys heartbeat was fine and i should relax and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy but i can't. I just don't know how i will cope if anything happens to my baby.

Nicole
xx17+1xx

oh honey!!

you must have been awfully shocked the other day with everything that went on!!

firstly, it is quite normal to be so frightened that you will not get to hold your baby - your pregnancy has been threatened, and you have no idea what will happen!

secondly - in an attempt to reassure you, many women bleed exactly the same way you have described, yet go on to have a perfectly healthy baby without any other problems. there is also a large percentage of women who have frequent bleeding whilst pregnant, no cause is ever found, and again, go on to have a beautiful healthy baby.

try not to let it get to you, as pregnancy is supposed to be a time where you can be excited, preparing everything, choosing prams etc

hopefully, once you have your 20 week scan, you may be able to relax a bit

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

having lost a baby myself during the second trimester I do understand why you would worry about a bleed like that. I really do say wrap yourself in cotton wool until the baby's due date. After loosing my baby I can never really enjoy being pregnant because I feel like my baby just isn't safe in there but I got through. Try to saty positive but be causious as long as there is no more bleeding it should be ok. I do understand and there are many others on here who do and if the worst does happen we are here for you. Keep the thread updated if you like and I will watch out for your posts if you want to talk. I have the worry of first trimester bleeding at the moment and having someone having the same worries as I would be nice to talk to. Maybe we can keep each other calm.