Hello
Well my husband has decided he has had enough of this life and is leaving! And to top it all he blaims me. Let me tell you what has been going on and see how it looks to you guys...

He works away for 2 months at a time then usually home for a month, but sometimes has to go back early. He left when lo was 3 weeks old and came back when he was 3 months. It has been the hardest year ever for me learning about a baby and bringing him up to a gorgeous healthy 1 year old now. I absolutely adore him and we have a very close bond. Everytime oh comes home it takes a week usually for lo to get used to him and oh has a problem with how clingy he is to me at these times.

He was back 2 days this week and then on the third day said we were finished because I make him feel like a spare part, he doesnt get a look in, doesnt bascially get the same attention he used to and well...the big thing is sex. He said we used to rip each others clothes off 24/7 and now if we dont have it for 1 day, he is in a huge sulk the next day and until we do it again! Bare in mind we still have it 6 days out of 7 but because it is not as adventurous as it once was and I dont have quite the same enthusiasm, well thats the end of the world and basically the demise of our marriage! The more I think about it and write it down, the more annoyed I am. I cant believe he is so selfish and is giving up his family for the sake of a bit of sex and attention on him! He cant handle the change and says I love lo too much and am too obsessed by him. He seems to forget we have had to get on with things alone and I have subconsciously perhaps made up for 2 parents...oh dear...crime of the century...surely its better that I have showered him with love in the absence of his daddy.

He has gone away for the weekend now to see a friend. I feel ok and this has made me see him for his true colours now. I also think hang on, I should be leaving you not this way round. I have never pressured him into giving up his work away and just got on with things as best I can. And this is the thanks I get! He also does very little with lo...I think when he gets in the door he should be wanting to do everything with lo but no. He thinks it is 'wierd' to bath his own baby may I add!

He also said I will be really nice and chatty with him and give him a cuddle then might not again for 4 hours! Can you believe he is counting?! Excuse me for looking after, feeding, changing etc lo.

I have made an effort by agreeing to go to a hotel for the night with him but that was supposed to be last night and well, we never even got there. I didnt want to as find it hard to leave lo, but still do when he is home as know some time is important. But nothing was enough and he cant take the change.
So thats it basically. I cant believe it really. I am so gutted that I had to find a guy who would end up like this ... I dont know whats going to happen from here but will keep you posted as will be a regular on this forum now for sure.

god he sounds like a prick he wants to grow up id of slapped him by now god i h8 men. they think the whole world revolves round them u r beta off without him hun he sounds like a child and hes jealouse of his own son omg wot r u doing with this freak lol u cud do so much beta i dont blame u 4 not wanting sex with him it wud b like wanting sex with a spoiled child tell him to do 1 hun hes a cock and u dont deserve tobe treated like this and dont worry its totally norm 4 them to blame u cos thats men all ova mine did it to me aswell dont let him blame u hun u no it ent u and so does he its a control thing with him all men love to be in control stand up to him hun xxxx

Thank you, I need to hear that. He has gone a step further today and after a weekend away still sticks to his story so no sensible thoughts have come his way. And now he wants to get me to agree all these suggestions about money, the house etc etc! Cant he giveme a minute to let all this sink in. There is no way I am going back. I am so upset at how he is being...cant believe it really, He is such a child. I am just so worried about the house etc as I am desperate not to lose it.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DONOT AGREE TO ANYTHING go and see legle advise asap hun hes trying to sting u 4 everything god wot a cunt be really carefull just dont agree to anything plz it will be the biggest mistake of your life and u will loose everything and if u agree u wont get help atall trust me from sum1 whos has been there this is y hes saying all this now cos u r to upset to think straight and hes useing it just like mines doing now they try to make u think to there way of thinking in other words give them there cake and eat it dont do it hun i made a big mistake the other day i let mine in just to test the water and give him a chance and now hew got wot he wanted i ent seen him 4 dust not 1 text and im 29 weeks pregnant with 3 other kids so it ent just me he has fucked up its my kids ive had to delete his number cos i was tormentin my self by texting tellin him how i loved him and cudnt live without him and he was just laughing in my face so getting rid of temptation was the best thing iv done 4 ages and i ent cryed atall today ive checked my phn thow alot but nuffin u need to cut ties with him hun other wise u will neva heal and u will go insain ive bin such a mess cos i love him so much but he was just useing me and iv learned the hard way dont learn like i did hun cos it bloody hurts i even showered in disinfectant last night cos i felt used and dirty and cheap just dnt text him and get ur locks changed u dont need him hun if i can manage with 3 and anuva on the way u can do it im sure and iv got no family or anything ive got m8s but they ent the same as haveing ure mom is it just cut ties he ent right 4 u hes exactly the same as my o/h and im so glad i neva put him on the rent book or on the car cos hed of took everything id of bin left homeless like yours is i will never trust another man again or have 1 live with me men can fuck off i hate them all tc hun dnt let him screw your head up he will try everything even he loves u will come dont listen cos that was the mistake i made by giveing in to him cos it hurts even more wen they shit on u again tc hun keep me pisted and try and be strong i no its hard but just try and keep busy if u can thats wot i do xxx

Hi Amoss,

I just wanted to say, I FEEL YOUR PAIN. I had exactly the same situation with my son's dad. He worked all the time as he has his own business. I spent all my time with my lo. When he'd see him for the first time in weeks or months I'd expect him to 'want' to feed him as he'd been missing him SO much. But nop "can I do it tomorrow...". It must be a man/woman thing because I cannot imagine being away from my baby for one day and the times that I have, I just wanted to get back to him as soon as possible.
Move on, and find someone that WANTS to spend time with you and your child, thats what I plan to do.
As for the sex, MEN..... Again I had the same problem, but its just an excuse to make it your fault.

GOD I H8 MEN sorry had toget that off my chest im haveing a cry at the mo cos im so fuckin angry at mine he has done a proper number on me im worse at night times i h8 them il be beta wen baby comes i think cos i wont have time to think about him then xxx

Big hugs to u all!
Im a single mum once again,since recently splitting from a guy i had been with since last summer,thought it was going well but seems he just doesnt want to commit,thing is im a mum and i need to take my child into consideration,i dont want men in and out of my life,or a casual thing,i want commitment.Now im planning on not settling for anything less,someone who wants me and my son and who will treat us both right!
I think Linzi~(over in baby forum)hit the nail on the head for your story Amoss,your oh needs to do some deep thinking and realise just what he is loseing,its a shame to many men out there throw it away so easily,and for stupid selfish reasons most of the time.I suppose it really is different for us mothers,the bond we feel is stronger and so natural i guess some men struggle with this,being big kids themselves they need and want all the attention lol!!
I dont know were you will go from here but protect yourself and dont let him bring you down too much.
Tinkerbell its hard when the feelings are still there and having a child creates a bond with that person that is hard to shift,evenings are difficult times i agree,i get very down and lonely.
Though its hard i think time helps and i believe nothing stays the same for ever(well i hope not)so i wish us all happiness and better luck x

Thank you all so much. It is really helpful reading these things. I am still in shock I think. I think back to our wedding not even 4 years ago and cant blieve he has changed so much. All because I dont give the same time and attention as before. I cant belive how childish he has become. He is a right mood stomping around and lo wants me all the time when he is around...I m not surprised! Anyway, he goes away again tomorrow for 10 weeks, so we will certainly have space and time to think etc. He seriously needs to grow up and think what he is missing out on! MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my bloke ent even text me i havent heard frm him since mon wen he left he left and i neva heard frm him again he got wot he wanted out of me then fucked off i so hurt i love him so much i cant help thinking where did it all go wrong im worse cos im pregnant with his baby im 29 weeks and he just dont care im just wondering if it will hit him wen i come to have her what do u girls think or do i just forget about him but its so hard hes has changed so much he ent the man i fell in love with his 28 and hanging round with 16 year old kids??? he chose that life over me and amy i just dont understand i must be a horrible person if he can just leave me 4 his m8s who r fuckin 16 is he sum sort of perv hangin round with ppl that age getting into allsorts prob shaggin everything in sight omg what have i dont its all such a mess iv been so stupid hes taken me 4 such an idiot and i let him xxx

Hey hun, I used to come on here before because i split from my partner when lo was 3 months old...he was basically messing around with women on facebook etc and as you know from baby forum, decided to give it another go but it all ended this wkend as he constantly lies and isnt mature enough to be in a relationship and have a child. He has never provided for my lo and chooses his mates and social life over us so i told him where to go!

I think your husband sounds very immature and basically is jealous of the baby, because your lo gets more then him. What does he expect if he works away and then doesnt bother to make an effort with you both when he gets back...god men!"

Tinkerbell i understand where you are coming from, my ex chose his mates and women over me and lo all the time and honestly...it wont change! He told me on god knows how many occasions he had changed etc but still same old immature boy that has to go town every weekend and get drunk and pull women!
I too dont no who he is anymore and isnt the man i fell in love with nearly 4 yrs ago. Its strange how men can be so irresponsible and immature, im sure one day they regret there decisions but im sure by then we all move on xx

god u sound like me leapea my oh isnt the man i fell 4 he has changed so much and all wrong now he wants to date me lol basicly have sex thn fuck off again lol. Dnt fink so i told him it isnt fair on the kids and amy wen shes born and not fair on me considering im going to have his baby in 5 weeks time.And not to mention that my kids r still haveing to go into foster care wen i have her ffs wot is he thinking he keeps on asking me 4 very rude photos of myself pmsl as if he is getting everyhting out of me i told him if he wants to be a dad that he shud start to act like it or basicly get lost as i deserve better he is allso makeing me feel guilty cos he hasnt got any money, lmao omg wot a knob ,how is it my fault that he wont get off his fat lazy arse and get a job the lazy shit ,he is just a total waster and hes cumming unstuck now and he called me selfish cos iv put my kids first instead of him basicly cos i told him that i wasnt prepared to b his toy wen he wanted as it wasnt fair on the kids and he said o so just cos it upsets the kids im finishing with him and i was selfish. lmao hes is so pathetick i fuckin hate him more thn i love him put it that way hes getting worse by the min. GOD I HATE MEN I AM OFFICIALLY A MAN HATER!