6 months pregnant, no savings, How will i afford it!???????

23/04/2009 at 08:34
HI,
Ok here goes. I have just found out Im 6 months pregnant, i know i know how did i not know? I feel stupid enough about that already!
The thing is the father and I only went out for about 6 weeks at the end of last year. And if i wasn't pregnant I would not have seen him again, he annoys the living daylights out of me! He seems pretty ok about it all. Thankfully! The problem comes in when i start to look at the costs of keeping this baby.
Let me give you a brief background, I work fulltime, don't earn a bad salary, just under ??30k. I live in a studio flat in London and truthfully don't overspend by any stretch but still don't have any spare cash, hence no savings!
It has all been a bit of a shock finding out that I'm pregnant and then to find out that I'm this far along has not made it any better. I am so not prepared for it. I will have to move out of my flat into a bigger place, which will obviously cost me more (i pay a very good rate at the moment). Looking at my budget and the cost of childcare I have no idea how the hell I am going to be able to afford to keep this child. I have worked out (as much as i can) the tax credits and working tax credits i will get but that will barely cover 50% of my yearly childcare, childcare works out to be about ??1000 per month, over half my salary. Plus at least ??700/ month on rent which leaves me with oh about ??3! That's no food, clothes, train fares etc.
I don't really want to give up work, but the other issue is that as Im in advertising the likely hood of having to stay late is very common. Most childcare ends at 6pm and I will never be able to make it in time, I very rarely leave the office before 6. I have at least 1hr 15 mins to and from work each day, about 3hrs all in all with delays etc.
How am I going to survive looking after my child and work and have any kind of life.
I have so many fears at this stage that my mind is in such turmoil I am feeling rather depressed.
My mum wants me to keep the baby but Im not sure she is seeing if from a practical side just an emotional side. I want the best for my child and I think my biggest fear is that I will not be able to provide it with the things it needs, be that money and love. If I am constantly stressed out because I cant provide for it how can that be good?
I know I will get child maintenance but unless he pays an exorbitant amount I will still not be able to afford it. Benefits included!
I know everyone says it works out in the end but how? Even just looking at my maternity pay after my 90% first 6 weeks I will not be able to afford my rent! As I said I have no savings, and even if I manage to save ??2500 in the next three months I will run out of money, then there is the option of going back to work early but as I said childcare is even more of a strain!
I suppose I just needed to rant a bit, and see what some of you other single mums think.
Should I keep it and struggle, knowing that I might ruin its life or give it up for adoption to parents that I know can love it AND provide it with all the things it deserves?
I know this is a super long post but hopefully you have made it this far and can offer some advice!
10/06/2009 at 08:47
hi when i found out i was pregnant i had nothing i wasnt working and i wasnt claiming benefits i didnt start getting benefits till later on in my pregnancy i thought the same how am i going to provide for my baby... the thing is your baby doesnt need the most expensive things in the world as long as your baby has your love it will be ok i now have a 3 week old baby girl and would not give her up for the world trust me you will find away of gettin through it if you want to you need to sit down and think hard could you really go through the labour and hand your baby over to sum 1 else???

hope it all works out for you... good luck and take care xx
20/06/2009 at 18:09
Hi. I too am a single mum to 3 children aged 10, 8 and nearly 8 months. I've been single now for nearly 8 years and my little one is the result of an on/off relationship with someone who doesn't want to know.

My answer to you is that if you want to manage you will. There is no need to have everything new, auction sites are a good start as are NCT sales (they hold them twice yearly where I live) and newspapers. A lot of the things you're told you 'must have' by the baby magazines aren't really necessary - ask all your friends who have children how many of them actually use the changing table they've bought!! ;o)

I know it probably all seems really overpowering right now but I'm sure when you've got your head round everything you'll come to the right decision for you.

If you decide you want to try and make it all work out childminders are well worth considering. They are usually much more flexible than nurseries and can be found through your local council website. I'm a nursing sister and so have a pretty heavy workload, my employers though have been great - I'm sure you could speak to them and see where you stand. If you have an Intranet with work (not sure how large the company you work for is) they should publish all their policies onto it for you to see.

I hope things are okay for you, if you want to chat I'm here (except when I'm not!)

Sam x
21/06/2009 at 11:24
thanks Kezzer90 and Samg, i have since got my head around the fact that I am about to be a mum, good thing as I've only got 3 weeks til my due date now!
Your replies have been great, things that i now feel since having written, things will be tough i know but it is amazing how many people have been supportive and the things that I have got, even from the CEO of my company, i even now have to turn things down as I have so many offers, two cots for instance!
It is going to be a long slog but i now feel that my son and I will be a ok!
Thanks again and I wish you both the best
Kerry xxx
22/06/2009 at 06:11
Ok, here's what I know;
-You can get a maternity grant (asked your midwife)
-You will get child benefit, working tax credit, housing benefit etc (talk to CAB)
-I'm sure theres a Surestart grant you may be entitled too
And there is help available for childcare too...
Hope it works out for you. Please enjoy being a mum, and try not to worry. I know it's easier said than done, but honestly, you WILL find a way... Promise! x

 

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev062pr___.png

Your say
email image