Hi all, hope you're all doing well?

I'm hoping for a bit of advice as I'm too scared to do a test as I don't want to see a BFN

I had a missed miscarriage which was detected on 2nd September during my first scan. My baby had no heartbeat stopped growing at 8w2d, i decided to go for an ERPC as I hated the thought of waiting for a natural miscarriage as I was in total denial so thought this would at least help me get closure and me and my husband move forward.

The bleeding from the ERPC was gone within about 1 day, I had bleeding straight after the operation and wore a pad for a few days but the day after that it was so minimal and 2 days after pretty much non existent.

The week following I had a light bleed for a few days (from the 14th Sept), I was told this was unlikely AF as it was only a week after the ERPC but I don't know what else it could have been.

I finally plucked up the courage on 24th Sept to do a test to check that my hormones were back to normal, I couldn't bear to see a positive test so left it til then and then realised I had to test just so I knew. It was a BFN

I've had the odd spotting episodes, ie tiny spots of brown, then Saturday morning I had EWCM with brown streaks in it, but only when I wiped and only a small amount, then nothing all day,I was convinced AF was coming (its been 4 weeks since my last bleed and was very irregular on the pill so don't really know my cycle) but as of today still nothing apart from again this morning a small amount of CM and brown streaks but this was only when I wiped and went a little bit internally to wipe (same for yesterday).

Its hard to say whether I have symptoms as I've had a cold since last Wednesday so have felt bunged up and tired anyway and have a headache today plus this morning I felt a bit nauseaus until I'd had a coffee - could be just tiredness and yesterday I felt nauseaus alot during the day until I'd eaten something (could be psychosematic knowing me :lol: ) and the other thing is my work trousers feel really tight around the waist, now I came back from a weeks holiday a week ago where I ate well, I wouldn't say excessively so it could be that but they felt tight last week on my first day back and they feel tighter today.

From a DTD point of view, we waited a week following the ERPC then used withdrawal for about 2 weeks then just before we went on holiday and all of the holiday we BD'd without withdrawal then this weekend we were using withdrawal again. We're kind of NTNP just from a financial point of view to ensure we're in a good place

I know i'm being silly and probably there is nothing going on as its too soon after my ERPC but i'm too scared to do a test to put my mind at ease as I don't want to see a negative and if i see a positive i'll be scared too as i worry what if the same happens again though would love a BFP

Sorry about the long post x