confused!

6 messages
05/11/2009 at 05:47
is this normal? i am ready for our 2nd, and we have talked about it, but the real problem is money and we are worried we just wont cope financially. i know that you do just make things work in the end, but every so often i just think it would be such a bad idea to fall pg now without a wodge of savings behind us. i am veering wildly between desperately wanting to fall pg and thinking it would be a very bad idea

i guess this means im not really ready yet we hadnt properly started trying yet, was just hoping for a happy accident (altho have been hoping for one of those ever since is had sam!)

has anyone else been feeling like this? if we waited for our savings to build up tho we would never have another!

rach x
05/11/2009 at 06:28
Hello there

We are trying for our first, so slightly different to you, but I can totally empathise with where you are coming from.

But, when exactly IS a good time to try for babies? If you look hard enough there are so many reasons to wait - the financial climate, swine flu, your career, not enough room in your house, not enough money in your savings account, living too far away from family, living too close to family.....the list is endless.

My opinion is - if you feel ready in your heart, then this is the right time to try for number two. So if you feel you are both ready, go for it!
05/11/2009 at 09:31
Hi Rach,

I know all too well what your talking about hun...I have been exactly the same. Except with us it's our 3rd child. We are ready too but we have talked and talked about it and I have gone from extreme broodiness to being too concerned to try about a hundred times!!! Now we have just decided to go for it because it is literally one of those things that you could talk round in circles forever because there isn't ever the 'right' time. I honestly believe it doesn't exsist.

As for money- I think it depends on your own situation. If you can manage I think that's all you can really ask for- you don't 'need' savings, although I'm sure it would be nice. My dd (2nd child) was a 'happy accident' and we coped- you just do.

xxxxx
05/11/2009 at 15:24
Hi ladies,

I am ttc our first and am sitting here knowing everything you say makes perfect sense.

This place reassures me every day so thank you all xx

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06/11/2009 at 12:05
Im sure you could cope just fine I have exactly the same worries about money, and have gotten to the point where I just done care.

I have also planned how to save money. I read the continuum concept and Three In A Bed, and have become obsessed with these ideas, for both the welfare of any future child but also mostly its so cost effective! Plan is to: Buy a couple of slings instead of pram/pushchair = saves hundreds. Buy reusable nappies and try out being nappy free = saves hundreds on disposables and potty training is alot earlier. Share a bed, no cot, only a bed to worry about when baby leaves nest in just a couple years = very bewildered MIL, but happy baby, nights where I can sleep and more savings. Baby Led Weaning, dont have to buy baby food in jars and dont need a highchair = saves even more!

Obviously not everything goes to plan in reality, but at least it makes me worry less about having no savings. Good luck, I hope it all comes together :\) And dont worry about money!
XX
10/11/2009 at 12:37
I'm in exactly the same boat.

We want to save for a house deposit but seem to have no money each month to save. We're renting, which I'm OK with, but it's only a 2 bed

Can't afford not to work. But can't afford childcare for 2 children.

But I really want to have another. If I wait 2years till he is in nursery we might be able to afford it but not sure I can wait that long......

So frustrating. I'm sooooo broody. S x
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