Anyone not got ANY form of routine yet?

17 messages

ruthiespoon Platinum member

01/12/2010 at 16:31

Hi! As the title says really. I am breast feeding, Ethan is 6+3 and I feel like I am constantly feeding (pretty much every 1.5 - 2 hours still) and we have absolutely no routine yet. And don't get me started on getting him into his crib at night! (This doesn't happen, he sleeps on me). Should we be being more strict, or will it all slot into place eventually?
Any experience/advice greatly appreciated x x

xxfairyxdustxx Platinum member

01/12/2010 at 16:52

No experience or advice as lo is only 4 weeks but nope! No routine at all, the thought of trying to put one in place is too much, I feel lucky if we make it through the day with each feed going ok! The house is a tip, she often falls asleep on the boob, that's the only way I can get her into her moses/crib, if she's totally sparko, sometimes she'll only sleep on someone, she feeds roughly every three hours but sometimes longer, sometimes shorter so I never know where I am with feeds. Often I'll have in bed with us as all I want is to sleeeeep and don't care one bit what I have to do to get her settled, not caring a bit if I'm making things difficult for myself later! Hope I don't live to regret it!

Edited to say i'm just too tired to think about whether I'm making it difficult for myself, not that I don't care!!! Am just going with whatever gets us through the day at the mo and hoping it will slot into place later!!

[Modified by: **fairy**dust** on December 01, 2010 09:17 PM]

Snugglenush Platinum member

01/12/2010 at 17:02

Hia
We are at 9 weeks now and Logan just sorta fell in to a routine around 6 weeks ish. I tried to put him into a routine at 4 weeks and it was worse lol!! He still falls asleep downstairs at night (he is next to me now in his chair) and I take him up when I go but he goes 4 - 5 hours at night and 3 horus in the day. Not got a daytime nap routien though - I just let him sleep when he wants!
I wouldn't worry about it too much just yet - routine will happen!

BryonyMcM

01/12/2010 at 17:50

Routine?? Whats that when its at home??

The house is a complete and utter tip but as long as Tyler's feeds are all made up and ready for him and im out of bed and dressed for Hubby coming home for his lunch im happy.....omg im a lazy cow lol

x-plumduff-x Platinum member

01/12/2010 at 17:56

Hi,
Dexter is 5 weeks and tonight is the first night we've started to do a bedtime routine: bath (or wash) bottle in his room and bed around 9. Fingers crossed it works! Apart from that we don't really have a routine at all, he normally goes between 2.5 - 3.5 hours between feeds night and day. The last couple of days he's not slept much during the day and got quite ratty and clingy but normally he's ok. Hoping he falls into a better patten soon!
Don't stress about routine too much though I think it stops you enjoying the time you have with your baby because you're so concerned with sticking to the routine. Plus you know that once you've got one in place they'll change it!

mrs-stb

01/12/2010 at 17:57

Don't worry about a routine hun, it will fall into place but still way too early. And then it will change anyway with jabs, growth spurts and teething getting in the way! My health visitor told me it's impossible to spoil a baby or get them into bad habits with too many hugs, them sleeping on you etc and not to be concerned about a lack of routine until at least 6 months, to just go with the flow. Just enjoy all the cuddles while your little man is little still and bugger everything else x

Claire-ski Platinum member

01/12/2010 at 19:09

Thank God other people with October babies don't have a routine either. My baby is just over 6 weeks old and we have no routine whatsoever with him coming to bed with us when we go to bed and feeding at random times - i.e. when he's hungry.

Have been reading on here about people putting routines into place and following 'expert' advice and was getting a bit alarmed, but we're not routine sort of people and barely seem to have enough hours in the day to achieve such simple tasks as getting some cooled boiled water at the correct temp put into his bottles.

Think this isn't due to lack of routine enforcement and more the fact that he's been quite sicky and not a happy bunny of late and therefore hasn't been sleeping as well as he was in both the day and night.

Hope that when he's feeling a bit happier (he was quite chilled the first 3-4 weeks) then we can try to at least get him bathed at the same-ish time each night to try to introduce a vague structure.

Hey, ho, it will get there.

mummaJ

02/12/2010 at 05:54

Just GC from BIA (DS now nearly 18weeks) but wanted to say to all you girls please do not worry about a routine. it seems there's so much pressure to be doing the 'right' thing but as long as you and your baby are happy then that is the right thing.
I would say having a bed time routine is a good place to start as it sets them up well for going down to bed when a bit older (and can be really enjoyable with bath/massage/story-whatever) but i wouldn't worry about the rest of the day, this will come in time.
To be honest routines can also be quite restrictive if you stick to them religously. Yes babies do seem to like some sort of pattern as they get older so they 'know' when it's feed time , nap time, bed time etc but many babies find this pattern, or fall into it all on their own.
I stressed so much about this routine thing and i think it did stop me enjoying my time with DS a bit as all i did was worry that he was sleeping when he was supposed to be eating, awake when he was supposed to be napping etc etc!
I would just go with the flow and take your babies cues and you will soon see a pattern emerge as they get older.
HTH

mummy_no_2 Platinum member

02/12/2010 at 07:09

I agree. We started putting Nyla to bed around our bedtime when we first got home from hosp and she gradually increased sleep time. Now its 7-8 hours so we've started putting her to bed earlier so we get a bit of time to ourselves. When she wakes up in morning she likes to have a feed then go back to sleep for a few hours then often have another feed and sleep for another few hours. She will then stay awake all afternoon and evening. We've tried putting her to bed and she sleeps for 10 mins then wakes up wanting to play or cuddles so we've just left it as she seems happy and is sleeping through night so not too worried. Our only routine really is to do things in the afternoon rather than the morning as she tends to sleep a lot then! Don't know if this is normal???

moominmama Platinum member

02/12/2010 at 08:36

So relieved to see that so many of us are going with the flow. Biba has her hours back to front and will usually be up until 2-3am and like you due she tends to sleep for most of the morning. The best we manage is that she has a long nap at some point in the morning and another long nap (2-3hours) in the afternoon then up all evening.

We get her to sleep in any way that week can, be it on the boob or walking around, plenty of people keep saying that we are making a rod for our own backs by not letting her self settle but at the moment out priority is getting some sleep and not getting her all stressed out.

She is 4 weeks today and will probably start thinking about a routine at 8 weeks. At the moment we sleep downstairs with her in her basket and me on the sofa as my husband has to get up for work at 5.30am so at least being downstairs he doesnt get disturbed, but cant wait to get my bed back when she does finally settle down.

jumpingzebra Platinum member

02/12/2010 at 09:27

Due, your so lucky that Nyla sleeps all night. My lo will only sleep 4 hrs the longest day or night. Cant wait to get more sleep.
We are trying to implement a bedtime routine bath,bottle and bed. It doesnt always work out quite the same every night tho. I'm in the spare room in the wk so hubby can get sleep love going in my own bed at wknds xx

junior j

02/12/2010 at 10:05

Tobey is 4 weeks+4 days, and its still really at his pace, feeds and sleeps when he wants,im not too worried about during the day, but its the night time that concerns me, he is normally a 3 hour sleeper at night, have had the odd 6 hours amazing but what stresses me is putting him down at night, at the moment the routine starts about 9pm as i can see him getting sleepy but the minute i get upstairs, feed and change him in the dark he is wide awake and wont settle in his basket, im normally there for the next 2 hours, trying to settle him, i try thr shush and patting, letting him cry for a wee bit to see if he falls asleep, he sucks his thumb for comfort but it normally ends in me putting him on the boob which i know is really naughty, guess we just have to keep at it, and one day it will work!

mrsmermaid Platinum member

02/12/2010 at 12:20

We have a routine at 5+5......

its dark = we go to bed,

its light = we get up.

Still haven't properly even mastered that one yet though!

ruthiespoon Platinum member

02/12/2010 at 14:34

Oh you're all ace and make me feel better! Plumduff, you're right, I'm just going to go with it and enjoy my beautiful boy instead of getting myself worried about a routine. Thank you everyone x x

scrummymummy10 Gold member

02/12/2010 at 15:14

Hope you don't mind me gatecrashing! My l/o is six months old now!! However the early days play on my mind a lot and i almost feel like I missed out, if that makes sense. I wanted to be a perfect mum so much so tried so hard to listen to everyone and do everything 'right'. There were days when i genuinly thought i was never going to get the hang of it and the mum that i thought i would be was dissapearing...all because i put to much pressure on myself. I wish i would have knew that i would find a routine that was right for ME and MY baby, and so what if i had to put him in his swingign chair one night to get him to sleep and he had more feeds than he should of had if he needed them and needed me to hold him and go up a thousand times to settle him. The books are fab, but only if you take from them what you need and nothing more. I wish i would have just taken things as they came and relaxed,...things were so hard and my l/o was very colicy and cried a lot so that made me feel even worse! Fast forward 6 months and i feel i am finally getting into the swing of things. We have an ace routine (even if i say so myself lol) he sleep through the night naps in his cot and is such a sociable and happy baby, i am very proud to have him he is such a star. If i could turn back time this is the advice i would give myself, lol

Debs x

junior j

03/12/2010 at 13:25

Ive just bought one of those toy thingy light mobiles that attach to the side of the cot that plays some lullabys, and projects some light onto the wall, lets hope that helps settle him.

moonandstars Platinum member

03/12/2010 at 13:48

The only thing I stuck to is our bedtime routine. I cluster feed at 6 and 8 bath in between those with a dreamfeed at 10 ish. However as Liv feeds between every 2 and 3 hours (bf) I don't think she recognises that I am cluster feeding her! But I think it's a nice routine so I'm sticking with it cos at some point she will understand the point if it! She wakes up in the night about 3 times to be fed and during the day although she feeds toughly every 2.5 hours but sometimes she will be hungry only an hour after she has fed.

Other than that I have no idea if we have a routine or not! I try to change her nappy before I feed her cos of her sickyness and although I try to put her in her cot for naps she often falls asleep on me. Generally if I have errands to do we do them in the morning and then have a quiet afternoon but them that is MY routine from before baby arrived.

It's really hard to try to just go with the flow cos of all the conflicting advice you get from books and "well meaning" relatives. It's really comforting to know that other October ladies are in the same boat as me xx