about potty training. :\? :cry:

i do not feel Chloe is any nearer to being ready to train. On sunday it was my lil bro's bday (he was 27 and i am nearly 30) and even mum commented for the 1st time 'you were trained well before your brother arrived' my b'day is exactly one month before chloe's. :roll:

Of course i know there is no rush, it just doesn't help that she is so big and strong for her age - she looks ridiculous in nappies and being changed in changing room etc. She's bigger than all the 3 yr olds and a lot of the 4yr olds at nursery and all her little friends their are now trained and almost all of them are at least 2mths younger. :\(

I know I am being silly but I just can't see her changing anytime soon - she's no different now to when she was 2 and we gave it a go. She's also getting to be a funny shape for nappies now and she's in size 6 - can't find any bigger than that! Having a mare with bottoms for her as well as most of her trousers are too small now but the next size up is stupidly big and too long but cos she still in nappies they just don't sit right.

But what can i do about it? NOTHING!!! If she asks to use the loo/potty then we let her but she never so much as does a drop of wee in it. I bought her a story book about potty training to help her and she gets upset when she gets to the page where the little girl in the book has an accident. Have explained that it is ok, doesn't matter etc etc but no difference. She hates being mucky, getting wet etc so that doesn't help. :roll:

I've been hoping she will suddenly show some magic sign that she is ready but nothing yet - am I wrong to expect that? Trouble is she is at nursery for most of the week, with mum on a monday and at the weekend we are usually out and about doing stuff so not at hope with her for any length of time so guess that doesn't help?! :\( :\?

Please give me a virtual slap ladies as I fear it is what i need!!

Lara xx

no slap from me im afraid lara, you get a hug instead!

i totaly understand how you feel so it wont make any difference telling you they ar alll different and she will do it in her own time blah blah blah.

My friend had issues like this with her little boy he wouldnt use the potty at all and wasnt trained until he was 3.5, but now at 4.5 he is totaly reliabley trained day and night and never has accidents, he is in the same palce other kids his age are he just took a little longer to get there.
she is now having the same from his little sister (freyas best friend) who was born in april 08. Like chloe she is very bright and very articulate but just has no interset in using the potty or toilet.

It cant be easy with you not being there all week, have you spoken to the nursery? could you ask them to get her to sit on the toilet at regular intervals? maybe try switching to pull ups full time but tell her they are knickers and encourage her to go tp the toilet at every opotunity but it wont matter if she has an accident in pull ups. Tried sticker charts or treats for using the potty, anything that will make her interested in using it. getting her to want to do it is half the battle.

sorry not much good advice, but dont stress your self out over it.

xx

No slaps from me either, I second Flickaty's hug!! Honestly, it's really not worth stressing over honey. J's first wee on the toilet was on his 3rd birthday. All totally instigated by him, he'd refused point blank when I'd tried previously to PT him. Are you off over Christmas? If you're looking for a time to try then that could work. I think getting nursery involved in regular loo trips is a great idea. Maybe taking her with you//hubby when you go would help and give yourselves a sticker when you've "been"!! Does she have a favourite dolly that might "need" a wee on Chloe's potty? E now refuses to wear nappies at night too and is doing pretty well but we have to get her fave teddy Eeyore to go on the loo every night before bed so that E copies him otherwise it generally ends in a 5am bed change!!
You've had a hell of a lot on recently so, and this is in no way a criticism, is it possible that you're over focussing on PT? Take a step back, deep breath and repeat after me~she'll do it when she's ready and everyone else can stick their opinions where the sun doesn't shine!!
Xxxxxx

OK I will slap you then... SLAP, SLAP, SLAP!!!!!

I will hug you now too....

Please don't stress. You have enough going on at the moment without stressing over this.

This is more or less my childrens time line

Lauren....dry daytime aged 20 months (shocking) and night time by 3

Chris ...dry day 3.6 and night at the same time

Joseph...dry day 2.6 dry night aged 4 (still had accidents till 6)

Charlie... Dry day time 3.10 and night at same time..NEVER had a single accident

Amelia..dry day 2.6 still has accidents and still wears a nappy at night.

So, you can see the variation just between siblings. The 'norm' is 2 to 4. Chloe is closer to 2 that 4 so therefore she is not too old to be in nappies at all.

I personally would pop on nappies (thin pull ups) till into the New year and then approach it again then. IF during Xmas you have sometime at home then give it a go. Have you read GINA FORD PT in a week? I hate the woman but she has some good ideas re PT...

D xxx

Hi hun,

thanks for the hugs!!! I have spoken to nursery at length about it and they are great. trouble is get so distressed and obsessed that she won't come away from it as gets paranoid type thing about leaving it, then gets confused and then distressed and upset.

As for pull ups, unfortunately she is too big for them now (size 6 is too small and they are the biggest i can find).

She has a reward chart and stickers etc but makes no difference!!

Thanks though hun!!

Lara xx

Hi, sorry delayed reply!!

I am off over xmas but have plans to be out and about so wouldn't want to start it unless I had a good few clear days. hubby just has too much family!!! Was planning on them coming to us if we had moved but we haven't and have no room for more than two guests!!

I do have that book dee but from my interpration of it she is ready but clearly isn;t when we try!! I'm just fed up of the disappointed looks and tones of voice when you say she isn't trained. I'm hoping to start swimming lessons in jan and not sure the swim nappies will fit by then!!!!

lara xxx

I know what you mean about looks and tones from others. I got this from Charlie. It drove me mad and really upset me. Even his teacher at nursery pissed me off by telling me he was the LAST to be trained. I just said... 'and????'

WHEN Charlie WAS ready he did it in a day and I can honestly say he had no accidents. He was dry at nght too...

It is frustrating I know. Just keep at it and she will do it.

What are you putting her on? Potty or Toilet? Did she chose the potty? or trainer seat? does she see you go to the loo? Is she scared? I tell you the most stupid of tips that worked with Charlie... I put his nappy inside the potty and he went immediatley. It seemed he did not like the noise of his wee on the water (he still hates noises now) maybe do that OR put loads of paper in the loo bowl so she does not have to hear her wee.. ?? coloured water in the loo (food colouring) singing daft songs, doing a daft dance and calling it the wee dance... anything like that might distract her enough to 'go'????

will get back to you if I think of anything else..

d xx

Hi hun, just thought i'd add a quick reply. Havent had time to red the others so might double up on whats been said. But I think its great you haven't pushed her to be potty trained. Erin unfortunately is a classic example of a child who was pushed into it too early. She has accidents every day without fail. She still poo's in her pull up before she gets up (hence y i didn't reply to the 'poo post!' lol), she does poo on the toilet sometimes but equally in her pants too. I feel its been too long to go back to nappies so i just keep on ignoring the accidents (and have taken out shares in Fariy powder !! ha ha) but seriously hats off to you to not caving to the pressure of others, i caved when erin was 2 !! Fearne will not be potty trained unitl she is good and ready even if she is 10 y/o :lol: .

Hugs

Love Mez x x

Hey Hon,

Following on from the others I wanna give you a big hug!
BUT also a tiny virtual slap too.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP STRESSING!!

You worry so much about silly things with Chloe you sometimes miss out on how clever & intelligent she is for her age. My friend is like this too, it's not a criticism so please don't take it as such it's just the way you are.

As Flick said every child is different & guidelines are only guidelines they aren't set in stone rules plus each child is an individual with different situations in their lives & different things in their wee heads.

In my opinion if Chloe were ready then she would be going for it. She doesn't seem ready in herself although she may be showing the signs but the fact that she is getting upset & not wanting to do it shows she obviously has a fear/mind block when it comes to it.

My suggestion is you stop trying, put the potty/toilet training seat away, ditch the pull ups & keep the nappies.

You are a strong woman & you know that what your doing for your daughter is the best so who gives a sh*t what other people say etc!

Ellie's nursery were a great help but even they commented it was taking her a while- i simply said i'd rather do it slowly & in stages than overnight & have her having accidents & setting herself back.

Basically what I did was put a pull up on at night, took it off in the morning & put her on the potty. Just before we left the house in the morning i'd put a pull up on her for going to nursery, then her pull up came off as soon as we got to nursery & they put her on the potty, At sleep time in nursery she was getting a pull up on then it came off again when she woke up & I just kept putting her on the potty every 15-30mins when we got home. She very soon got bored with me annoying her & was going herself in the potty.
Now she will have a pull up on when she goes to bed at night but what I do is put her on the loo before she goes to sleep so even if she does a little dribble shes still doing something,
She has now had times where she's been asleep for 2-3 hours with no pull up on & no accidents- this is because I put her on the loo or the potty about 319 times a day if we're heading out anywhere!!

Anyway hon sorry for such a long reply, I hope it helps a bit & PLEASE stop worrying. Your a great Mum, doing a fab job & you have a lot of stresses in your life which are never easy but don't let this be one of them because other people's opinions don't matter!
Good luck.
Lauren xox

Sending you a big hug too hun. Olivia was a bit like this for poos and still isn't great now. She knows she needs to go but will run around screaming and panicking because she doesn't want to go on the toilet. 75% of the time now she will go on the toilet but there is still about 25% where i have to put a nappy on her because she gets herself so distressed. I don't really have any advice, just to say that it is very much slow progress for us but that she is getting there and i'm sure Chloe will be the same. We never bothered with the potty for either of our girls - they went straight on the toilet (with one of those inserts). I also just want to add that there was never really much effort on our part once they were ready. I tried a couple of times when they clearly weren't, gave up and when they were ready, they got it instantly. I'm sure Chloe will be the same. Try not to stress hun - she will surprise you i'm sure xxx

Samuel still isn't PT either. Just thought it might make you feel better that you're not alone!

He isn't as big as Chloe but he hates being changed now. It's getting to be a joke. He runs away from me and just kicks like mad when I pin him down to be changed.

Whilst my problems are diff from yours, I am HATING having two in nappies at the moment. Nothing I can do about it though really.

I think Samuel will be good with wees when we start PT, but I'm dreading the poos as he's really against the idea of pooing outside of his nappy.

I'm going to attept PT - first effort - in Jan now when my hubby is off work.

Let's hope it clicks for both of our darlings soon x x x

Well I had hoped to try during the xmas break as we are both off with her but nope she is ill and it is not the right time. Nursery have said they will have a go in the new year.

Lara xx