I was thinking about when I had my daughter the other day, and things that happened that I hadn't been told about. Can anyone think if any? The two that jump into my mind are 1) internals are quite painful, and 2) after the birth they make you do a kind of sit up to check your stomach muscles x

I never had to do the sit up thing first time.

For me I was shocked when I went to the loo for the first time. They put a thing downthe loo cos they like to see how much is there and told me to go. I really didnt think I needed to but the second I bent over to pull my things down i was desperate, just made it to the loo and couldnt beleive how much wee/blood yuckyness came out. Icouldnt controll it at all and it scared me alot. It was only that first time but man I wish someone had warned me.

G/C but im a recent second time mummy. Here is what they don't tell you:

That about 4 months after birth, your hair starts falling out (I though I had developed alapecia, lol)

That you can bleed for up to 8 weeks.

That it does look like you are loosing a lot of blood, but dont worry, thats normal

That you may not have an instant bond with your baby, and thats normal too!!

That bf, as amazing as it is, requiers a great deal of practice (but worth it!)

That it is not the end of the world, and you are not a bad mummy if you choose to ff.

that your first proper period after you have stopped bleedin can be very heavy. Mine was that bad it really scared me, and I ended up at the docs.

And lastly, that it is perfectly acceptable to scream, swear, chant or humm your way through labour if you so wish! What ever gets you though it.

For all you first time mummies, you are in for the most amazing experience of your entire life. It is truely magical, becoming someones Mum. Enjoy every minuiet!

How much you bleed and just how much your boobs can leak once your milk comes in! Take double the amount of maternity pads and breast bada you youll need!

Also be prepare to wear a bra 24/7 for the first coup,e of months of bfing and prepare to smell of milk all the time. I hated tha and was obsessed with showering and specifically washing my boobs!!

Oooh also take big pants to hospital just in case you have a c section. Ditto for a nighties as well as pjs as if you have a section you won't be able to wear pj bottoms for 24 hours as you have a catheter in.

How little contact you have with HV etc once you're discharged from the mw. Drop in clinics seem to be being phased out everywhere

That it's not uncommon to vomit after every contraction!
When your milk "comes in", the let-down reflex can be quite uncomfortable (not to mention messy!!)
Finally, that it's ok to trust your instincts! Our DS would not leave our arms for the first 12 wks because he was too uncomfortable to sleep on his back due to wind and colic, but because of all the "information" we were given, we were petrified to put him down on his tummy. It was only when my GP talked sense to me that we gave it a go, and he slept through! So sometimes you need to trust your own instinct and ignore the guidelines, for your own sanity if nothing else.

Actually something along similar lines about co-sleeping. DD2 wouldn't sleep on her own for the first 6 weeks and I felt like such a bad mother for letting her sleep on me thinking she'd develop bad habits for life but by 8 weeks she was sleeping in her crib no problem so i wish I'd just enjoyed those snuggly nights with her in bed with me a bit more.

At my NCT class they said that BF mums (and I'm sure all mums tbh)don't move a muscle when asleep with their baby as they have a 6th sense to not squash their baby and I'm sure it's true! I would wake up stiff from having stayed completely frozen in place!

I was told to try and wee in the shower after baby is born as it helps with the stinging, although this actually scared me laods and trying to pee with OH watching meant it just werent happening.
As for the thing in the loo I didnt think they did that anymore? I had to do that 13 years ago with my 1st but never for 2nd and 3rd??

I was sick durin labour with my first and sick after birth with my second,

and I was told gas and air would make me high as a kite, it only made me feel dizzy and sick

I agree though that whether it is your first or 10th, u r in for an amazing experiance, none of my labours and births have ever bin the same x

the bleeding was the worst thing that nobody told me about i thought i was dying

and also sorry if TMI that if you have stitches its ok to go for a number 2 , i was so scared until my midwife reassured me all would be ok and gave me some handy tips on how to go without causing too much pain xx

I was surprised by the bleeding because I had heard lots of things about how bad it was etc etc but I barely had any blood loss at all. The first day was quite heavy but after that it was lighter than a normal period. I even got the midwife to look at a pad and check it was ok.

Another thing that surprised me was just how painful the first two weeks were. I didnt get afterpains but my parts bloody hurt. I dreaded going to the loo and I only had a small graze and was shocked that trousers were very uncomfy and irratated my downstairs.

if you have a c section as soon as you able to get up and stretch your legs but take it slow and don't over do it as your legs feel like jelly and your wobbly.

Take food in or get people to bring it in as hospital portions are tiny and you have to wait for hours, i was starving and had the in laws bring me in food for the night.

don't be afraid to ask for help if your unsure,midwifes are busy but there their to help you too.

my boobs killed when my milk came in and a hot towel on them or shower or bath helped easy the pain/ discomfort.

dont take jeans to wear home they will be uncomfortable, go for something comfy and loose fitting

Actually one thing that really surprised me when I had a natural birth with DD2 was how much my back hurt for the week after from the pushing/straining. I'd obviously used every muscle in my torso to push hard enough and I felt quite bruised and battered afterwards.

And ditto to how much your lady bit hurt. Sitting on a cushion or one of those donut things/a rubber ring really helps!

I must admit I was expecting the blood loss to be worse than it was (still very heavy don't get me wrong!) but my periods have always been heavy and I just made sure to change my maternity pad every time I went to the loo (which was often due to being very thirsty and drinking lots of water). I held the old 1 over my stitches so there was no pain as I went.
Also, the midwife recommended to me that I should go for the first time just after my stitches were put in place so the anaesthetic was still in place.
And on the subject of stitches: They might have to very briefly put a finger in your bottom just to check none of the stitches have gone through.

I remember feeling shocked at how light I felt after giving birth and how odd it was to be able to move properly again after waddling for weeks and not being able to bend over lol

With regards to breastfeeding: It does take most mummies and babies a while to get the hang of it. The first 2 weeks can be rather uncomfortable on your boobs with the engorgement from your milk coming in, sore nipples, etc but it gets so easy after that. One day baby just gets the hang of it and latches on perfectly as soon as anywhere near your boob!

I always had a little box set up with some essentials for when breastfeeding since you are just kinda stuck wherever you are and let's face it hubby might not be that observant or he might not be there at all to supply you with anything. I had water, a cereal bar, nipple cream, breast pads, a muslin and my phone. Made sure that box was within reach before I'd sit down and then I had everything at hand.

Your hormones are gonna be crazy for a while and it's perfectly normal to cry for no reason at all.

During labour most women wee, poo, fart and/or vomit - and no-one cares at the time! The midwives have seen it all before and your birthing partner wouldn't dare comment given the amazing thing you are doing by bringing another life into the world!

Oh yes, I was surprised and confused by this, but my contractions were all in my back and thighs - during the pushing stage I even kept getting cramps in my thighs as there were so over-worked and I'm clearly too unfit

Lastly I would recommend having a babymoon and holding off visitors for a couple of days. Hubby and I had just a few days as our new little family and it was such a lovely time. I could rest in bed or on the sofa all day and didn't have to worry about looking presentable, we ate rubbish-y food and most importantly we got to know this new little person and didn't have to share him with anyone!

I am loving this thread - as a first time mum these are the kind of things I want to know so I know i'm not going crazy when it happens! x

ooh spring, didn't know they put their fingers up one's bottom! can't wait...

G/c from July as it's so quiet in there

Definitely agree about vomiting in labour. No-one mentioned this and it's really common

BFing is hard and if you can't do it you will probably have your noobs manhandled by every midwife in the hospital and have to syringe out enough milk!

If you can't breast feed you will feel really guilty and the MWs and health visitors will look disappointed with you but you can only try for so long and not everyone gets on with it.

That you're really dry afterwards and using tampons is uncomfortable for ages and KY jelly will become your best friend!!!!

That you may feel quite anxious about the baby and spend lots of time checking they're still alive (those sensor mats are a godsend)

That Health Visitors can be quite annoying and you feel a bit like you are being scrutinised as they write notes in your book!

For me labour wasn't that bad and I only had tens, gas and air and a few paracetamol so don't imagine the worst

Forgot to add to stock up on maternity pads and those plastic bed protector mats as if your waters break first, they gush with every contraction and you may be at home for hours and have to go in the car with fluid flowing freely.

Also mean boobs above not noobs!

It is quite nice for someone to say that labour may not be as bad as my mind is building it up to be . Got to say with 8 weeks left to go on my first I am beginning to panic quite alot !!

Xxx