We had our 12 week scan yesterday and got such a shock when instead of hearing the heartbeat and finding out where all it's bits were the lady just went quiet and i had to ask is everything ok she just said point blank i can't find a heartbeat i need to get someone else to check disappeared off leaving me and my husband looking at our baby not knowing what was going on when she did return with the doctor he confirmed that the baby's heart had stopped beating. They took us to a quiet room and the manager came in to tell us our options it was awful and it is so unfair i really had started to relax we had an early miscarriage last year so when we got past the 9 week stage we had started to relax and we were both starting to plan, I am getting bigger and it felt ok now i have to go in for a D and C and that feels more painful than anything as they will just throw my baby away but it means something to me i wish i could miscarry at home then at least i could be awake and do it myself instead of in a hospital where i won't be awake. Sorry but i just feel so low at the moment and can't see the end as i'm not sure when after a D anc C you can start trying to concieve again or what it means for your womb so i can't plan!

Sorry for the long post but just need to put down how angry, sad and frustrated i am!
Rena

Hi Rena,
This is awful news and I feel so bad for you and your oh. I understand exactly how horrible it is to lose your precious bean as I mc'd this week but to make it to your 12 week scan and find out like that is just so unfair.
I mc'd naturally so can't advise about the D&C but I found looking at the miscarriage association leaflets very helpful as they explained each option and the effects clearly. Lots of ladies on this forum have had the procedure done and many recommend it. I'm sure you will get lots of more helpful replies advising you. If you ever need to chat or rant then please just log on - I found the support on here invaluable over the past 2 horrible weeks. Sending you loads of love and hugs.
xxxx D

Hi Rena

I am so, so sorry for your loss. You're right - it really isn't fair.

I haven't had a d&c so can't answer your questions on that but many ladies on here have so hopefully one will be along soon to help you out :\)

You and your OH are in my thoughts at this awful time.

Take care, NN xx

Hey Rena,
i am so sorry for your loss, it is just sad how many nice ladies pass through this experience, please dont be hard on yourself, and try to take care of your health.
I found out that i had a missed miscarriage on the 26th of January where i was 7+1, the baby measured okay but the heart stopped. I had my D&C on the 29th, it was a very simple and fast procedure. They gave me pills before it to dilate my cervix. I stopped eating twelve hours before i went to the hospital. Then i went to the hospital and they put me in a room, and gave me a pill that would help with my anxiety, then went to the operatine room, they injected me with something and thats it, i woke up 20-30 minutes later and it was done, the complications of this procedure is minimal, some ladies prefer the medical pills that induce contractions however. I didnt bleed much for 2 days and i didnt have much pain, then i started bleeding for 2 weeks, but wasnt heavily, most ladies only bleed for 1 week.
After the D&C you are advised not to try for at least one cycle, some say that the cycles go back to normal after the D&C faster than the natural miscarriage, but i am still waiting for my AF so i dont know.

Even if you miscarry normally, you will have a scan afterwards to make sure that there is no more tissue in the uterus, if there is then you will have to have a D&C, but most of the ladies here who had a natural miscarriage didnt find a problem later.

I wish you luck honey, and no matter what you choose, you should try to take it easy with yourself, talk to your husband and we are all here for you and willing to listen.
Love
Renee x

hi
i'm really sorry for what you're going through but i promise that you'll come through it in time. i had mmc and found out at my scan when i should have been 13 weeks last june.

i opted for medical management which didn't work properly, ended up having an incomplete mc and having to have the erpc anyway. from my own experience if this were ever to happen again, i would definitely opt for the erpc as i found it really difficult to go through it at home on my own as i never really knew if what was happening was normal or not. i'm not sure if different hospitals have different policies but when i had the med.management and erpc we were asked whether or not we wanted to have the pregnancy remains cremated and taken home with us. we decided not to do this but i would suggest asking your hospital about this if you don't want them to dispose of the pregnancy products (sorry so clinical but this is what they call it).
i hope you and your husband stay strong for each other and that things work out for you. the girls on here were fantastic when i went through this and will be for you too. x

I am really sorry to hear what has happened hun. I chose to go home and MC naturally so cannot give any advice on the D&C.
I hope you and OH are strong for each other and get through this the best you can.
My thoughts are with you and OH.
Tske care of yourself.

S
xxx

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, it is so sad to see so many mc's happening. I had very early mc so cannot advice you on d&c, but just wanted to say how sorry I am and that you will find lots of kind support on here whenever you need it.

love and hugs to you and your OH xx

Sorry to hear this. You must feel awful. You will be on an emotional rollercoaster for a few months. Take time to grieve and to recover as people who have not been through this do not realise what a major trauma it is.

You are right, it is so unfair we have to go through this when there are so many appaling parents out there who have no such problems as we are having.