Just about to go to bed when my husband told me that my sil has invited us over to their house next weekend for a social. She knows exactly what's happened. I only bl**dy lost my baby last Thursday. And to top it off they have a lovely little boy. It just makes me so angry. She got pg within 3 months of trying. What does she expect? That I suddenly stop grieving so that we can go over and socialise ith the, and act like nothing has happened. I know I sound like a complete cow but I don't wnt to have to socialise with anyone right now nd 'act' normal! :cry:

You don't sound like a cow to me hun, just normal. My sister asked me if I wanted to meet up on Friday with our kids, but she's 38 weeks pg and I just told her I can't because, although I know it isn't her fault, I really can't cope with being around a pg woman while I'm still losing my baby. She was fine and said it was ok. I think your sil probably doesn't realise how hard this is for you. I find that most people who haven't suffered a mc have no idea what it's like and don't realise how hard it is for us to just carry on like nothing has happened. I would explain to your sil that you are grieving and will not be able to attend and really don't feel like socialising.

Sam
xx

Thanks Sam.

I feel abit bad that I posted this because my sil is a lovely person. I think I'm just abit hypersensitive at the moment. And I agree with you, she was probably just trying to be nice. I hate it because this mc has turned me into an emotional wreck. Thanks for your reply xx

It's only natural for you to feel emotional hun, and your sil should be a bit more sensitive to that.

Shortly after I had the first mc I went to DH work Christmas party, and one of his female colleagues told me she knew how bad I felt. She had never had a mc, or even been pg. But she said that her dh sister gave birth to a baby, which sadly passed away after a few days. So this girl DH works with seemed to think that because her sil had lost a baby that she knew how I felt. I felt like screaming at her 'you really have no idea how ridiculous you sound! you have no idea at all, you stupid insensitive bitch!'. I know she was only trying to be nice, but how on earth she thought she knew how I was feeling is a mystery to me!

Some people talk without thinking though, and often fail to see that while we are telling everyone we are fine, we are actually in pieces. When I had the last mc in August I decided to stop telling people I was ok when I wasn't. So when people ask 'how are you feeling?', I answered with 'I feel terrible. I feel miserable. But please don't feel uncomfortable, I don't expect you to know what to say or do. Just expect that I won't be my usual cheerful self because I'm grieving'. I tried not to say it with a harsh or nasty tone, just friendly so they knew that I was hurting. People soon realised they needed to be more sensitive.

I hope you start feeling better soon hun.

xxx