Hi guys- I have a rubbish signal atm & I'm on my phone, so this might send funny..

Hope all had gd new year & Xmas. I just need some sensible brains to tell me I'm not as mad as a bag of frogs. The short version is I feel friends and hubby just don't get it.

Not been on here for a while- feeling a bit down and hopeless about it all so took some time off forum. Things were looking up thou, just before left work on Friday, found out that my prog was 42! 42! At day 24, after a <1 on day 21 and prev best prog of 4. And I def can tell when I ovulate... So all happy.

Then got to my NYE destination. I hadn't realised the afternoon had all the families invited round. Millions of kids. Infact we were the only childless couple and I kept being asked by people I don't know well enough to tell the truth or to f-off, when I would ve having kids. So smiled and said "it's not always so simple" and moved onto the next group- who asked the same bloody question. Idiots.

And then, after all the families went home and it was just 4 of us, was told a good friend is 4 weeks preg. It seems everyone knows, but she wanted to tell me to my face "because she knows how I feel". She's been trying for 4 bloody months. And I know she's prob just trying to understand how I feel- but don't tell me you know how I feel- this whole thing makes HER so uncomfortable, she has never once asked me how I feel. And then (!!!) hubby told me I can't resent my friends pregnancy- and I went crazy- I don't resent her preg. I'm delighted. I'm resentful that I can't be pleased for her without feeling sorry for myself. And crying alot. Not cool.

And breath. I know I dealt badly with it all, but not unreasonably, given the circs... I was so happy about the prog result, and it seemed so pathetic and pointless when faced with babies and bfps.

And more babies today. Wish me luck.

Oh, Pumpkin, of course you are not mad, or bad (or infact, dangerous to know, unless there's something you're not telling us!!)

Its official that people are self-absorbed idiots and don't give a single consideration to other people when they're in their own little bubble. What did this friend need to start telling people at 4 weeks for, anyway?!? I felt exactly the same when my friend told me she was pregnant at 12 weeks, 3 months after getting married! (You can do the maths, I'm sure!) I know it unreasonable, but I just felt like saying "could you not have just waited a bit longer, thats just rubbing my nose in it!" (of course thats ridiculous and if they asked me what they should do before ttc, I would have told them not to waste any time!)

Its great news about your prog levels, it lovely to know your body is actually working the way its supposed to do.

AND. And!! tell hubby to sort himself out and find his empathy button. Of course you're going to find pg announcements difficult. If you're anything like me, you wallow in self pity for a few hours (maybe a day or two if its cd1!) and then pull yourself together and put on a brave face for them. We can't expect all our friends and family to stop having babies while we sort our bodies out (be nice if they would, though!).

xxx

Thanks windy. Hope all well with you +1.

To be fair to hubby, he was upset as I do sometimes forget its tough for him too, but really- he needs to choose his words better.

Could test at 7 dpo this week sometime, I could be joining the club (positive thoughts for 2012) but think I'll wait till home and less pathetic feeling. And if I wait a bit longer I can avoid the multiple, maybe it's a false negative poas frenzy...

Kx

(oh, and saw you joined your due in forum- not that I'm stalking you!- glad you can finally feel confident enough!)

Aw pumpkim of course you're not horrible all the women on here feel exactly the same so don't beat yourself up! Men have trouble saying the right thing sometimes,they would just rather not talk about things. Hope you feel better and this year will be your bfp year and sooner than later! Your prog sounds good so just focus on that xxxxx good luck xxxx

Aw pumpkin I know how u feel and it's perfectly normal Hun. Try not to beat urself up about anything.
People either think they are being supportive or are just generally stupid!! I found when we were ttc so many people were asking us when we were having kids and iv gotta say I did just end up telling them the truth and was surprised how great people were or the people I didn't know just avoided the topic after that! He he
I had about 15 maybe more pregnancy announcements some from good friends while ttc and i'l b honest I did feel resentful not that they or anyone else knew as I didn't let on. But I got so upset thinking why are they being blessed and Iam not.... Started thinking I might have done something horrible in a previous life!
But unfortunately it's life and it's not always fair.
However I do now believe that it will happen for everyone whether they get their BFP, or go through IVF or adoption etc just don't give up hope and I know it's easy to say but try and relax. The one month after 2 yrs ttc we had totally stopped ttc I fell pg.... Weird!

Good luck lovely and I keep popping in LTTC to see how everyone is getting on


X x

I had to comment on this, you are so perfectly normal! When were having trouble concieveing (me and hubby both have fertility problems and were told we would need IVF before we had our miracle) if anyone announced they were pregnant I would bawl my eyes out, I couldnt be happy for anyone. I knew that wasn't fair, but logical thinking doesnt come into these things. The worst one for me was when a close friend was trying for her second baby, she concieved her first baby first month and because she was on month 3 trying for her second, she told me she knew how I felt! I was absolutely fuming, I could have killed her with my bare hands!

People who have never been through it will never understand the hell it puts you through. Even though its tough for the men I still dont think they can properly understand what its like for the woman once that maternal urge has kicked in. Never feel guilty for how you feel, this is a situation where you are completely entilted to feel upset and jealous or anything else.

Sending you lots of luck, I really hope you get your miracle this year X

Thanks guys. Friend herself hasn't told me yet- was the mutual friend in staying with who let the secret out the bag- bless her- as I think she at least gets down down I can get. Didn't help that her and my hubbies were shouting at her saying she shouldn't have said- but so glad she did. I'd have been mortified if I carried on like I did in front of the preggers friend.

So glad you lot can understand because when I feel like that, no well meaning friend can make me feel better- I just get angry and argumentative. And it's nice to be reminded that it might happen by people who actually have been there.

Faye- think I'm approaching about 15 pregnancies since I started, not including those now on there 2 (and one 3rd- but she must be crazy - pregnant with 2 under 2!).

Just remember how u feel is perfectly normal and do not beat urself up about it or feel bad or guilty. Otherwise ul just feel worse. It will happen

X x

Ah, just wanted to send you hugs honey. I've had similar situations with my OH in the past, and my personal favourite was him saying "stop being resentful, I hate it when your so bitter" - at the time I wanted to throttle him, but then I know he was just as upset and meant that he hates seeing me sad, but it doesn't feel like that at the time!

Congrats on your prog levels!

Xxx

Hi Pumpkin. I totally understand where you're coming from. We have had similar issues ourselves. You're not mad or bad- completely normal. Its a horrible situation to be in and it drives me potty when people claim to know how we feel while they are sitting munching up their baby who was conceived on cycle number one. Grrrr. xXx

Totally understand how you're feeling regarding friends becoming pregnant etc so quickly.

You are not a bad person - although you do feel like you are when secretly inside you are falling to pieces when they tell you their news.

You are not alone in feeling this way and don't ever seel bad for thinking like that either hun *hugs*