I don't post on here very often any more, although as you can see I have been around a long time! I'm just getting really frustrated and need a small rant if you don't mind.

I am just really struggling to come to terms with the fact that hubby and I have "unexplained infertility" when all the tests have come back ok. My bloods, vaginal ultrasound, HSG's (x2!) and lap & dye all came back ok. Hubby has very slight problems with morphology and count, but really nothing drastic. So why is it that it still hasn't happened for us after 2 years of trying? Are we too old (34 & 36)? Am I too stressed (I get very stressed at work)? Could there be immunological problems that we may never know about?

We are due to start IUI or IVF early next year (still trying to decide which to opt for) and I am finding it really hard to accpept that this is what we have to do in order to achieve what should come so naturally.

Is anyone else in a similar position to us? Would be good to hear how you cope with it all as it's really starting to get me down.

xx

Hey,

We have unexplained fertility too. They call it secondary infertility as I had an ectopic "so at least I know I can get pregnant!" God that annoys the hell out of me!

It's very frustrating as i've just read zita west from cover to cover and one of my clients has walked in, smoked heroin and crack everyday fort 15 years and manages to get pregnant. It really is a load of bollocks!

In terms of IUI-v-IVF my hospital no longer offer IUI as the success rathes are apparently less that your chances of faling naturally if you don't have a diagnosed fertility problem. For this reason we're having IVF in the new year as he didn't want to waste time with something he didn't think would help us. But I know a lot of pct's still use it.

x x x

Hi,

I dont have unexplained fertility, I have tubal damage but finding it hard to accept that we need ot have IVF in order to get pregnant when you see all these women, as MP has said, who dont look after themselves and just get pregnant and then continue to abuse their bodies. xxx

Hi I'm in the same boat too. TTC 2nd for 3 yrs now. Had IVF in May and failed due to it being ectopic. Now only have one tube left and a also very low reserve of eggs and I'm only 30!. Natural conception for us is quite impossible, unless a bloody miracle happens! Thank god we have 6 embryos on ice and we are considering a frozen cycle of IVF next year.

This unexplained infertility/secondary infertility diagnosis is very difficult to come to terms with, even more so when we already have a healthy son and can't conceive again. Heartbreaking but so hard to find anything/anyone to blame, invisible factors beyond our control! Just gotta get on with it and try everything possible to make it work be it IUI or IVF/ICSI. It's the true test of a relationship as you do learn that marriage vows are true 'in good times and bad' you've got stick together and support each other.

Good luck to all x

Hey ladies,

Im another with 'secondary infertility'. Like your OH, my hubby has a small problem with morpholgy and motility, tho his sperm count is very high and yet we are still trying 2 years on from the miscarriage (it had taken us 1 and a half years to get the first BFP). All our tests have come back ok and it just makes it all the more frustrating. Some days i'm able to just get on with things and not think about it too much but other times, I could explode with anger.

I agree with Anne01 that it really is a test of a relationship and luckily, it hasn't affected us too much because we are strong enough to cope with it together (tho I am sure I've probably tested his patience a good few many times).

I know it's easier said than done, but we just have to try and stay as positive as possible but also allow ourselves to have a little cry when it all gets too much.

Baby dust all round. x

Hi Angelfish,

We have unexplained infertility too and like everyone else find it difficult to cope with at times. We have been ttc for 21 months and some months i am ok but others hubby comes home to a crying mess! He is strong and positive for us both which helps but I am sure he gets fed up with me occaisionally (or probably quite often!!).

All our tests came back ok, all a bit borderline but nothing unusual, so now we wait...... until the 2 year mark then we get referred again for IUI/IVF. In our trust I think we get 2 x IUI first.

I have had to lose weight before they will consider treatment so have found it helpful to concentrate on this, am now 3 stone lighter, so am pleased about this but I am old too (36 and 35) so I know time is pressing.

This prob wont help you but at least you are not alone!!
xxx

You are defo not alone hun, we are also in the unexplained bracket, which is sooo frigging annoying at times eh??

We have been tryingsince Sep 07, so we have now passed the 3 year mark, and now on the waiting list for IVF, which could take up to 3 years!!!

We also have the choice of self funding 2 cycles of IUI, which we are seriously considering doing...

If u ever need to rant, heres the place to do it...

xx

Hi there
Just thought I would share something with you - my friend and her husband were diagnosed with unexplained infertility 3 years ago. She has slight endometriosis but nothing that would interfere with her conceiving according to th docs, plus she is quite overweight which they have nagged her about, and he is fine. My friend is 38 and was considering sterilisation next year if they didn't conceive naturally (she doesn't want IVF) due to her age but - out of the blue - she is now 7 weeks pregnant.
My oh and I know what our problem is so i can't say i know what you are going through but miracles can happen. Don't give up hope just yet

Hi there. I don't often post, but I do log-on from time to time as I find it helps to know that there are people out there who understand where we are.

Anyway, I just thought that I'd ask if you have had your thyroid tested? After 13 months (and other tests coming back as normal), I've been tested (for family and general health reasons) and come back as having an underactive thyroid. Apparently, it's fairly common in women and being just a little bit underactive can have a significant effect on fertility (even if you're within NHS "normal" bands). I've now been put on thyroxine and I understand that when my thyroid stimulating hormone levels come down into the 1 to 2 range (currently at 27! NHS range is 1 to 5), our chances should be greatly improved.

I'm sorry if I'm telling you something that you already know, but I thought I'd mention it as I know from speaking to others that testing is not always routine (e.g. my GP doesn't think it makes a difference), even though there's a lot of research out there suggesting it does have an impact.

I hope that you get your BFP soon - it's so frustrating when month after month goes by with nothing and you don't know why or what you can do to change things.

Thank you ladies for your lovely helpful replies, and sorry I'm so late to respond.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one, sometimes LTTTC can make you feel so alone. Luckily my hubby is amazing, although it breaks my heart when he gets down about it all! Like Anne01 says, it's a big relationship-tester, but I'm lucky in that if anything it seems to have brought me and hubby even closer together.

Wingnut, that's a lovely story, gives a bit of hope. I never give up hope each month, which I guess is a positive thing.

FC, no I haven't had my thyroid tested. That's given me something to think about, thank you, especially as my mum has an underactive thyroid. Not sure if it's hereditary or not, but worth bearing in mind, thank you.

So it's decision time next week - IUI or IVF, not a decision I thought I'd ever have to make! Just hoping for that natural BFP in the meantime.

Thanks again ladies, and good luck to all x