Hi Ladies,

You are all such a nice friendly bunch i am hoping that you can help me. As you may know i have three lo's ds1is 4 ds2 is 2 and dd is 14 weeks.
I had PND with my first lo but not with my 2nd. I think that i may be developing it again with my little girl.
I suffered extreme anxiety in the last few months of my pregnancy as i was so worried that something was going to happen to her. I would worry so much sometimes, that it would result in geting an upset stomach and being sick.
Well in feb my beautiful baby girl was born and i felt like the most blessed mum ever to have 3 beautiful children. I honestly could not have been happier. Yes it did feel like hard work but i always felt that spring in my step,if you know what i mean. Then in April i got ill with tonsillitis and it took ages to go about 3 weeks. It was like a turning point. The anxiety came back the doctor gave me stuff for IBS and said it cauld be caused by stress. Then when lo was 13 weeks i had my first af since having her since then i have felt terrible. The af has gone but i just cry all the time. i feel so sad my 4 yr old keeps asking me why im crying which makes me worse as he should not see me like this. I so guilty as i have all i have ever wanted yet can't stop crying. I feel so tired, so worn out. I went for a walk as they say exercise helps but cried all the way. I feel so helpless like im stuck under the rainy cloud and everyone else has the sunshine. My DH is wonderful but its so hard when he goes to work, i cry when he goes as he is my rock.
i tried to make an appointment to see the gp and when they told me there was not one for a week, what did i do.....cry!!!! (i did get an earlier appt though!)
I suppose my question is how do/did you ladies cope. Did any of you feel like this? If you did how did you manage with the other kids as well?
I just feel like im letting my children down being like this:cry:

GGGRRR bloody BE, Ive written a lovely reply and it ate it GGRRRR!
Ok here goes again:
DO NOT FEEL GUILTY, YOU ARE NOT LETTING YOUR KIDS DOWN!
I am sure you are doing a super job with your lo's. Have you been in contact with your HV? I am suprised you couldnt get a on the day appointment with a doctor, at our surgery we ask for a on the day urgent appointment, maybe you could try again first thing in the morning.
I had awful bad teary days after DD2, I didnt think it would ever stop. My grandma was the one that changed things for me, I was crying on the phone one day(over god knows what) and she told me " Emma, just get the children ready, put them in the pushchair and go out. Go out for a walk round the park and chat to your kids about what you see. dont think just do it"
It was the last thing I wanted to do but I did and do you know, it worked not only did I come home feeling tons better but the house didnt seem so intense. In fact I went out everyday rain or shine just for a walk. I still do it know when the kids are getting ott or Im having a teary day.
I never thought just a walk could blow away my blues but Grandma was right(she always is, im sure she is a witch lol)
Even if you dont fancy it, maybe give it a try......you might be suprised as I was.

I do understand though when you say hubby is your rock, mine is too and I still get down after hes had a long week at work and im on my own.

I dont know if this helps, Im not too good at getting thoughts down on paper( computor lol!!)
I do understand though babe.

Let us know how things go xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You are not a bad parent, PND is an illness, its not something you choose. I had pnd when dd1 was born and it was awful, I felt like a complete failure, like I coulnt cope, anxiety sickness the lot. I didnt seek help for a long time which is why I think it got so bad, I was put on anti depressants and after a few weeks they helped, dont get me wrong I still had bad days but I had more good days, I was on them for almost a year and was a bit worried about coming off them but I was fine. You will come through this and out the other side, what you need is understanding and support and that is what we are here for. I was very lucky as it didnt come back when I had my next 2, although if it had of done, I knew the signs and I would have got myself seen by a dr a lot sooner.

hi hun
get on to ur h.v and tell her you need to talk to g.p NOW it'll be hard to talk about it but once its there in the open its waaaay easier to cope with as u no doubt know. i have suffered ibs since dads crash and itis linked to anxiety which causes you too loose sleep then feel more anxious n then get sicker my advice is get out to mum n baby meets walk with the pram and dont be afraid to cry infront of ur babies they want to help n hug you better so let them. tell them mummy is tired and needs extra special loves !!! the g.p will help but you need to let people in ur life know like ur mum and friends they wont think ur awful or a bad mummy theyll be able to help.; ask a family member or friend to take ur older kids for a bit one day so you get baby time then get them to have baby so u get toddler time if that makes sense. i think ur terying to hard to be all things to everyone. let us know how you get on at gp and make sure if theres anything else we can do even if its just an ear to listen then let us know

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Thanks ladies i knew i could rely on you! Well i have a docs apt for 10.20 tomorrow so hopefully she will be able to help.(she is a lovely doc thankfully) I have told my mum but the anxiety is just eating away at me i get anxious about death alot as soon after having had ds1 my dad died then with ds2 my dh nan died so i supose this time i an anxious that i will loose another person that is close to me. My goodness i must sound like a right nut case!!!! I just couldn't bare to loose anyone else.
Your right lollyhatch i am having trouble sleeping too. I am also finding it hard to eat i just have no appietie (sp) i feel that i need to try to force things down though or i may feel even worse. My mum took me out this afternoon to a cafe and i hated it there were too many people and i felt really uncomfortable. Its a bit better when im out with not too many people about.
I am lucky as DH has managed to get a days hol tomorrow to come with me to the docs in case i get too upset and mum is taking the older two.I just think to myself i am one of the blessed people to have my Dh, mum and kids....so WHY do I feel like this?

hun theres no rhyme or reason to pnd it just happens and with ibs ontop its awfull but keep going out i got scared of going out to the point everytime i left house i had ibs attack dont let this go any further YOU ARE A GOOD MUM!!!! THIS IS JUST UR BODY trying to cope with birth and then being so ill and now the ibs it all takes its tollXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks lolly....esp with all that is going on for you ...just read your post so thank you for your advice when you must feel a bit worried yourself. What a nice lady you are.....well you are all lovely ladies on here xxxx

hey if i kept thinking about whats happening to me at the mo my head would explode and i think if uve had p.n.d and felt that alone and scared then you should make sure noone you know has to feel like it xxxxxxxx

Hi Well i went to the docs today and she was lovely......made me cry even more though!!!
She has given me some anti depressants to take which i must admit I am a bit nervous about taking as she said that i could get side effects like feeling sick and dizzyness.....so i am worried how i will cope with the kids if i have these side effects as i will not be able to drive either! (we live in the middle of no where)
She also said that she would send the HV to see me which i hope might help. My DH is seeing if he can get some unpaid parental leave to help look after the kids but i wont hold my breath that his work will let him take it!!!!! It would be good though to have him about if i do get side effects. Lets hope the tablets work tho and i can get back to feeling 'normal' again rather than an anxious blubbering wreck!!!!lol

hi hun
im glad u saw dr and it was apositive experience!!!! dont worry about side affects its unlikely you will get all of them and usually its just for a settling period. i found i didnt notice much difference just my emotions were levelled off!

hope it gets alot better very soon hun

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