vistors in del suite?? - Labour and birth

leet1976

20/04/2007 at 11:12

just wondering what your views are on this, I have posted a thread in pregnancy about this and just wanted to see whether any of you will be/have allowed visitors straight after baby is born? :\?

KirstyMacey Platinum member

20/04/2007 at 11:21

Hi there im really quite adament about this subject as i dont want anybody turning up after the delivery until i have phoned to say and i have rested and spent time with my baby and my oh. But i think watever i say the in laws are going to be there at my door ready for when the baby arrives. I have spoken to alot of people about this and most had alot of people there for the first baby and regretted it so wont be having anyone there apart from oh for the second xx

Beebee

20/04/2007 at 12:18

if you are worried about people turning up then let the midwives know that you want to be left alone. They can be pretty stern & especially when it comes to mums needs & wants so just get them to get rid of them. Also I don't know about your hospital but mine has really strict visiting hours & a locked entrance & wont let anyone in (apart form dad/partner/birthing partner) out of visiting hours.

pen

20/04/2007 at 13:21

the only people in th eroom will be me, my hubby and baby. no one else will be there or afterwards. untill i get back to the maternity ward after then the visitors can come. i just like it to be us 3 for a while.xx

samjjones

20/04/2007 at 15:59

At my hospital they are quite strict. Only allowed hubby/partner and one other birthing partner in delivery suite with you. Once baby is born, they allow grandparents in for a short visit. After that it's strictly hospital visiting time's only for everyone, apart for hubby/partner when they can be with you from 8am til 9pm.

MisoSoup36989 Platinum member

21/04/2007 at 15:50

my hospital was very strict only partner in and i prefered it that way, although in labour with my 1st, my oh aunt came in (her grandson was born same day) pissed and started going on about oh mums dog, im like what the f**k im in labour here piss off. FAMILIES!!!!!!!.

daska

22/04/2007 at 05:47

My brother in law turned up unexpectedly after my first and wouldn't leave even when I told him I really needed to go to sleep and rolled over to face the other way. I'm hoping to go to Crowborough this time. They allow hubby/partner + 1 other at birth, then grandparents and siblings after.

leet1976

23/04/2007 at 05:14

i hope nothing like that happens to me, as i'm not the type to say anything!! my oh spoke to my family about it and to his mum and we've come up with a compromise that it will be just the 2 of us whilst i'm in labour let the family know that i'm in hospital and then call them once he's born and they can then give us half an hour before coming down to visit, and that's only if he's born at a reasonable hour, for all we know it could be the middle of the night in which case they prob won't want to come straight down, they may wait til next day!! Em xx

wenders

23/04/2007 at 17:57

hi tallulahlola... if it does end up in the day why not you & oh agree to "accidently" not get time to ring them to let them know you're in hospital? then just ring them once you've had enough time together as a new family?? :lol: hopefuly for you it will be at 3am so they probably won't come down! maybe just let your midwife know? they can be pretty ruthless on "excited grandparents" xx

carlielaine1 Platinum member

24/04/2007 at 03:09

i really want my mum and my bf with me,gotta ask and see what they say, fingers crossed, she wasnt there the first time and will be gutted if they dont let her in xx

leet1976

24/04/2007 at 03:09

Thanks Wenders, sounds like a good idea, it's my oh that had the problem to start with though!! he has spoken to lots of people about it and everyone else agrees with me, as well as all the ladies that have posted on here(which he doesn't know about!!!) i think he has come around to the idea, maybe i could remove the battery from his phone when he's not looking then he won't be able to call!! Emxx

wenders

24/04/2007 at 04:04

sounds like a good idea taking the battery out! lol don't let his mil spoil your special time together.. maybe even mention it to her directly? Is it something that he wants or is mil maybe bullying him a little?

leet1976

24/04/2007 at 04:28

Mil agrees with me!! she's been through labour four times and it was different back then as even dad wasn't there. no it is only him that had a problem with the whole thing!! he spoke to his mum about it the other day and she is quite happy to wait to see baby til i'm ready, and so are my family. i think he's got the message that no-one else minds not seeing baby immediatley after he's born, like someone else said he will still be the same baby whether they see him as soon as he's born or 3 hours later!!i told him last night that it's not about what other people want it's about me, i'm the one that will have carried the baby 9 months, and i'm the one who has to give birth to him, so it is about me and what i want!!! Em xx

wenders

24/04/2007 at 07:56

good on you em!! xx :\)

joannemarie Platinum member

24/04/2007 at 18:34

my mil was adament that she would be waiting in the hosp coridoor, which I wasnt happy about as I wanted a couple of hours with the 3 of us, but when I went to visit the hosp before the birth the m/w told us there was no where for people to wait!! I was made up. The delivery suite was key coded and you cant get in unless your a due mum or their birthing partner. When you have given birth at my hosp, you get tranx to the mat ward without going through any passages where the public are. They were seriously strict about visiting hours too. My mil was told only 2.30 - 4 and 6.30 - 8 but she still tried to get in and they turned her away!! If I do it again thou I would put my foot down about who comes to visit too. I specifically asked for parents, our grandparents and my oh's sister only -both our parents are separated and I thought if they brought their partners the number of visitors would be far too many but my mil and sis in law both broughts their oh's. It meant that their partners met my baby before my mums partner who been a part of my life for over 15 years! I was fuming, my family did as I asked and it made me feel like shit that they brought their oh's when my mum and dad didnt!!

leet1976

25/04/2007 at 04:29

sorry to hear that, it does make me more adamant that i get my way now. My mum was able to wait in the waiting room when my sister was in labour but i've told mum i'd rather she wasn't there, it may sound harsh, but she was really upset while my sister was in labour, and i don't want that!! Besides there's no telling how long she'll be waiting there anyway!! hope you get your way next time around Joanne. Em xx

MummytoKKandNaiNai Platinum member

25/04/2007 at 04:59

I dont want my mil there during/after or when i get home. I suppose i will have to compromise with the 'when i get home thing though!!' I only want my o/h at the birth, no students, not even my mum (who i love dearly) i just dont feel comfortable her seeing me like that!!* I say to anyone having problems like this to stand your ground. Ultimately its your decision***

AngelBlue

25/04/2007 at 13:28

At our hospital only birthing partner/oh is allowed on the del suite and on the ward where you go back after there are really strict visiting hours so I'll be ok. oh will keep anyone I dont want there away - he's good like that :lol:

leet1976

26/04/2007 at 04:03

Hi Tess, i feel the same way with my mum, like i said she was really upset when my sister was in labour so i don't think i could put her through that again, plus i would know she was there and i'm very self concious!! although i'm sure that will all go out of the window once i'm in labour!!!!! i think the visting hours are quite strict in our hospital too, will ask my midwife today when i see her. Em xx

Beebee

26/04/2007 at 04:25

I find in sitautions like this that being blunt & potentially causing offense is a minor issue compared to your own comfort & happiness.

YOU are the one having the baby & will spend the hours in pain & stress so YOU decide who visits & WHEN.

My family have alreayd been told who will & who wont be allowed to visit me & when. If anyone has been upset by it I don't care. And if anyone rocks up outside of when I have said I will tell the mw to get rid of them.

Luckily my family aren't intrusive so don't imagine having any problems but if someone does, I dont' mind telling them to come back at another time.