Hello,

Our baby is 3.5 months old. We're not getting her christened but we are having a party for her in a couple of weeks which has made me think about agreeing and asking someone to be her legal guardians.

I've been agonising about it since before she was born. The obvious answer is my sister and her husband. But both DH and I find it very difficult to ask them because they have a one year old son and they have not asked us to be his guardians. He was baptised in January and has four god parents. I am assuming (because my sister is not forthcoming with information generally) that two of these god parents are also his legal guardians.

We've been thinking about it for months and for various reasons don't think any of our friends or other family are suitable. I would be happy to ask my parents but then DH's parents might take offence and anyway how sensible is it to chose grandparents who are already 60+ when bambino (and any siblings) may need their guardians for at least another 20yrs?

Last night I said to DH that the bottom line is that my sis and her hubs are the best people to care for bambino, they are already good parents and and therefore, regardless of our feelings, in wanting to do the best for her, we should chose them anyway.

I think he's still finding it hard to swallow. So am I.

What would you do?

hello

as far as i am aware god parents have no legal responsibility and i think a legal guadian is only so if named in a will, we have just made a will and have named my parents as legal guardians so if anything happened they would get sole responsibility, they are 50 and 60 and would i hope be caperable for the next 18 years if that became neccesary,


we have told them they are named in our will but we have not made a song and dance about it so no one else knows and if we decide to have a ceremony the people who we chose as a guide for LO will have no legal responsibility to him

I think godparents are generally legal guardians as well, but don't think that they HAVE to be. It just tends to work out that way. Maybe ask your sister about it?

What about friends? do any of your friends have kids, or would make good parents? Basically you have to think next best case scenario so if you can't bring up your kids, who is the next best person? Remember these people need to bring up your child, probably your most precious possession, so you want to be able to trust them and know they are going to do everything they can to make your child happy. We've decided on definitely my brother, maybe my hubby's elder brother or maybe our best friends. We haven't done it yet but are planning to put this in our will, with a clause that both families should make any difficult decisions together, and that if our son lives with one side of the family, a certain amount of time should be spent with the other.

We have also sorted out life assurance, so if something happens to both of us, there is a trust fund to provide enough money until he's 18 to care for him, and also for a small pot for after he's 18 to go to uni, or buy a car or whatever!

Hello guys, hope you all are having complete fun on this awesome site.