hi guys, i just wanted to know if nebody felt the same way i do.....i feel really useless cos im stuk at home with the kids all day and not doin "real money makin work" so my hubby calls it....
i racked my brains out and studied really hard to get my degree, but then fell pregnant straight after i graduated so never got the chance to work. thot id look for work after that but then fell pregnant another two times after that so got well stuk in the house....now my older two will be in school full time after the summer hols so cudve thot abt getin a job then....but now my disabled mother in law is living with us and i cant go to work cos i have to look after her aswell now, and now im just at a real low as to y i put myself here after studying so hard....and yea maybe i cud find a job but il only be pushin myself even harder than i am now lookin after 3 kids, disabled mother in law AND the house hold chores......wat u think?
shud i just get over the fact dat my degree mite aswell b in the bucket rite now....or do u guys think wat i am doin rite now is just as worthwhile and i shud just get on with it, i mean i did put myself in this situation......
ne thots?

Work out how many hours you do of everything and calculate how much you would earn if you were paid the going rate. You might not be bringing in money but you are definitely doing work and saving paying for a cleaner, carer and childminder.

If you feel as though you want to work, perhaps start part-time or even volunteering to get some experience and make it clear to your OH you'll need help. This will give you experience to look for other jobs in the future, but you may need more training. Some friends from Uni have decided that teaching fits in well with having a family so have done a 1 year PCGE to do this but it does require a lot of juggling.

I would advise that you think about what you want to do when your littlest is at school and start working towards that now. If that means a carer for your MIL for a day or two a week so be it. Otherwise you'll resent her for tying you to the home..... and a happy Mum tends to mean happy kids.

Yep there will be school holidays but you will get paid holiday too and there are always lots of good summer clubs for children over the holidays.

Good luck deciding what you want to do.
Mooomin x

It is always one of the toughest decisions to make. When my MIL developed Alzheimer's DH & I seriously considered keeping her home with us as the thought of putting her into a home seemed unkind (it wasn't what she wanted). The more we talked it through though we realised that taking full time care of her along with DD who was a newborn at that time would eventually take it's toll on both of us & with help from my BIL we eventually found a local care home that could provide her with the full time care she needs. We still have bouts of guilt occasionally but realise we made the right choice for all of us (especially now no.2 is on the way & care juggling would be even more tight) & I have the opportunity to return to work once my children are of school age which will help our income increase back towards what it was before. You aren't useless doing what you are doing & could even be entitled to government money as your MIL's full time carer, but you do need to seriously sit down & discuss with DH whether this is what you want to be doing for the next however many years.

it is hard doing so much....but at the end of the day im a muslim and care homes and stay at home husband is out of the question. and because he doesnt have brothers, which makes me the one and only DIL im the only one to look after her. in a way im being an idiot aswell because i have some disablities aswell, so it will be too much to take on wudnt it? i take care of the housework, look after the kids and MIL, and go to the shop 16 hours a week.....i may not get paid for it but we save that much money that basicaly pays for our home essentials....i only feel useless becos im not actually working in wat i got a degree for.
i had a serious discussion with my OH who basiacly told me off for feeling incomplete becos i have so much on hands at the moment and shudnt be feeling like this bcos he doesnt think i need to work when we have the shop and with my disabilities itl be taking extra workload on that i dont need....but i didnt know if he was saying that becos he actually realy cares about me puting myself out to prove summat, or hes saying it cos him and MIl and the kids will be hard up with me not being at home as much and doing everything like some free skivvy.....