getting a bit stressed, needing words of wisdom please!

20 messages

linzimc88

08/08/2010 at 12:46

hello ladies, I'm a newbie breastfeeder, my little boy is only a day and a half old so it's very early days, but already I'm finding it very difficult and have thought about stopping a couple of times. In reality I am NOT going to quite without a bloody good fight so figured I'd get some tips on here.

So far the latch doesn't feel quite right 80% of the time. It feels sharp and painful like he doesn't have enough nipple/breast in his mouth. it isn't agonising so I carry on purely because i can hear him gulping and swallowing and it's reassuring to know he's feeding well. I have tried to correct the latch but without success. How do you do this? I know how he *should* be on the breast but actually doing it is something else!

Also, he's been feeding pretty much from my left breast alone. I just can't seem to get him on to my right, I don't feel like theres any difference in nipple shape/size so this isn't an issue. The midwife helped me and got him onto it once, perfect latch as well but he only fed for a minute then was full so it was a bit gutting.

He's slow to get latched on also, spends a while sniffing about and licking/slobbering on my nipple and then screams and screams as though he can't find milk when it's literally touching his lips. This is where I get frustrated and upset and feel like giving up.

So with regards to my above problems and also feeding in general does anybody have any tips or wise words to help me along a little? I just can't believe how difficult breastfeeding is when it's supposed to natural and instinctive!!

Thank you in advance XXX

Peeptoe1

08/08/2010 at 15:00

Hi, sorry to hear you're having trouble but good on you for perservering - it really really WILL be worth it!

I am sure other ladies will be far far better at describing how to go about getting a good latch far better than me, so I'll leave that to them! But as regards the nipple preference, I had this with Hugo - he preferred my left to my right and it was a struggle every time I tried him on the right.

As you feel you're having latch issues anyway, it may be that your latch on the right isn't quite as good as when he's on the left, or it may be that you're holding him differently. Have you tried feeding him on the right side in the 'rugby ball' position - where he is essentially lying in the same position as when you're feeding him on the left, but his body goes under your arm like you're holding a rugby ball. It may 'trick' him in to thinking he's still on the left and be more comfortable to him.

Hugo was a slow latcher too and I used to have to wait until he was in scream mode (didn't take long!) and his mouth was wide open before I literally shoved my breast in to his mouth and he would eventually start sucking.

I had days when I thought I wouldn't make it with EBF, but Hugo and I are still going strong at 8 months (in addition to solids too of course!) so try and hang in there. Each day it got easier and easier until I got to the point where I wondered how women who FF did it - so much more effort!!

Hope others can help x

tronski

08/08/2010 at 15:34

It took us a good few days to get the latch right. I was often fighting with M to get her to open wide enough. Have you tried latching him on then gently moving his bottom lip down so his mouth get wider? I had to do this with every feed for a couple of days before M understood what she needed to do. She's a pro now!

M also had a breast preference and I found feeding on the less used one painful. Just perservered though and made her feed from it - it's fine now, was better within a few days again. I also found the 'rugby tackle' hold easiest when I started feeding. It really allows you to see them latch on.

M does the sniff and slobber too - wouldn't worry too much. BF is harder than I thought it would be and I was so ready to give up in the first few days. Day 10 was a turning point for us - M just got the hang of it and I was more comfortable with it all. Keep trying for now!! You're doing a grand job.

PS - I also like to feed laying down. Just pop their head opposite your breast. I find it nice and relaxing. x

Edited: 18/04/2011 at 05:42

sarah-jb

08/08/2010 at 16:46

Firstly you are doing really well so don't stress too much.

Do you use a feeding cushion? I found one very useful as I was then able to use two hands to try and latch her on, one to guide her head and the other to hold my boob in place. Also if she started to scream then I would take the opportunity while her mouth was wide open to pretty much shove the boob in. I would also pull her lower lip down when she was latched on. I didn't try the rugby ball hold but I did, and still do, feed lying down sometimes, just lie down facing each other with him lined up with your nipple and then guide him on.

Has your milk come in yet? When my milk first came in and my boobs were really hard then we did struggle to get a good latch but they soon softened up and it got easier.

Do you use any cream on your nipple? You can try one (sorry can't remember what its called) or just as good is squeezing out a bit of milk and rubbing that on your nipple at the end of a feed.

Keep going and you'll soon get there.

xx

haydens_mummy Platinum member

09/08/2010 at 03:10

Hi, all really good replies up to now so theres not much else to say really!

Have you tried expressing a bit of milk onto your nipple? it kind of prompts them to remember to latch i think!

Baby will only feed in very short 'sessions' at the minute because your colustrum is so filling so dont worry about him getting enough just yet, your milk will come in and you wont know what to do with it all!! Just make sure he's getting lots of wet nappies as a sign its going in the right direction.

In terms of correcting the latch when he's on, i have to move my boob about while hes still on - like pull the top of the boob and he'll sink into a good position then.
If you hear clicky noises its means he's not on right as there's air getting in, i had this for the first few days, just try and change the way you are sitting or lift baby up on a nursing pillow.

It is very awkward at first but just think in a couple of months time you'll be an expert!

xxLadybirdxx Platinum member

09/08/2010 at 04:23

Another tip to try

If you are both getting stressed and upset, strip off your top half and strip him off for some skin to skin. It is a great way of relaxing your baby. Then take a deep breath and try again. I remember in the early days i had to squirt some milk into dd's mouth and push her mouth towards my boob until she latched on. Sometimes she would get herself in such a state, but some skin to skin really helped. Plus the snuggly cuddles are lovely!

Good luck xxx

linzimc88

09/08/2010 at 05:10

Thank you SO much for all your briliant replies! Have picked up some really good tips I will be trying them all out. I feel much more confident, it's nice to hear most struggle at first, it's not just me!!

As it happens last night after remaining very calm and confident and trying my ASS off to get him on, hubby dug out the nipple shields and hey presto - almost perfect feeding!

I know they aren't ideal... at first I wondered if it was a step backwards but he fed so well last night I couldn't care less. his latch isn't 100% yet but we'll work on that, he was getting loads of milk out and after watching a few video clips online about types of sucking, i was looking out for this and sure enough his sucking indicated he was getting a good mouth full each suck! He fed and slept so well last night so I'm feeling even better about continuing with the breast.

Thank you all again, I'll be sure to update you on our progress and no doubt have a tonne more questions to come!

XXX

Nicki-Jade Silver member

09/08/2010 at 07:23

I just wanted to say also, well done you for not giving up straight away and giving it a go.

I am breastfeeding my second and both where/are funny on my right side, not until my second have I discovered and realised its because basically my left nipple is huge, a lot bigger than my right, I feel like a bit of a freak but it does affect how fussy they can be but teaching them is the trick. I had to go back into hospital with Phoenix (now 8weeks old) due to a womb infection and when I was in the midwives helped loads as I was mainly feeding from the left. Tried the rugby hold which helped but basically I had to be quite firm with him and forcing him on when his mouth was open.

Tips for getting latched on, hold the back of the neck supporting his head and neck, tickle his nose or top lip with your nipple until bubba opens his mouth then get that nipple and areoli into his mouth and hold his head till he starts sucking. A tiny initial amount of pinching pain is normal at the initial latch on but this soon goes.

Latching on is no exact science or easy, it is hard work and I would say it can take the first 3 weeks at least to get it right, so try to stick with it, you are doing a fab job and it is so rewarding hearing them gulping it down.

Best of luck

NJ x

clairem25

09/08/2010 at 12:05

I had a C-Section on Thurs & have been struggling to get to grips with this breastfeeding malarkey. im so glad it is not just me- have been very tearful feeling rubbish. jack is so sleepy it is difficult to keep him latched on & he hardly wakes for a feed of his accord. But I need to keep reminding myself that he is only 4 days old. He only latches on for 10mins at most before falling asleep. I have been reassured that most c-section babies are sleepy for first few days but have still had doubts as to whether I have the confidence to persevere. Its hard work being a mummy xxx

MrsB27

15/08/2010 at 08:03

OMG...
I am so happy to have found this thread i actually cried proper tears... I feel so incompetent and inadequate because BF is the most natural thing in the world and i am finding it impossibly hard.

My baby is now 2 days old and is exactely the same... she is only getting the nipple in and then sucking strongly with her tongue immeadiately... its painful but i carry on because she IS getting something and is calm and satisfied, sleeps happily, isn't grissly etc but i can tell that i am soon going to be too sore... will trry the tips when i feed her next
thank you

MummyLintern2Be Platinum member

15/08/2010 at 12:48

god so glad to have found this but feel its a bit late for me

i have been struggling like mad exactly the same issues described by u linzimc .......... i am on my 4th day now and it has gone horribly wrong

have spent most of the day in tears as i just cant get him latched on at all now .. tried calling bf helpline & midwife but havent been able to get in touch with anybody

have now fed my little boy with formula on a bottle twice and feel like i have failed ....... think i have blown my chances of BF now as i havent got midwife here again until tomorrow and just cant get any further without help !

sorry if this sounds moany but i am at the end of my tether !

MrsB27

16/08/2010 at 12:56

linzimc88

16/08/2010 at 16:14

Just wanted to update that we're on day 9 now and afer buying some nipple shields feeding is going GREAT!! I know for a fact we'd have lasted only a couple of horrible stressed upset days longer if id not got the shields. I keep trying LO directky on the boob but he won't latch. So... nipple shields it is, and im fine with this. He had his first weigh in since birth yesterday and had gained 2.5oz and I honestly could have cried with relief and pride, I hope that doesn't sound like I'm blowing my own trumpet but it made the struggle worth while knowing I'd persevered and he is obviously thriving. We still have a lot to learn, as of yet ive not fed in public or around family/friends as i cant get the hang of getting covered up, still need boobs right out in order to feed efficiently. but we'll get there im sure. Those of you who are still finding it hard, it IS a bloody hard thing to do but you will get there!! thanks again for the advice and good luck to those still trying to get it right XX

MummyLintern2Be Platinum member

16/08/2010 at 18:25

Mummy L2B am on day 3 but feeling exactly same... haven't actually given her a bottle yet but feeding today has been so hard i have been in tears every time and now my nipples are bleeding.

i don't know what to do and feel so crap.

how are you doing now ? i went on to the bottle yesterday but also expressed to make sure milk still came

have been mix feeding today and am feeling much better

if you are in so much pain try a couple of bottle feeds promise you it wont ruin everything (which is what i thought yesterday ) . my little boy has had 6 bottle feeds and still gone back to breast this evening once i had had chance to calm down

have you got some lansinoh ? its the best nipple cream in the world xxx

MrsB27

17/08/2010 at 05:07

okay... yesterday was horrific and ended in a teary phonecall to my mum late at night, who came over calmed me and my husband and my howling baby.

we expressed and fed her that and she took it really well. i expressed through the night to feed her and it continued to go well. However as i got more tired, the amount i was able to express petered away, and i was just as stressed this morning.
I made another teary phone call, this time to the midwifery team and the lady told me to get some formula, feed her that, continue to express today but leave it 3 - 4 hours to allow myself to calm down and my boobies to refill and continue to express every few hours all day today.

Linzi which nipple shields are you using??? we bought some but my little one who is only really getting nipple still couldn't get any milk!! can you talk me through what you are using and how you are putting it on!!

she has had 1 formula feed this morning and hasn't turned green or lost the use of her arms or grown an extra head... so i don't feel as much of a failure as i did yest... i'm gonna keep trying but not beat myself up!

yes i have the lansinoh.... and am applying liberally!

linzimc88

17/08/2010 at 09:44

Oh hun sorry you're having such a hard time with it still, but don't feel bad for giving her formula, at least she's getting her tummy filled, she will be content

I'm using medela nipple shields. I literally just stick them over my nipples, the plastic sticks to your skin if you make sure they're slightly warm, they sit with the teat right over my nipple. That's about all I can explain I'm afraid... they are quite bit teats but Fin got the hang of them pretty quickly. They can be a bit fiddly and get knocked off quite easily but for us they've been a lifesaver.

I'm pleased you've got plenty of support around you in the form of your mum and the midwives. Try and relax and it's still early days, you will get there with a bit more perseverance. Good luck and hugs XX

MummyLintern2Be Platinum member

17/08/2010 at 11:07

midwife has been today and i now have mastitis .. very sore and very fed up today

midwife got jacob latched on but he is still messing around and have had a day of hell with him feeding on and off and crying inbetween ....... dont feel like my breast are filling up again properly .......

have lost the will to breastfeed at the moment and am now going to have a day off

MrsB27

17/08/2010 at 15:03

okay....
we had a visit from a midwifery care assisstant and she was marvellous. i don't think the nipple shields will help me, as when i tried them today she rejected them because she still couldn't get any milk.
she showed and talked to me about latching again and i realised my technique wasn't quite right... i am still committed to trying it.
I have given her 2 formula and 2 expressed breast milk bottles today and am doing 3 hour feeds, with 4 hours at night.
my sil has leant me the electronic pump that she used when she was bf my nephew, and that will make expressing more straightforward than the hours i was spending with manual.

i am going to try to latch her on at the start of every feed, and if she does then great but if not, then i will give her something else.

it is so frustrating... but we have had a better day, she has fed and been more awake, she has done wet and dirty nappies, helping to get rid of the the slight jaundice she has.... not feeling so horrific today... but am less optimistic about breast feeding continuing.

MummyLintern2Be Platinum member

17/08/2010 at 17:56

i feel completely the same now

havent breastfed now since this morning

going to try again with the first feed tomorrow but am starting to wonder why i am putting myself through all this !!

i never thought it would be this hard did you ........

MrsB27

18/08/2010 at 10:29

the MW care assisstant said to me...
"yes Breast milk is better for baby but if it is making mum feel emotionally and psychologically stressed then breastfeeding is not better for the baby"
we have fed today (since 10am feed) exclusively on expressed breast milk, and i am pleased, we'll probably do formula overnight as i won't have the energy to express to feed beyond 9pm...
we'll see... my little one is thriving and only becuase i have calmed down about what i am doing!