finding bf hard

any tips welcome

9 messages
13/06/2012 at 00:37
Hi ladies, Im a new mum, my baby girl is 10 days old and im really struggling with bf. During the day its not to bad, shes sort of feeding every hour for about 20/30minutes. But night nights are awful. Take tonight we camr upstairs at half 9 and at half 12 in the morning im still sat up with her! She feeds then drops off so i put her in her basket and within 5minutes shes stressing and wants more food. Im knackered. I dont want to pyut her on formuar but im struggling with the demand. Any advise? Cx
13/06/2012 at 08:29
Unfortunately new borns feed like that hunnie. It is demanding for the first few weeks until a pattern is established. I found it so hard with Ds1 that i went out and got formula and bottles when he was 3weeks. Rest as much as you can. It is very important in the early days and it is still very early for you. Don't do much just sit and feed. She Will be in a pattern before you know it. I know it sounds corny but sleep when baby does. Don't bother with chores they Will wait. In the end i Bf both my boys until 12m and yes it is hard to start but well worth it. Keep going hun you are doing a fab job. And one of the moat difficult jobs ever! Xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

13/06/2012 at 12:22

Hi,

I was the same with my daughter after the first week or two, part of my problem was that I wasn't producing enough milk for her, my midwife suggested getting a breast pump so I could see exactly what she was getting from me, I found it easier then as I knew why she was always hungry, I carried on with breast and bottle (both expressed and formular) for about 4 weeks when I developed mastitus. 

I felt very guilty for a long time that I hadn't been able to carry on feeding her myself - and a very judgaemental sister in law (now ex sister in law) didn't help matters, If it's something you really want to do then I think you have to try and push through the bad - I'm told it does get easier, also you need to think of you own needs as well and if you're not getting any sleep don't feel guilty about switching to bottles if it's what's best for you and baby.

I know it's not a positive story for you, and I'm not wanting to put you off at all. I'm 19 weeks pregnant again now and I will be trying again, hopefuly it'll work better for me this time around.

Good luck xx


 
13/06/2012 at 13:48

Stick with it! It is so hard in the beginning, my boy just used to spend what seemed like the whole evening eating! It's just what newborns do when breastfed. As above - just concentrate on feeding, forget about cleaning and entertaining, decent visitors will look after themselves! Sleep when she sleeps, whether it's day or night. It sounds like at least she's latching on ok, which is what we struggled with.

I found that at 4 weeks something just clicked and we never looked back, still breastfeeding at 9 months, and hope to until he's at least 1. Is she definately hungry when she wakes in the basket? Ryan was very windy, turned out it was because he's dairy intolerant and it was getting through to him in my milk. Anyway, he hated being lay on his back as it was so uncomfortable for him. Like your little one he'd drop of and sleep fine in my arms, or cuddled up on mine or hubby's chest, but when we lay him down on his back he'd get so upset. Until we sorted out his wind issues we used to have to cuddle him to sleep and sneak him so so gently into his crib and just hope he stayed asleep! He was always happier sleeping on his belly, which he did on the sofa in the day when i was sat right by him, but obviously not supposed to so was always on his back at night.

It's worth sticking with though as it's so easy and convenient when you get the hang of it, and it will get better!

xxx


 

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13/06/2012 at 14:06
Hi, as the other ladies say keep going if you can, it does get easier. I eventually realised I wasn't taking enough fluids on board. Make sure you drink plenty - water or milk and eat plant of calcium rich foods. I also found eating abt half an hour before a feed helped, even just small amounts. I always applied the rule that I'd I woke up and thought I can't do this anymore I would stop. I knew the stress I felt in the evenings and nights was make worse by lack of sleep so tried not to make a decision whilst feeling so tired. Even a few hours usually helped. I made it to 12 weeks before introducing formula. Lo was on a growth spurt, I had 4 guests staying for Christmas and 16 for Christmas day dinner. Hindsight tells me I was bloody mad and this def interfered with my bf. Say no to visitors when you feel like it and get plenty of rest. Good luck x x

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13/06/2012 at 16:37
Hi ladies

Thanks for all your kind words of support. I def dont want to give up breastfeeding, i want to give her the best start in life. I am going to battle thru it, like you have all said what im experiencing is normal and that makes how im feelung 10 times better.

Cx
13/06/2012 at 17:57

My little girl was the same and would feed all day and night if i let her. Even now at 8 &1/2 months she LOVES the boob! I have a little boy too so couldnt sleep through the day when she was asleep and the only thing that got us through it was co sleeping. I know its not for everyone but the midwife in hospital showed us how to do it and with her snuggled in feeding to her hearts content I slept. I still woke when she stirred and started routing but I didnt have to get up and was she was latched on I could drift back off to sleep and she wasnt disturbed by me moving her so slept for longer.

Also with us it wasnt always a question of hunger my little girl just used to like the comfort of BFing. Unfortunatley for me she point blank refused a dummy but that could work for you?

Good luck with it, im so glad I kept at it... my next worry is how im going to get her off it!

14/06/2012 at 23:10

hi ccarter, its so hard to believe that its normal in the beginning - it is - nature is making your LO feed, feed, feed to get your milk supply fully going and when you see her weight go up extremely quickly you'll realise its all doing what it should!

10 days is so early - your mik supply still wont be full established and nature is still working on that by making your baby demanding. Be reassured by wet nappies, lots of yellow poo and by weight gain (your HV should weigh around 2 weeks old and, while your bubba may well have lost in the first week this will probably have turned around).

I know how you feel, ive been there - my ds is 9 months and still bf. The comments from everyone else (who had largely bottle fed their babies) weren't helpful either. In the end i just decided i really want to do this, he's my first baby, there are worse things than sitting cuddleing him with the tv remote in hand. If the night was really bad, i would feed him and sleep in the day. My life was just him and we didnt have many visitors, those we did have had to accept that i was upstairs feeding more often than not. once i got my confidence i just thought sod it if anyone's embarassed and fed him downstairs!

nights are supposed to be worse - there is more prolactin in your milk at night in the very early days (the hormone that sends a message to your brain to say more milk needed for baby). There are various theories on why we have evolved this way but there is no doubt about it. the prolactin makes the baby go crazy and feed, feed feed! After the first 3 weeks or so this does start to iron out. Once you get more sleep at night, you dont care what happens in the day. for a long time my lO was 3 hourly at night, and hourly in the day and i could live with it that way round.

good luck and keep up the good work, it will get easier x

20/06/2012 at 19:57

Hi hun,

I felt exactly the same. I actually stopped breastfeeding when lo was 4 weeks but have since looked into what went wrong for me and it was just that I didn't know what was normal! Have a look for a local support group, look for advice on line, look into the biology of why your lo is doing what shes doing and it might make it feel more worth while! I wish i had! I felt like it was totally pointless at the time as she just never seemed to be satisfied but if i'd have known i'd have felt much better about the effort it took! The nhs should provide much more support than it does for new moms!

It must get easier because i've never met a bf mom who's said otherwise! I don't actually think it could get harder than those early weeks!

Good luck, you'll be through it before you know it, my lo's 15 months now, sob sob!

xx

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