would you be annoyed

Latest Posts | New Discussions | Hot Threads | Forum Topics
Help | Settings | Followed Threads
17 messages
cherrytomatoe Platinum member
21/11/2010 at 16:55
I know there has been a few of these type posts lately, but i need some opinons on whether or not you ladies would be annoyed, i feel my judgement is blurred by my anti-mil hormones i produce during pregnancy and after the birth lol!! (i got annoyed with mil with dd1 and i am again with dd2)
dd2 is 4 weeks old, dd1 (2 years 7 months) has taken to her so well she loves her hugs her tells her she loves her etc etc, me and oh have been so proud of her. So today i went to pil and mil asked dd1 'do you like or little sister or does she get on your nerves because she is too noisy!!??' dd1 replied she gets on my nerves becuse she is too noisy, to which mil fell about laughing and repeated to bil and fil. When we got home dd1 kept saying i don't like dd2 she is too noisy she is annoying, kept on saying it which broke my heart a little bit, i kept my mouth shut and explained she has to cry else mummy doesn't know she needs something she cannot talk like you and me.

I just feel annoyed because until dd1 spoke with mil she had nothing but excitment and love to show and has been very protective over dd2, i feel she put the idea in her head and encouraged it by laughing at her response. Maybe this was inevitable as novelty wore off for her.

Would you be annoyed with mil? or do you think this was bound to happen and my annoyance is exacerbated by my anti-mil hormones lol!!?
xxCTxx
wannababy Platinum member
21/11/2010 at 17:00
i would be annoyed too and tbh i would say something to your mil. explain to your dd1 that you are so proud of how she helps you look after the baby and how much it makes you happy when she kiises the baby ect and im sure dd1 will be back to her old self of being the proud protective big sister after all at your dd1s age they just want to please you x
piggypops Platinum member
21/11/2010 at 17:12
i would be cross and of told her there and then its unacceptable, its hard enough getting a child to bond with a sibling without anyone putting stupid ideas in thier heads stupid woman
http://lb3f.lilypie.com/XU3B.png

http://lb2f.lilypie.com/kj0Tp1.png

 

 

 

Sunflower81 Platinum member
21/11/2010 at 17:29
I would've been annoyed too - it;s so hard when you have a new baby, worrying about how the older one will take to it, that sort of comment is really not what you need. Yes I do think your MIL has put the idea in her head - the novelty possibly will wear off but I don't think your dd would have decided all by herself that she doesn't like the baby because she's noisy! My ds is 28 months and dd is 20 weeks - he's always been fab with her too, it upsets him when she cries but more because he worries about her bless him - as she's getting older the novelty of her being new is wearing off a bit, but he still loves her for bits and asks for her as soon as they get up - then he'll ignore her for a while while he gets on with playing!

I think you're right to explain to your dd that crying is the only way the baby has to communicate (and maybe that she cried too when she was a baby and no-one liked her any less for it), and that of course she still loves her - maybe you could put some nicer ideas in her head yourself. I think maybe the moment has gone for you to bring it up with your MIL, but I'd definitely tell her it's unhelpful if she brings it up again. I've had to tell my MIL a few times it's not actually funny to joke about giving the baby some of ds's chocolate - the joke element is over his head and I don't want him trying to feed her chocolate! He's learnt now though and tells people she only has 'boob milk' - maybe your dd could tell grandma how lovely the baby is!
KirstyMacey Platinum member
21/11/2010 at 17:29
dont be disheartened hun your dd1 is only saying this as she has heart your MIL say it so is just copying what she has said its the age she is. I would tell your MIL not to say stuff to dd1 as this is creating a negative approach to dd2 and its not what you want just put it polite so it dosent come accross as if your being bitchy although i would love to stick one into my PIL's sometimes my day will come and so will yours but it will piss her off more if your polite about it. Just carry on as you are with your daughters hun and encourage dd1 to be gentle and loving to baby and make out baby loves dd1. If she does it again then tell your hubby you wont go and see them anymore xx
Broodypants Platinum member
21/11/2010 at 17:32
I would be really annoyed too, what a stupid thing to say to your little girl! And then to fall about laughing, could she do any more to encourage her?!

DD1 was probably only repeating it though because of the reaction she got, I'm sure as she has been so loving that she doesn't really feel that way. I expect once she's said it a few times and not got the reaction that she got from mil she will soon forget about it.

I would have a word with mil though, she needs to understand that's just not on.

xx

[Modified by: Broodypants on November 21, 2010 09:33 PM]

x-plumduff-x Platinum member
22/11/2010 at 02:45
I think i'd be annoyed too, talk about insensitive! Don't have much more to add but I think you're right!
http://lb2f.lilypie.com/ti7bp1.png


http://lmtf.lilypie.com/abtgp1.png

-moonbean- Platinum member
22/11/2010 at 06:12
I would be annoyed too but it just shows lack of intelligence, my ils said to my ds1 in his first few days of school how 'wick' school was etc and laughed, its just sad the way some people get pleasure out of things like this, in fact my ds when he was about 3 was running round the room really fast to which he was told that was crap??!! to start with i dont speak to my kids in that way AT ALL and on teh other how lovely to be told that when he is proud of his wee self for running fast??
EmCB Platinum member
22/11/2010 at 07:34
I would be annoyed, because children always tend to repeat the last answer if you give them a choice of two things. That, added to the laughter and repetition of the supposed 'joke' has probably left your eldest thinking she's done the right thing and entertained everyone. If I were you I'd move on from it by continuing to praise her and encourage her to be as she was before with the baby, the more gleeful you are about her being lovely to her sister, the more she'll do that to please you hopefully.

Ignore your MIL, she sounds like she's interferring. x x x
If the other EmilyB reads this, can I have my username back please?
cherrytomatoe Platinum member
22/11/2010 at 07:45
thanks everyone for your replies, its nice to know i'm not being irrational which is usually the response i get from oh if i say i'm annoyed about something mil does/says, she also laughed at me bf in hospital !!
xxCTxx
EmCB Platinum member
22/11/2010 at 08:58
That's just weird - honestly, I know people can laugh when they're nervous or uncomfortable, but that's ridiculous!
If the other EmilyB reads this, can I have my username back please?
faithie Platinum member
22/11/2010 at 09:12
I feel so bad after reading this because I quite often ask an older child how they are finding having a baby in the house and if the baby crying bothers them at night. I have quite a few friends that had children in thier late teens and are having a second baby in thier 30s so thier 1st los are 12 or 13 so having a baby is a big upheaval. I suppose I just wanted them to know that I acknowledge how hard it can be for them. I know this is totally different to a toddler sibling but I hope I havent put negative thoughts in their heads.
-moonbean- Platinum member
22/11/2010 at 09:12
mez do what I do and show your oh the post, I did this once when my fil gave ds2 the inside of a tonics teacake at 10 weeks I was not impressed and although he did agree with me he thought I went on about it a bit so I put it on here and then showed him the responses, many of which indicated the use of physical violence if theors had done the same lmao he soon realised I wasn't overreacting, worked a treat x
kayssis Platinum member
22/11/2010 at 09:34
I would most definitely be annoyed! Although I wouldn't necessarily think that your dd1 actually means it, she's just repeating your (stupid) mil.

Faithie, I think it's completely different with much older children who understand and would appreciate you asking, opposed to a toddler who's having the idea put into their heads x
http://lb2f.lilypie.com/dbg2p1.png


http://lbdf.lilypie.com/aNupp1.png

cherrytomatoe Platinum member
23/11/2010 at 08:54
sorry for bumping this again, its just only just found time to reply - both girls asleep !!

firstly faithie - please dont feel bad its totally different to say it to older children, but toddlers are so impressionable and will repeat everything they hear. This is gonna sound incredibly childish but if a friend had said it to erin i wouldn't have minded as much, but mil knows how hard we have worked to make this huge change in erin's life go smoothly and comments like that just unravel (sp?) our hard work. so you shouldn't feel bad what you have said at all.

EmilyB - she laughed i think because bil was embarrassed but she tried to hide it and it was obvious and I was left with 4 people stood over my bed sniggering whilst i fed and it made me feel like shite! they told me when Erin had colic it was because i breast fed her and i should think about stopping.

Moonbean - I think we might possibly have the same il's :lol: . I think i read in another post that you had to stop them smoking in front of your lo. I too have been in this postion they will stop for a time and then start smoking and we have to remind them again they act like i'm such a freak for not wanting smoke around my children. I will deffo show oh this post so he realises i'm not overeacting.

thanks for replies everyone
xx
xxCTxx
-moonbean- Platinum member
23/11/2010 at 09:00
lol yes you read it right it was a nightmare with ds1 but since then due to the chamges in law etc etc re smoking out and about etc they have gradually come round to my way of thinking and are very respectful in that way, doesn;t stop them smoking in front of my nephew though??!! his parents dont give off so it must be ok for his lungs to be filled with smoke - suppose you cant say much when his own mum and dad do it!!! so sad honestly it is a human right to breath fresh air
-moonbean- Platinum member
23/11/2010 at 09:00
lol yes you read it right it was a nightmare with ds1 but since then due to the chamges in law etc etc re smoking out and about etc they have gradually come round to my way of thinking and are very respectful in that way, doesn;t stop them smoking in front of my nephew though??!! his parents dont give off so it must be ok for his lungs to be filled with smoke - suppose you cant say much when his own mum and dad do it!!! so sad honestly it is a human right to breath fresh air
Your say
Terms and Conditions | Code of Conduct
email image
17 messages
Forum Jump