Hiya

My little cheeky chops is 8 weeks old, and our HV visited for our 8 week check and asked how her routine was. I thought we had a routine, it might not be very good I guess but she said it wasn't a routine because cheeky chops doesn't go to bed till late.

I'm still at home with my parents after my relationship ended, so everyone goes to bed at about 11pm, at which time cheeky chops is still awake, so I turn down all the lights put the TV on low and give her a feed and within an hour shes fast asleep, I put her to bed, then she doesn't wake until 7/7:30am, then if we have nothing planned I feed her and put her back down and she sleeps till 10:30ish. Sometimes she wakes around 4:30am but not always.

I know she goes to bed rather late, but it suits me as I'm not a morning person, and it fits in around my life, shes not unhappy in the evenings, and if shes tired then she will sometimes fall asleep earlier. The HV seemed to think this is terrible and has given me loads of leaflets on getting her to sleep at 7pm, and waking at 7am, which I don't want. Am I beging a bad mother letting her stay up till then or is this a proper 'routine'? This is all so confusing, am I doing this right? Sorry its a bit of an essay guys.

Alex and Cheeky Chops :\?

Hi

Firstly no you are not a bad mother, you look after your baby, she's washed fed and loved so no you are not. As for health visitor i'm sorry but from my recent experience they tell you stuff you don't need to hear, my baby is 4wks old and was 1 month early, she has said he may have ezema and clicky hips, i would pay no attention if your baby is sleeping and is happy then stick with what you thinks best, at the end of the day YOU are her mother NOT the h/v !
I am a night person and my boy likes to sleep all day and wake all night nearly, i have tried routine but how do you keep a 4wk old awake throughout the day ??
I wuld try not to wory over this and go with your instinct ;\)

Take Care
Nikki

Thanks Nikki, it makes me feel better, I think sometimes you have to hear it from someone else. I know what you mean about keeping them awake, no matter how many stupid noises or faces I make if she wants to sleep she sleeps!!!

But thanks for that makes me feel better

Of course your in a routine!! it may not be one the H.V approves of but then she not getting up in the middle of the night cause you have put your little one to bed at 7!!!

I do the same thing with my boy he goes to bed between 10pm and 11pm and wakes at 6/6 30am then goes back to sleep till 9.30am - 10am this is our routine and then we get dressed.

i'm a nursery nurse and used to looking after other peoples children but we do it our way and he just gets on with it and i'm laid back with it all.

If your happy and your little one is happy tell the H.V where to get off

suziejayne

I would be very happy if my little girl followed your routine! She is horrible by about 6.30pm so she has her bath then and goes to bed at about 7.30 so she has a very convensional routine. The downside is that she wakes up at seven at the latest so I am always up first thing. From what I have read alot of people wake their babies for a dream feed at about eleven so that they sleep through (I think that if you follow Gina Fords routine then this is the done thing) and to me this is no different from what you are doing. If your little one is happy then what does it matter to anyone else? The only drawback I can see is if she is still going to bed that late when she starts school! :lol:
Kerry

When my HV asks how we are getting on when i go to clinic i just say if we are settling down or not that way no one can make comments about times of things happening. I too find that by putting Luke (also 8 weeks) to bed with us works well and by cluster feeding in the evening we have managed 2 nights of 6-7 hours of unbroken sleep which i am happy with as he breast fed

Hiya, my 8 week old sounds like he is the same routine as yours. We have tried getting to go to bed earlier, but we end up waking him up when we got to bed and he wouldn't settle again. I found my hv to be a nightmare, I am convinced my lo has reflux and have asked her for advice, but all she says is give him extra water etc, which he wont take! GPs aren't much better so am doing my own research on it!!!!! Another thing she keeps going on about is the shape of my lo head, saying how nice it is!! What's that all about! Mine sleeps from about 11.30 til about 7.30, and will then snooze again til next feed like yours. My plan is to try and pull the time he goes to sleep forward bit by bit when he goes into his own room. Don't listen to anything anyone else says about how you bring up your child, it's your life and your routine has to suit you. Keep your chin up and enjoy your evenings how you want them.xx

There you go you see everyone says the same thing...Bugger what anyone else tells you, unless you are being a TOTAL unfit mother then no one has the right to say you should be doing this or should be doing that, if its working and everyone's happy then bugger the H/Visitor ! Speaking of which I've got her coming today ! :evil:

hi,like you with my 1st i still lived at home with my parents and my son didn't go to bed until i did which was usually late and he slept in my double bed with me which my hv didn't like,but she ain't the one there when ya little one won't settle so i didn't care wot she thought.When we finally got our own place he was bout 14months and then he went into his own cot and i found as he got older and was more active during day he went to bed earlier of his own accord as he was tired and would stil sleep in in mornings.Now he's four and at school he goes to bed between 7 &8 and i get him up at half 7.So don't worry too much about years to come as the more they do during day the readier they are for bed.sarah.xXx

Hi Alex, so good to hear someone doing what I am doing. I read the Gina Ford book my neighbour lent me and I felt like such an unfit mother. A lot of the time when she wakes early I feed her in bed with me and we both go back off to sleep. I was worrying that my little girl would not get up for school in a few years but I also think that the more she does in the day the more sleep she will need...eventually!! She is nine months old and very happy so I must be doing something right...hopefully.

Ur routine sounds absolutly fine babes, its kinda similar to my lil 1s routine except mine sleeps longer as im not a morning person either lol. I give my 3month olds last bottle at 10pm and he goes down at 10.30 and sleeps all the way until 9-10am next morning!!! no-one knows best other than you! if your baby is fine sleeping and waking at that time then he must be content to do so!
pearl xxxx

I was trying Gina Fords regimented regime for the past 5 days to see if my boy would sleep longer at night but REfuse to start the day at 7am!! Never have been a morning person. well have given up because how do you force a baby (at 3weeks) to wake up? Today he manged a short morning nap as recommended, struggled to sleep for his lunchtime nap and then when he should 'be fully awake' he slept. In order to try and wake him I put on his coat we went around Tescos out in the cold wind (well gale)then hoovered and still he slept. We did eventually manage to wake him but it felt cruel and we had such sad facial expressions of torment (or torture LOL) and he still went down reasonably happy after his bath and cuddle.

I think a familys routine has to be what suits you not the HV. We are still finding ours.

Hi, your routine sounds absolutley fine. I have a daughter of 6 who wouldn't sleep more than three hours a night and the h/v was no good then telling me she should of been sleeping so many hours. i'm due in 4 weeks and if my little one sleeps likes yours i will be over the moon. You have to do what suits you and your baby it is still very early days so you have plenty of time before you have nursery or school to think of. Your doing a great job.