What are you age gaps and did you plan them that way?

Having decided we'd wait at least a year until ttc our third (and final), there's been a change in our financial circumstances which has seriously made us think about just going for it now. Money (for childcare) was the only thing holding us back really, but having been so sure for so long we'd be waiting a while I'm struggling to see the arguments for and against doing it now clearly!

I would feel a bit of prat getting pregnant AGAIN (for the third time with this employer) shortly after returning to work. I also wonder if it would just be ridiculously hard work with 3 under 3. And we only have a 3-bed atm, and always envisaged moving to a 4-bed before the children got too big, which we prob won't be able to afford in the next 3 years (regardless of whether we have another soon or not).

But on the other side of the coin I think it makes a lot of sense to get all the nappies, sleepless nights etc done and dusted, then I can hopefully get my figure back by 30-ish and still feel young for a few years! We love the small age gap between the two we already have - they're so close, and would love for the third to feel part of that closeness too.

Also - financially, the sooner we're done having children the sooner I can get back to work full-time and we can think about moving to a bigger house.

What do you think? Arguments for and against just popping them out and being done with it?!

i have a 14 month gap between DS1&2, an 18 month gap between DS2&3 and a 24 month gap between DS3 & DD1. I have found the 2yr gap to be the hardest tbh but that was mostly pg wise, it was so tiring & I had a few probs after and so having them go to someone while I was in hospital was hard for them as they didnt fully understand the situation.

when i just had the 3 boys there was 2yr 8 months from 1-3 and I honestly loved it. They are all so close & you are still in baby mode which was another thing i found a bit 'harder' this time around - going back to being a mum of a newborn.

My eldest 2 went to nursery together which was lovely too as it helped DS2 settle in. They all play with the same toys together and all sing songs with eachother, it really is fab having them close.

the downsides to having them all young is that some days can be exhusting and you literally dont sit down all day but the rest of the time its soooo rewarding when you are listening to them having their funny little conversations with eachother and giggling about the same things, its so sweet.

Not sure what car you drive but it could be that you need a larger one as we cant get 3 car seats in the back of a car, unless you did 2 in the back, one in the front & either you or hubby in the middle. Some cars i think fit 3 car seats in the back - we dont have a car so not 100% on that.

you gat all the nappies/sleepless night out of the way and day trips put are so much fun. Dinner time is hectic but so enjoyable, the older 2 share friends and i am sure Tyler will join in with them soon enough. Having them all close is so rewarding it really is.

my gosh i typed that so quickly it sounds really rambled and theres loads of spelling mistakes! lol sorry hun xx

Im so jealous :lol:

Well, I will be following this post with interest :lol:

RE the car issue - we have just ordered a new car due to this precise problem - we have a toyota Avensis estate but you CANNOT fit 3 car seats in the back nor can you fit anyone between 2 carseats in the back so we have done a trade in and we will be getting a VW touran which has LOADS of space for car seats.

Otherwise - thought you followed your heart :lol:

As you know I have 2.5 years between my 2 and it is a LOVELY age gap and both of them are GREAT with each other Jack worships MAx if he just walks int he room it makes him beam and Max dotes on Jack and loves helpign with him. But I would be more than happy with a smaller gap next time as I think I would have been ready sooner had I know what Max would be like 9 months down the road - if you know what I mean!

Do it do it do it!!! Purely to make me happy. I also think if you are tempted and weighing up pros and cons you should just go for it. There will always be pros and cons either way, and you WILL cope, as you have to! Do it!! :\)

HI PTB

As you know (since I mention it often enough..lol) I have five children.
The gap between 1 and 2 is 2 and a half years. That is a nice gap. The gap is then nearly 11 years between 2 and 3. When we had the 3rd we decided to try to give him a close sibling. I am so glad we did as the first 2 have flown the nest ( will be home for Xmas Wed night soooo excited) . Charlie (number 4) was born when Joseph ( number 3) was 17 months. The gap between Amelia (number 5 and last) is 2 and a half years again.

My fav is 2.6 years. Its a nice age as they are on their way to been PT, a bit independant and sleeping through the night etc.. When Charlie came along I won;t lie as I found it very hard. I found 2 nappies, 2 feeds, 2 very young children, very hard. Now though it reaps its rewards. They play together, fight together and share a room which is fab. Amelia just slotted in and as she is the girl she gets her own room! The boys got the biggest one tho!

Its all well and good looking at it the way you are. Yes, get back to work, figure back ( I am still working on that one) etc.. However,as they get older I can tell you with my hand on my heart it does not get easier. You will have 3 lots of reading, spellings, homework, 3 PE kits to sort, bags to pack, after school activities to run around after, 3 kids to pick up from various locations, 3 weekend activities like football, ballet etc.. I never believed people when they said it never gets 'easier'. It just changes. The demands change and so do your priorities.

I hope that made sense? Post on Large Families as us broody mares on there will all tell you to have another NOW !!! ha ha

I just wanted to give you an honest answer rather than an answer from the heart! Personally, If I was not 41 I would have gone for number 6 in a heartbeat. No question!!!!

d xxx

Forgot to add the most important bit... You will have 3 sets of cuddles, 3 little hearts who will love you more than anything in this world!!! its priceless really
d x

i remember once putting a post up because i was worried about not having enough time/love to give to them all and I remember our lovely DeeDee saying to me that you dont have to make room in your heart for another - your heart grows with every child that you have. Its so true and such a positive thing to keep in mind whether you are trying for number 2, 3, 4 or more!

Good luck with coming to a decision PTB xx

awww thanks Junie... that has made me all gooey inside.. ha ha

d xxx

Don't you dare pop out a 3rd before I've got my 2nd out Mrs!!!!!!!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I have a 3.5 year gap between 1 and 2 and just under 2 years between number 2 and 3 . Ill be honest and say although I wouldnt change him for the world I wish Id waited before having number 3 . It as a massive shock to me having coped so well with the other two , when he came along and he was a completly different baby. He was hard work and my middle daughter was and still is a baby , as in not mature for her age like her sister was. It pushed me over the edge . And played a massive part in my pnd imo .

Nolan was a big boy and fed her hour at least as well as through the night , Immie started waking several times a night as well and her behaviour got really bad. At times I didnt know where to turn.

Having said that you could have another one and he/she could be a dream to look after .

What I will say though is make sure you have a good support network round you because having 3 can get very adult lonely. I cant even pop to the shop on my own because no one will watch 3 at the same time x

I have 2yrs 3months between 1 and 2, 4.5yrs between 2 and 3 and 2.5yrs between 3 and 4