Hi,

  I am 28yrs old mom of 4 yr old daughter. Me and my husband don't want another baby. But lots of our friends suggest to have another soon as it is already 4 yrs gap and my daughter will feel happy if she has a sibling.

Please suggest me , whether our thought is wrong or is it good to have just one kid and give her everything we can.

Am not taking pills, but we generally go proper sex that is how we restrict. 

I also want to know I still have tummy fat , how to avoid that. I am regularly going to gym . Hopefully I will be relieved from the same. If any suggestions please let me know.

Thanks 

I am a teacher and I can honestly say that provided a child has lots of opportunities to socialise with other children and learn to play and share, there is no need to provide the child with a sibling if you do not want another baby. It is your choice and your friends should really respect that.

hi sonu, you and your husband definately have the deciding vote on this - it will be your blood sweat and tears, your hard work, and your lives that will change. Every baby is extremely hard work - and is a wonderful, life enhancing miracle too - but its your choice whether to embark on all that again or not.

I see that its nice for a child to have a sibling but this isnt more important than anything else. and there is also the argument at this point that with at least 5 years between your child and any other possible baby they wont really be playmates in the sense that your friends probably anticipate.

I think if you've made that decision though it might be an idea to use contraception - as probably, sooner or later it will happen to you. Maybe leaving it to fate is a gamble that might take the decision from you but really having a child is the most massive thing there is, better to have fully made that decision together.

There are positives with having one child - like you said she will be your focus and you will give her everything you have. You dont have to apologise for that.x

Hi There

I agree with both of the above. Its your decision and you shouldnt feel pressurised by your friends. I have a little boy who is 7 months and I always imagined having more children one day but after not enjoying the pregnancy and a particually difficult birth I am not sure I want anymore. I love my son so much and want to give him everything, at the same time I have a sister who I am extremely close to and I would like him to experience that one day. Trust your instincts. Your daughter will be no less loved or deprived if she doesnt have a sibling.

Hope it all works out for you

x

Thanks all for your quick and valuable responses. @ Glitterbug & Danilou

We both are quite clear about not having another one as such. Well don't know what god decides. May be it might change after few months. But as you say, am getting big pressure from friends, family. So when I discuss about this with my husband, he is also lil confused as we both have siblings .

@Alfie - Am not using contraceptive as such and not planning to take . Because we don't really penetrate , so guess less chance to conceive. Sorry to be so open.

Thanks to all for your help!!

Only you & your OH can truly know what is the 'right' choice here.  As for the age gap between siblings again that is a personal choice.  I have 21mths between my 2girls whilst my sister has a 7yr gap between my niece & nephew.   It's what works for you as a family, there is no right or wrong answer as to how many children to have & when to have them, only you can know what you are comfortable with.

Thanks again..I know even my sister has 2 kids they have 7 .5 yrs gap..Anyways thanks for your help