My dd is 20 weeks and has had a dummy from 3 weeks - because she'd spend all evening crying unless she was being fed, then being sick, so I wondered whether she really was hungry or just needed to suck and the dummy helped clarify this for me. I'm not really a dummy fan, but I do think they serve a purpose.
I'm a bit concerned that we're getting more and more dependent on the dummy - it was meant to be just to help her settle sometimes, but I find we're using it more and more during the day - I have to admit I do sometimes go for it as the quickest option of comforting her when I'm trying to sort my 2 year old son out too - although I said I'd never be the sort of mother to use it as a comforter. When she first had it, she didn't have it overnight, but now she does - I put her down and she cries, put the dummy in and she settles straight down and goes to sleep - BUT, recently she's started dropping it during the night and waking and crying for it to be put back in, it was 7 times the night before last and probably 10 times the night before. I know having a baby means sleepless nights, so I'm not just complaining about lack of sleep - but I think this can be avoided, if she needed feeding obviously I wouldn't mind at all 9but she hasn't fed during the night since 8 weeks) - and I don't think that sort of unsettled sleep can be very good for her.
I've read about night time 'dummy runs; on here before, so wondered if anyone had any advice on how to tackle it? Do I need to go cold turkey with the dummy? And if so how do I settle her to sleep? I don't want to cuddle her to sleep as I got into the habit of that with ds as a quick fix when he started waking in the night again, and it got to the point where he had to be cuddled back to sleep for an hour whenever he stirred and none of us got any sleep! If the dummy isn't going to be used for sleep time any more, I probably should get rid all together, as I don't want her to need it when she's awake and happy/playing either - it should only be a comforter imo, not a habit..Then again, it does seem to be of some help with teething for her. Has anyone else successfully got rid of the dummy at this age?

Just to add, ds never had a dummy, he sucks his thumb - which was fine as a baby and he could find it himself in the night, but now I think if he'd had a dummy I could've taken it away, whereas now at 28 months I;m constantly reminding him his thumb is only for bedtime - he still falls asleep with it and I've no idea how to stop that so I'm just working on it only being for bedtime at the moment. On the other hand, if he still has that comfort to go to sleep at 28 months, am I being really mean wanting to take dd's comfort away from her now at less than 5 months? But is it really a comfort if it's ultimately disturbing her sleep?

I'd appreciate any advice/opinions/experiences......Thanks

Short of gaffa tape - you have 2 main choices!

One - go cold turkey, have a few AWFUL nights, but teach your LO to settle on his own. Be careful not to replace the dummy with something else though, your aiming to get him to fall asleep on his own with no prompts (so no rocking him to sleep or anything!) this might be easier if you wait a couple of months - and then you can consider the dreaded controlled crying if all else fails.

Two - ride it out, in a few weeks he he should be able to replace the dummy himself. Althogh this will be easier if you leave him a nightlight, and put about 100 (well maybe 10!) dummies in there with him (more chance of him finding one himself). The trouble with this though, is that you are delaying the inevitable time when you will have to take the dummy away, and we still have times when we need to go in (Abby is 18 months) and replace the dodie! I think i'll waith another year though - until she's old enough to understand about the dummy fairy!

Nx

lol was laughing at the idea of dd being surrounded by 100s of dummies in bed lol

We went cold turkey at around 5 months and taught LO to self settle using a combo of PUPD and CC. He was sleeping through by the third night! xx

Hey, I had this problem too.
My DD started having a dummy when she was a few weeks old (when I stopped breastfeeding), by 2 months old she had stopped having any night feeds, but would wake pretty much every half an hour because she had dropped her dummy. After a month of having hardly any sleep at night, we decided to go cold turkey. OH had the week off work, so I knew that would be the best time, as he'd be able to get up in the night with me.
For the first few days and nights (she needed help with naps too) we would rock and cuddle her to sleep, just to get her used to NOT having the dummy, after a few days, we would put her down in her cot while she was awake, and if she cried, wait 5 minutes, go in, no talking, no eye contact, just stroke her head for a minute, and then leave, if she still cried, wait 10 minutes, then go in and stroke her head again. It wouldn't take more than half an hour of this, and the time reduced a little every day.
Some mothers would call me cruel for putting my baby through this, but she's now a brilliant sleeper, and she's much happier now that she gets a proper night sleep (not too mention, I'm extremely pleased too!).

I really think going cold turkey is the only way if your baby/toddler/child becomes too attached to a dummy. But that's only my opinion.
Go with what you're comfortable with. Honestly, getting rid of the dummy was the hardest week of my life, because it was heartbreaking hearing her cry like that, when I knew I had the power to give her what she wanted.
xxx

my niece used to not be able to sleep unless she had a dummy in her mouth and one in each hand so she could put one in her mouth if that one fell out!

Good luck

hun im having the same probelm and my daughter is almost 8 months old, she can put ehr dummy in herself during the day (only just this mornt so you might have a long wait if lo is only 20 weeks) but at night is awful, she cant find it and just crys, it only takes a second to give it to her but im shattered, last night was a good night and she was up 3 times for it, normally its about 5-6 times but a nighmare night is 10 times+. I never gave dd1 a dummy but dd2 needed it liek yours did and im pregnant with no3 and i will not be giving a dummy again, its not worth the hassle in the long run. Sorry ive no advice but i hope it gets beter for you, im just holding unto the hope that she will soon be fit to put it into her own mouth at night too. x

hi hun,

I had a similar problem at night with my dd losing her dummy or throwing it out the cot. She was teething so i didn't want to go cold turkey. So i bought a sleepytot bunny which has velcro paws to attach four dummies to. It's been a godsend as dd could find her dummy in the night. I am planning to remove the dummies when she is a bit older and leave her with the bunny.

Hth x

hon,
im with sammyham and cath on this one.
if you do decide to go cold turkey then pu/pd or cc or a bit of both will work.
my ds wouldnt take a dummy, i tried so much but he wouldnt.
when he was 14 weeks and under he would self settle just fine for his naps and bed time. this all changed around week 14 when he became impossible to settle so by week 18 i had lost the will and i bit the bullet and did mostly pu/pd along with some cc. it worked a treat, only took three days to perfect and now he settles so well for his naps and at bedtime. i wont say that he never wakes in the night, but when he does its always hunger (as always totally different times), he drinks his milk and settles back down. my dd always fell asleep on the bottle however ds doesnt even do this. i honestly cant believe it.
i wont say that there wasnt crying and that it wasnt hard to do but it was easier than i expected.
good luck flower i hope it gets easier and you finally get some rest
xx

I tried going cold turkey on this but gave in when he got a chest infection, then we discovered his waking was more to do with the milk allergy and reflux - the dummy just helped him calm down

now that DS is so much better though (he's 23wks old) i have taken it away again. I started by just not giving it to him when he was awake. if he got upset i would distract him or give him a teething toy to bite (he can hold these so i dont mind)
then once he stopped having it while awake i tried not giving it to him at his first morning nap as he is normally still a bit sleepy. first time he went down really easily but 10 days later he's regressed a bit. once we conquered the morning nap i stopped giving it to him at night and have now moved on to the lunchtime nap (always the worst for some reason)

if he needs help going to sleep here's what i do:

1) while carrying to his cot: sing Hush Little Baby (so he knows he's supposed to be going to sleep)

2) put him in his cot and turn out the lights - on a good day, if he doesn't cry then i leave the room and he will probably toss and turn for 10mins before falling asleep

3) if he cries when i turn out the lights or as soon as i leave the room then i tap him firmly on the back in a rhythmic way - i think the repetition and noise drowns out his other senses a bit like whwite noise - plus it distracts him from crying
normally i start out tapping firmly and fast then as he calms down i slow down the tapping and make it more gentle until i just have my hand resting on his back
but i always try to stop before he falls asleep

4) if he wakes during the night i try the tapping but if he wont go down then i pick him up until he stops crying then sing the same lullaby and put him down


NB: if she sleeps on her back you can pat her chest or turn her on to her side to pat her back

Have you tried one of those taggie blankets? We had one for Lily but she wasn't that keen, however SIL used one for both of her girls really well. Lily prefered a muslin cloth and she still snuggles with it now when she goes to bed. She would spit the dummy out if we tried to give her one so we stopped. We also found gently stroking her face and playing a lightshow helped her.

xx

Really interesting to read this as DS, nearly 7 months, still has a dummy and it seems to be increasingly in his mouth day and night! He is teething at the mo, and cut his first tooth on Sunday so won't be removing it yet, but nice to know others have gone through it. I have to say it was a Godsend in the early weeks, as he suffers from reflux and I think the sucking really helped sooth him, but I will try my best not to give one with number 2 as I just hate it now! Howvever, needs must, and there is still something quite cute about seeing him sucking it really hard when he's upset!

Thanks for the advice ladies - I'm still a bit torn as to what I want to do. I'm thinking of riding it out for a bit longer and seeing how it goes, last night I had to get up three times, but all between 5-5.30, so I didn't think that was too bad and maybe if I'd done a bit more to settle her the first time she might have settled better, if that makes sense.
I do think cutting out the dummy while awake would be a good start - I'm annoyed with myself for letting her have it then, but it's not that easy to distract her when I'm trying to sort ds out too - and if they're both crying/whinging(ds!) at once I'm guilty of going for the quickest option (the dummy!) with her.
I've started giving her a muslin (rather than a special blanket in the hope she won't get too attached to one particular item), but she's not sure what to do with it yet.
I'll definitely be saving these replies though, as like you say, if I don't tackle it now I'll have to do it - I always had in my head I want her off the dummy by the time she's 1, but not long after 6 months would be preferable.

And we've just got ds's old lightshow out of the loft to try!

Lily wasn't sure what to do with the muslin at first. She would just hold it and play with it- it was a tiny one we got free with a basket of stuff from huggies. I cut one of the big ones into four so I had 'spares' and alternated between them. Once she got bigger she was happy to have the big muslins and wasn't fussy about the colour! Any would do (even now!)

Hopefully the light show will work too - good luck!