hi all..

i really need some help. ever since i had my little girl 2 and a half months ago ive been feeling really sad. i cry all the time. i feel so sad and ashamed saying this but i dont feel happy with her. i dont believe im saying this as i suffered for 15 months to have her. i never wanted anything other than being pregnant and now i feel so lost. i miss my old life. i dont think i even bonded with her.

my dh isnt helping me either. he says hes sick of me being depressed and crying all the time.no one helps me with the baby and my mom's not around to help.

im so tired of feeling sad and depressed all the time but i dont see any way out. alot of my friends have babies the same age as mine and they always talk about how happy and totally in love they are with their babies and i just cant relate. they leave me feeling even more guilty. i feel like such a failure that i cant even be a good mother. i do everything for my baby but i just cant seem to be happy with her.i find myself wishing those days away and i cant imagine how people can go on to have more children??

my dh doesnt want me to take any medication as he thinks it will pass and thats why women go ahead and have more babies.but i just cant see any way out.and honestly i dont think any medication would help.maybe im not meant to be a mother and thats why i couldnt get pregnant except when i took those infertility drugs.

i really feel like a failure and im so ashamed with myself..but i can see no way out...

im sorry if this upsets anyone..but i cant believe that after everything ive gone through to get pregnant...this is what i feel now that my baby is here

Hi, how soon after the birth did you start feeling like this?

i think it was a week after giving birth and it was getting worse by time

Do you have an e-mail address at all? It would be great to chat to someone who is having similar problems. I feel so alone and guilty

yes sure,
diosmincrystal@gmail.com
just mail me anytime you'd like to chat

hi i just wanted to say that i think ur really brave talking about ur feelings like this as i no that u might feel if you dont say it out loud then it isnt real. Talking things through with someone is such a big weight off - if u let things build up in ur mind u might be heading for a breakdown. Even try writing ur feelings down, reading over it and then burning it, not showing it to anyone. This has helped me out in the past.

As for your dh, his lack of support only makes things worse. It might just be that he doesn't know how to deal with pnd and thinks that if u dont get medication then it's not actually real.

I would urge you to c ur doc or hv with or without ur dh support. U need help so u can start to enjoy ur baby. Get help now because ur never going to get this precious time with ur baby again.

Ps. As long as ur lo is safe, warm and fed, then ur being a good mum dont beat urself up.

let me know how u get on. u can email me too if ud like iv suffered depression in the past and my lo is 9 weeks now and i feel like u too sometimes. anderson_kath67@hotmail.com

Hi
It was really sad to read your post as you sound so lonely. There are so many of us, me included, who can relate to those feelings. Me and my man spent ages trying to get pregnant and all the magazines always paint this rosey picture of newborn babies and new mothers and it is such an adjustment. You really must talk to your mw or doctor - they are there to help you and your baby. Your babies needs are very basic at the moment, food, warmth and you can supply that in bundles whilst you nurse yourself. Please do not put too much pressure on yourself to be a perfect mum - we all learn as we go along and it is a massive change to get used to. Things will get easier - I didnt acknowledge my PND and it took me 3 years and late counselling to sort myself out and I am now 33 weeks pregnant with our second child. ( 6years after our first )
If you ever want to talk or ofload then just type away - the wonderful thing about this website is that you dont get judged - just cared for and supported. Best wishes to you.