I am really at my wits end and i dont know what to do, my 14 yr dd is stealing from us. she has taken money and my oh lost his mobile and it has turned up in her bag! she isent a girl to be out and about with her mates and she works hard in school i just dont understand why she is doing this. she tells lies to her friends really stupid ones like how she goes horseriding and ice skating when she doesent. we have confronted her about the money and she said she doesent know why she does it i thought it would end with that but then i found the phone i am in tears and i dont have a clue where to start. i thought we were close but now i feel like i dont know her.

Hi rubysmum, dont really have any advice for you but didnt want to read and run, I am going through very similar with my son, he will be 13 in a few months and although he hasnt been stealing, his attitude is awful, he has stopped working hard at school and is constantly in trouble, I am forever getting bad news slips from his school and his grades are lower now than they were when he was at primary school, I too am at my wits end and dont know what to do, we have considered changing schools but I really dont know if that would work.

You are not alone and although I cant really help, if you ever want a rant to someone who is going through the same kind of things, I am here xx

Thanks hayey i have not mentioned the phone yet but i cant leave it much longer. i just dont know what to say to her. i was thinking about going to the gp and talkng to someone there about it as there are other things going on with, she hides food, i often find wrappers and things down the back of her bed, she eats sweets and stuff secretly, you just dont know what is real and what is not with her. she is such a lovely girl though really bright and loving which makes this so much harder xxx

I know what you mean, Jake is such a loving and caring boy, he has always given me a kiss goodbye when he goes out, even in front of his friends, he adores his younger brother and sisters and he really is lovely but then today I get an e-mail from the school to say he has been chucked out of his lesson for shouting and being warned 3 times to stop and he hasnt, then telling another teacher to f off!

I wondered whether he made need someone to speak to as my hubby was diagnosed with a brain tumour last year, and although thankfully everything is ok with him at the moment as the tumour is benign, I do wonder what sort of effect it has had on him. x

its hard but i know how it is sometimes, i thought my 16yr old was an absoulute cow untill i was losing the baby before christmas ,she was an absolute rock of goodness, still was a teen but she tried to undertsand and i really appreciated that. they can surprise you all of a sudden.they react to situations via the hormones nowadays i just put my fingers in my ears and sing tra la tra la,at least my blood preasure drops!!!

Im haveing the same trouble to with my 14yr daughter, i love her to bits but hate the person she is at the moment. She is on her last warning at school which is so sad as she is so bright for all the trouble she gets in at school she is not behind with her work. Unfortunately she has too move school as the options she wants are not available in the part of the school she is in cos of her bad behaviour. She has an awful attitude and is a very angry girl, ive takening her to the doctors aboth this behavoir as he father suffers from a mental disorder and if my daughter is suffering from bi-polar i want it sorting out sooner rather than later but they dont seem interested. I dont no if its bad behavoiur or something more but i worry so much about her. she is smoking, drinking and goes from my house and her dads so its hard too keep a constant eye on her.
Im expecting my forth child in november and i keep telling her i need her to calm down and start being the lovely girl that she was 2 years ago. i do see that girl somethimes but not enough. hopefully its a phase she is going through.

It must be so hard for you its horrible not knowing what to do next and upsetting im going through the same thing so i know what it feels like because you always want to do what best for your children

kirsty x