I'm so sorry to hear what you and your family have been through, I really hope the funeral has gone well today and that you are getting the support you need. You have a beautiful angel looking over you now who will always be alive in your heart. xxx

Well.....Today was so so so so SAD seeing my little princesses coffin was just so upsetting its was so tiny it even looked so small when my oh carried her in,in his arms. The service was lovely we had 2 poems read that we chose and we also had a piece that we had written that was also said, we lite a candle for Daisy and had some prayers. I kissed her coffin and told her how much i love her :cry::cry:. And at the end we had leona lewis 'run' playing i didnt want to leave when it was all finished,There wasnt one moment where i had a dry eye,even sitting here now i have tears running down my face.......WHY is life so UNFAIR!!!! it just hurts so so much!!
xx Kat xx
Thank-you every-one for your support and thank-you all for your thoughts today and to those of you who lite a candle for our princess Thanks again

Kat
Just wanted to say that I have been thinking of you and how strong you have been to get through the funeral xxxxxxx

Sending you love and hugs, little darling is safe and sound in heaven.

Oh that sounds so sad my love to you and your hubby and I wish your little angel a safe journey to heaven. All my love to you and I hope that you can look to the future now with some hope. Daisy will never leave you as long as she is in your heart. You may have a difficult journey yourself coping over the next year it too me so much time to be able to get through a day without crying when we lost Gabriel. I am sending you all the stregnth I can.

hello everyone, Thanks for all your kind replys and thoughts.
As hard as things still are its all starting to get a little bit easier to talk about and deal with....i have realised now that nothing is going to bring Daisy back so i have got to try and get on with life now....there isnt a day that goes by when i dont think about her and she will always have a place in my heart and will be missed so much by her mummy and daddy!! xx

Libranaster- im so sorry for your lose, did you have a little funeral for Gabriel? i have been told by quite a few people that the first year is always the hardest as you said....my aunt had a stillborn 18 yrs ago and she has been a great help as hard as it all still is for her.
did i read on another post that you are expect...thats great news if you are how far gone are you? xx

Hey Kat

Ive just read your story and my eyes filled with tears, life is so unfair sometimes, she will always be in your hearts forever, my thoughts are with you and your family
Take care
Jennie xx

No we didn't have a funeral we had him sent off for tests to find out what happened and also for use my the medical students for learning puposes. When they are finished they cremate them for you. I kind of wish I had of now but I then I think about my mind set at the time and I could never have handled a funeral.

They never found a reason why he died but I put it down to it was just too soon for him.

I'm so sorry to read your story, I think that you are a very, very brave lady and im sure your little girl is looking down at you from heaven thinking what a lovely mummy and daddy she has. My thoughts are with you xvx

there is normally no reason behind it all which is why we all have that unanswered question..WHY..and thats why it HURTS so much because there is no reason and maybe if there was it would be a little bit easier to deal with.
we picked up Daisy's ashes in the week so she is safe and sound at home with her mummy and daddy now just where she should be...just not in flesh like she should be!!!
Thank you all so much for your thoughts...as for me being brave i cant believe i have done it all sometimes i have to slap my self as i think im still pregnant...its like it was all just a VERY BAD dream...i still cry alot thou but it will get better i no it will its all still early days.
xx Kat xx

Just read your story and I'm in tears and so so sorry for your loss.

xxxxxx

Hi Kat,
First of all i want to say sorry for your loss and wish you all my love. I unfortunatly know what your going through. when i was pregnant with my first baby boy i had a care free and wonderful pregnancy but the birth was not so easy. my waters broke early and i received very poor care. my baby became distressed and his heartbeat dropped but the midwife didnt notice. by the time action was taken it was too late. he was born dead but after 15 mins putting a breathin tube down they managed to get him going again. so 3 weeks in intensive care followed until they said nothin could be done as his brain was so badly damaged he could not swallow or eat. he was taken off the equipment and we could take him home so he could die knowing we were with him. he lived anothe 5 days at home with us and died christmas eve. i know its different circumstances but its still heartbreaking. your not just losing a child its a lifetime of memories that you would have had together.
I have since had another child but like you said not a replacement. and it is difficult to go through pregnancy again with that worry on your mind but i promise you its worth it. and as time goes on and everyone around you moves on it doesnt get easier you just get used to living with the pain and you never forget, ever.
I never normally talk on these things but your story encouraged me to do so, in fact i havent really spoke in depth about my little boy so i thank you for helping me do so.
and i have this poem on my sons headstone i hope it helps you,

god saw you getting tired
and a cure was not to be
so he wrapped his arms around you
and whispered "come to me"
with teary eyes we watched you
and saw you pass away
although we loved you dearly
we could not make you stay
a golden heart stopped beating
and little hands at rest
god took your heart to prove to us
he only takes the best.

Hi mummy bear,
Really sorry for your loss...did you give him a name if you dont mind me asking?wow you sound so brave it must of been so hard taking your little man home to die...my heart goes out to you and your partner!! How long did you leave it till you had another baby?
You wish so much for your children and like you said its a life time of memories that have been taking away from us!! i really admire your pma did they give you extra scans and appointments with your next pregnancy? sorry for all the questions!!
I love the poem!! i have posted one in this forum to i have so many though i could post them all day!!
take care kat xx

Oscar. Yeah i had extra scans and had to have a c section cuz oscar was 10lb 1 and my second Frazer was 10lb 7. to be honest after having oscar we both decided to just let nature take its course and see what happened 3 month later i was pregnant. at the time i got a lot of nasty comments from people who wernt really friends but now i realise they didnt really understand or care so i ignored them.
all the best to youx

Hi Kat1986,

Hope you dont mind me posting on here to you, your story had me in tears for you and for my son, although i havent lost a child it reminded me how i nearly did. I gave birth to twins a boy & girl in november last year, they were born healthy everything ok. On the 12th jan this year i took Zach to the docs as he had a bad cough and cold, the doc said his chest was clear and he will be ok in 7 - 10 days. Well two days later at 3.30am i woke up and realised he'd not woken me or cried for his bottle so i went to check on him, the room was dark but just enough light to see him and i realised he was still in the exact position i'd left him in 4hrs earlier he hadnt even got his hands out from under the blankets so i touched him and he was cold, well you can imagine what my first thought was so i picked him up and could hear him breathin thank god but it was very shallow. Anyway he was taken by ambulance to hospital where he stopped breathing 3 times, so they sedated him and put a breathing tube down his throut and transferred him to icu at alder hey, they diagnosed broncitis and influenza, he couldent breathe as his lungs had filled with mucas. He spent 12 days in hospital, but now is home and healthy. I wanted to say how sorry i am for your loss, i knew how bad i felt that morning when i found him and when they were working on him at the hospital and didnt know what was wrong with him, i didnt know if he was going to live or die i felt sick and couldent stop crying, i had a tiny look into what you must be going through, but overall i cant imagine it. I can honestly say it was the worse time of my whole life nothing else compares to it. All i can say is just keep taking one day at a time, and good luck with your next pregnancy,Yvonne xx

Hi mummy bear,
what great weights both your boys have been i cant believe that!!! sorry for the questions again...but how far gone was you when your waters went with Oscar? did they tell you that there would be a chance of it happening in your next pregnancy or anything? i still havent had my 6 week check yet and these are some of questions that im going to ask my consultant when i finally get my appointment through. some of my friends have told me that they dont think we should try again, but most of them have said that its really good idea to try again, but to be honest i dont really care what other people think because unless you have been through it you wont no how you feel,,,you need to able to make your own mind up....sorry again to ask you all these questions...you dont have to reply if you find it hard to talk about...thank you so much you have been a great help kat x

Hi Yvonne,
what a horrible time you have been through...you must of had so many thoughts going through your mind...i would of freaked if i went into the room and noticed my baby hadnt moved i bet you ran to cot didnt you....i really hope that Zach stays well and doesnt get a chest infection again!!!! did you find it hard having one baby at home healthy and one in hospital ill?im so pleased Zach is well and healthy again and back at home with mummy. kat xx

My god the stories here are just so awful and I must agree with you kat_1986 people do not understand unless they have lost a child. Seeing your precious baby dead like that I always have likened to someone putting my heart on a stick and running around the room with it and still that is not a adiquate description.

I think if you want another baby to lighten your life after this big loss then I support you if no one else. I have two children now as I mentioned and they are so lovely and am now pregnant with my third. I know no one will really be happy for me but after loosing a baby before having my two I just got such a glimpse into the value of human life and having babies in our lives and I would do anything for my kids. My kids are 4 and 5 years old now and both go to school and I feel this is a time in my life where I would really have the time and spirit to take care of another baby though this will be my last no matter how it turns out just because I think ya gotta stop giving birth at some point right.

I think all the women here are very brave, I lost Gabriel quite early and he was still so so small but to loose a baby that is full term it is just unimaginably sad to me. Still I get a great sense of hope from this post and I believe all the little ones mentioned here who have passed on are in a good place and well looked after.

kat_1986 I have a sense about these things sometimes I don't know why but I get a strong feeling you will be inviting another little girl into your life soon.

Dont worry bout the questions i dont mind. I was full term 39 weeks. So thats why i had c section a week early second time round. You will find that hospital staff will treat you like royality. Its almost a bit too much if you no what i mean. And your right to ignore people who judge you. The sad fact is things like this happening make you realise who real friends are. I only have contact with a few of mine now, the rest ignored me because it was too hard for them to talk to me, which is really stupid in comparison to what you have been thru. I am currently taking the hospital to question to court so dont know if thats why they really looked after me at the other hospital but if you say your concerned they will take extra care and more scans. But i didnt believe i was having a baby second time round i didnt let myself get excited in fact i spent more time wondering about if he died rather than lived but it was fine and a relief when he was born. All i could shout when i heard him cry was " he's alive he's alive " . I sounded like frankenstein! But feel free if you want to ask me anythin else x

To yvonne, im firstly so glad your little boy got better its a happy ending after a terrible time and its good that now and then nice things happen. But i agree they is nothing more heart destroyin then waking up to find your baby cold and dead. I admit i knew it would happen and he would not live long but it didnt prepare me. I think a part of myself died that day and even after having another child it will not fill that big black empty void. I stil see his little pale face and blue lips. Sometimes when my second son Frazer is asleep because he looks so much like his brother i think he is dead so i rush over and shake him but he usually screams at me. the sight never goes away and i bet if you close your eyes you can stil see it too but this may sound strange but im just so happy that you managed to save him and you did. Yeah the hospital got him better but if you never woke up he would be up there with my little boy. You managed to save you little boy but unfortunately its something i could never have done. So your treasure him cuz he's a lucky lad. X x

I used to do that with my daughter mummy_bear after you loose one baby you do just expect to loose another one and if she didn't wake up I would just expect her to be dead and sometimes i did used to wake her up to make sure she was alive. Poor little thing she has had alot to put up with.