Hi ladies,
I am currently 29+2 with my first baby and planning on a home waterbirth. I have raised this with my mw who is 100% behind me, I wish I could say the same for hubby though, he is supportive of my decision but he is anxious about it. Im hoping that I can help him feel more comfortable about it by showing him various sites that discuss it and the benefits surrounding it! My mw said she will come to our house at about 36 weeks to discuss everything and basically present the reasons for why we may not want a homebirth. I have yet to order the pool but I have ordered the natal hypnotherapy CDs which are meant to be very good for relaxation.

Does anyone have any homebirth stories they would like to share, or tips/advice for it? I have received quite a lot of controversy about this, particularly from my in-laws!

Thanks

Becky

x

Hiya, i dont have any experience really as i'm in the same position as you, albeit 23+4, but i am planning on having a home waterbirth. My midwife has been brilliant, but like you, i have experienced a bit of resistance from family (mainly my dad). I think you just have to go with what suits you. I've got around the problem by only telling the people i think really ought to know, i.e our parents/midwife & hubby obviously. As far as i'm concerned it's no one else's business where or how i choose to give birth.

Hubby was a bit sceptical to begin with, but we recieved our pool the other day (ebay deal) and he really got into learning how to put it up/fill it etc. We were also looking online at homebirth/waterbirth/hypnobirthing last night, and he was getting really interested, and far more supportive. I think it's just a case of the unknown that makes them a bit hesitant. They don't know how they'll fit into it/if it's safe etc as it's not the norm, but if you reassure them, and give them a role in it to focus on, he will come around.

Sorry, bit of a long post :S

Hi to both of you!

I planned a home birth with my daughter who was my first child as well. I ended up having to transfer to hospital as she basically got stuck and I was exhausted from the pushing- but even so I would still recommend it because I was so much more relaxed starting off at home, I'm a little bit scared of hospitals!

We got an inflatable birth pool which we put up in the lounge and it was lovely, I just sat in the pool with my favourite CDs playing.

My husband was a bit hesitant when it was first mentioned, but he was fine once we looked into the research and spoke to the mw and so on- he could see that the more relaxed I was, the easier things were likely to be. And he didn't like the idea of me staying overnight in hospital without him.

If you have opposition to the idea I think it's worth finding out exactly why people don't like it, because most of the time it's just a lack of knowledge / understanding. And if you have a hospital reasonably close by it's also worth reminding them that you can be tranferred in quickly if there is real need for it. The vast majority of transfers are similar to mine rather than real emergencies anyway.

I hope you both get the birth you want, don't let anyone put you off, it is you decision to make!

Hi Becky

I am due about the same time as you and am planning on having a home water birth. Initially my husband was resistant to the idea as well. We live close to the hospital and he didn't understand why I wanted to have it at home. Added to that, my friends who are doctors were all really opposed to the idea.

I am not quite sure brought him round to the idea, maybe it was just that we spoke to a few friends who had done it who all seemed really keen and said how wonderful it was. Maybe it was the fact that the pregnancy has been very straightforward and we continue to be low risk. I think, like smilingfairy says, its a case of the unknown. He was probably most concerned that it just wasn't the usual thing to do, so why should we do anything different.

We ordered a brand new birth pool in a box from someone on ebay at a bargain price! Why not suggest that he research the birth pool option to see which one seems to be a popular choice? While he is doing this, he is bound to come across some of the recommendations for the products from satisfied customers. I think you will find he will probably come round to the idea the closer it gets and the happier he sees you are with the choice. Try to involve him in the planning of the birth, maybe get him to put together a relaxing birth playlist for your ipod, ask how you could best set up the room for a pool. Something like that will make him feel more involved and important as it is something that you are doing together.

He will also have the advantage of feeling more comfortable when you are in labour, as it is his natural environment, he knows where things are etc. Most importantly after the birth, he can stay with you and the baby rather than have to leave after visiting time is over. Hopefully this should help you to bond as a family more quickly.

It is difficult, I have had all sorts of odd reactions whenever I have mentioned to anyone that I am planning a home birth. If he gets that too, it is easy to see why he is concerned. Have you seen the "Mum's the word" dvd that the NCT produced? That talks through what a home birth is like, by following one mum's experience. It will help him to see it is nothing to be scared of. Even though she ends up getting transferred to hospital, she starts off surrounded by her whole family (literally!) I started watching it the other night while my hubby was working in another room, but he soon came in curious and sat down and started watching and asking questions.

Sorry to waffle on, but good luck persuading him!

Harry

HI I agree with the others, I managed to have my 3rd baby at home in the birthing pool and it was the best day of our lives!! She is 22 months old now and I am still on a high from her birth.
As parents you will have others disapproving of your decisions all the time but you need to decide what is best for you and your family and then ignore them. I am still breastfeeding my 22 month old and get plenty of comments but just totally ignore them!
You could find out if you have a local home birth group and take your oh - I run one and it is really informal and relaxing and great for the men who arrive unsure about the idea of home birth but usually leave totally convinced that it is agood idea. If there are men at mine I get my hubby to join in - he loved our home birth as much as I did.
You really can't be in any better place than your own home when you go into labour - I was so excited about my home birth and it was just so relaxing doing whatever I wanted.
When I was in the pool (in our conservatory with the sun shining through the roof) it was so calm and peaceful and I could just focus on giving birth which was so empowering. After 2 previous awful hospital instrumental deliveries I pushed out a big baby who was back to back without any other pain relief apart for the pool and I will never forget what a wonderful day my homebirth was.
I really hope you ignore any negativity and have a great home birth too xx

Hi there,
I had a successful home water birth for my first and can say it was the best day of my life! I am also a theatre sister in a busy emergency theatre where we sometimes have to cover emergency c sections so you can imagine the critics I had.
I had drs and nurses laughing in my face and telling me 'we'll see you here for a section then'!

My husband was also very unsure about the whole thing so I made hime read through the very informative homebirth site (which I'm sure you know about by now) and we discovered together that the main reasons for women transfering were lack of progression and needing more pain relief. We also attended one of Janat Balaskas' talks on home birth in London, but she's also writtern a book called 'waterbirth'.
As for the safety aspect, you can only proceed with a homebirth in a completely normal pregnancy which puts you at low risk in the first place. The midwifes come round with a huge bag of emergency stuff 2 weeks before the birth, including resus stuff for the baby and oxygen, and they put all the emergnecy drugs for you and the baby in your fridge. You will have TWO very competent midwifes attending your birth instead of sharing one with two other women. Being in your own surroundings will make you feel more relaxed and allow all the labour hormones to flow.

As for my birth story....I was in established labour for 13 hours through the night. I managed with hypnobirthing, homeopathy and breathing until 7cm when I got into the pool. I had some gas and air for a while in the pool and was blessed with a second stage of 11 mins! The birth was so peaceful, the room was dark, I had candles burning and an underwater torch in the pool. She came out with her eyes wide open and drifted up to us where I caught her and just stared back at her for ages. It was perfect.

My husband was so grateful not to be in a hospital and he really felt so involved in the birth. I had no intervension, no one elses germs to worry about and we had a glass of champagne from the fridge.........Have I sold it yet?

My advise would be to inform yourselves as much as possible and arm yourselves with loads of research as when you read around the subject you'll see that homebirths are very safe.

Why don't you just say to your hubby that you'll go with the flow. You'll be willing to transfer to hospital at anytime but whilst things are going well lets just stay at home for another hour or so?

I hired my pool from splashdown, but this time am going for a heated pool from born in water.

I really hope you go for it and that it is a lovely experience...you'll never look back. x x

Lisa.
19+2

I had my first baby in water at home 13 years ago and it was brilliant i have since had 2 more water births and am hoping for my 4th in April. my husband wasn't keen on the idea with the first but at the end of the day it was me that was having the baby and the midwives and I were happy. My mistake with my first was getting into the water too soon (i just couldn't wait) This just mad the labour longer. But other than that it all went great!! Michelle

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Hi Becky

I have a homebirth planned (and a waterbirth) and a husband who believes that doctors know best and would prefer me to be in hospital hooked up to every machine going (he wuld have liked that from the first day of pregnancy actually, but that is him!)

I ignored him. I am only planning on one child and I want it to be the most special experience for myself and the baby. In-laws again are irrelevant, tell them where to go and mind their own business.

Homebirth has been proved to be just as safe as hospital births (go to www.homebirth.org.uk for info) and you have the benefit of not exposing yourself to all the hospital bugs. Both my sisters-in-laws children have had hospital acquired infections after being born in the comfort of hospital. However, of all the people I know who have had a home birth, none of them have had an infection in their child due to lack of cleanliness etc.

As regards the Natal Hypnotherapy CDs, I don't want to disappoint you but they are hopeless. My husband and I went on a Natal Hypnotherapy course which was excellent, and then borrowed the CDs from a friend who had brought them but not been on the course. Frankly it was a waste of £16. If you want the real benefit, go on either a Natal Hypnotherapy course or a Hypnobirthing course as that will help.

Good luck!