Hi ladies,

I was wondering how many of you have chosen to bottlefeed from birth? I know a lot of women struggle to breastfeed and move on to the bottle, but have any of you only ever given formula?
I am only 14 weeks but starting to think about feeding. I have never been comfortable with the idea of BF. I have absolutely no problem with others doing it and do not feel uncomfortable around BF but I just dont feel I can do it. I have thought long and hard about why this is, and cant put my finger completely on it. All I know is that the thought of me BF makes me want to cry, and I mean really cry. Just trying to talk about it gets me choked up and its like I have a fear of it?
I have been a nanny for many years and have formula fed all the babies I have looked after so preparing formula, sterilising etc is all routine to me, so dont see this as a disadvantage to BF.
ok, I am babbling.. basically just want to know have any of you never breastfed for any reason other than medically you could not? And did you encounter any criticism from midwives/doctors etc?

Hi there

I am doing mixed feeding, so some BF and some formula, This is mostly due to the my daughter being born early and struggling to feed so had to give her top up in the hospital and then I got mastitus, so although BF has got easier, it's not really ever got established and my milk supply is low. Abigail's now 5 weeks and I'm hoping to continue to Xmas when she'll be 8 weeks, but don't think I'll continue much past that.

Personally, I think you are better to wait until baby arrives and see how you feel. I took the view that if BF didn't work then I wasn't going to beat myself up about it but I found when the time came I felt quite differently and was quite upset that it didn't happen easily. And it is a lovely close experience to have with baby.

I do have a friend who bottlefed from the beginning as she had a bad experience with her 1st baby and she is very happy with that.

Some midwives do strongly push BF (but i think they have to as they cover the early days and if you don't get it established early it can be very difficult), however, my health visitor is much more chilled and says it has to be what works for you.

Hope that helps. At the end of the day, many babies are fed on formula (as we were) and they are perfectly happy and healthy. It also has the advantage of allowing dad to get involved.

I chose to bottlefeed from birth. All the way through my pregnancy I knew in my heart that I didn't want to breastfeed. Really felt guilty and said I would try but every time I thought about it I felt really uncomfortable and like you sometimes wanted to cry.

In the end I had an emergency c-section and when I came out of theatre they asked me how I wanted to feed and I just thought to myself all those people who have been telling me what to do haven't just been through what I have and they are not the ones having to do it so I will do what feels right to me and I chose bottle feeding.

I have had comments about it - especially from one of my best friends but not one of the people who have commented have made me feel guilty - she is my baby and is doing fine on formula thank you very much.

One thing I would warn you about though is that your baby will KNOW. She still squeezes my boob when she is hungry even though she has never had anything out of it so I did feel a little bit guilty for her.

The benefits are great though. My oh was able to feed her straight after birth when I was still sore and spaced out and we have been able to share feeding easily.

None of the midwives pushed me to breastfeed but if you do choose the bottle be warned - you are just shoved the bottle and left to get on with it. If you need help with feeding (and we did she just wouldnt take much) you really need to ask for it.

Hiya,

I'm a nanny too and have been for 12 years.

I bf my son for 4 months and in the end hated it.

I'm due in March and have decided this time I'm going to bottle feed from the start. My mw has been very unhelpful and negative about this so I've decided not to mention it to anyone else until I have to go in for the birth.

Its such a shame especially as it really is ment to ne our choice, but they push bfing at every opportunity!!

Good luck,

marnie

26+5

Hi, it was a bit more complicated for me, I wasnt sure whether to breast or bottle feed when I was pregnant. When he was born I decided to try bf but I felt very exposed when the midwives etc were holding my boob lol, also my lo was terrible at latching on and after several attempts I asked for a bottle of formula which the midwives etc were fine with. I have to say I think there's nothing wrong with bottle feeding & if that is your choice so be it! Mothers can be so judgemental and these days you're damned if you do breast feed, and damned if you dont - stick to your guns & dont feel pressured into anything you don't want to do. xx

I bottle fed both from birth because i had no desire whatsoever to breastfeed and would never ever breastfeed in future. Its just wasnt for me or my children. If others want to do it i have no problem with that but i certainly wasnt going to. I had the usual breast is best business thrown at me from midwives etc but i just made my views clear and i was left to bottlefeed in peace. I have come across a small few bf mums who have tried to take the moral highground, believing they are superior as they have bf etc, but i couldnt give a f***, it your body and your baby, formula feeding is great, it is not going to stop your baby growing or being as happy and healthy as a baby who is bf, and people will probably try to guilt trip you by saying by not bfing you could have a child with allergies etc but in my opinion it is a load of crap, mums who breastfeed are no better than mums who ff. If midwives etc try to bully you tell them to mind their own business, they have to attempt to encourage bf as thats what they are paid to do, but they have no say in how you feed your child. Good luck and im glad you are strong minded enough to make your own choice and not be railroaded by propaganda xxx

when i was pregnant i decided to try bf charlie. I never really liked the idea of breastfeeding, but my mum kept going on a me to try it so in the end i felt pressured into trying it. When charlie was born i tried bf but charlie wouldn't latch on and i was getting frustrated and so was charlie, so we ended up ff him. To be honest i probably gave up on the bf too quickly but i never really wanted to do it in the first place.
I totally agree with everything EmmaLou has said.
Please don't let anyone bully u into bf if u really don't want to do it. It is completely your decision. xx

Ladies, thank you all so very much! I cant tell you how relieved I feel!! Just knowing that I am not on my own in the way I feel has helped me ten fold! I am still very early on in my pregnancy, but the whole BF thing (which has already been shoved down my throat once by midwife) was really giving me sleepless nights. If I thought I were harming my little one in any way, then I would put aside all my fears and try my hardest. But like you all say, I am not harming bubs and should not feel guilty! And i wont!
OH and I had long chat last night and we have decided that it will be FF all the way unless through the next 6 months I change my mind, but only ME! No one else is going to bully me into something I dont feel comfortable with!
Thank you once again, you are all so lovely

I did try bfing but my baby wouldnt latch on (she had jaundice which makes them very sleepy). After a night in hospital with her screaming and a midwife telling me my baby was just awkward i asked for a bottle. I was handed one and left to it. I knew what to do but it was very annoying how you get all the help in the world to bf but none to ff. The midwife who came round during the morning when i had asked if i was allowed to be discharged was really funny about me giving a bottle so i told her i was still trying to bf and it was going better. Then i got home and opened a tin of SMA.

If i have another baby i will ff feed again. Dont let anyone make you feel guilty. If ff was harmful people would not do it. Me and my siblings were all ff (my mum didnt produce any milk) and we are all fine. No allergies at all. It isnt a given that bf will prevent allergies anyway.

Like Lollyb i had an emergency section, but i was determined to bf at first. Cameron needed oxygen when he was born so his lips were all puffy and he couldnt latch on. so he had formula from a cup twice (after a lot of trying to latch him on and him getting very upset..which i now feel awful about..how is that better for him than him being fed by a bottle-silly silly me!!) then we managed to latch him on finally. but it was difficult to feed as i had to lay on my side due to section. anyway we muddled on with me and cam both getting worked up at every feed!!! i managed 2 weeks, then i mixed fed for a week then moved on to bottles when he was 3 weeks old! that was the best decision i made for him! he was happy straight away and is thriving on formula! he is 6 months now, has only ever had one cold and got rid of that really quickly..i have never seen any negative effects so far. so bottle feeding really aint that bad hun!
xx

hi, i did try to BF both my boys but it just didnt happen,
my 1st really only had a few mouthfulls over the 3rd,4th & 5th day. he is now 2yrs & has no allergies, skin problems etc perfectly healthy!!! my lo is 5wks & was BF for the 1st 3days then switched to FF as he wouldnt latch properly i ended up bruised swollen cracked & bleeding!!!! last time i really guilt tripped myself, but now i just accept that for me & my boys it just doesnt work!!
i have two friends that both FF from birth, they have 5 between them & all are fine. both of them never wanted to BF & let no one guilt trip them!
i really believe if it makes you feel that sad, it would be silly to put yourself thru it!! you will know @ the time if you want to try. but your baby will be just fine FF & much happier than if you BF & hated it!!
dont let the worry ruin your pregnancy or let any mw etc bully you into a decision.
xx

Hey hun,

First of all congrats on your pregnancy!!

My lo is 3 months on Friday and I am mixed feeding, she was exclusively bfed till around 2 and a half months. She gets fussy after 5 mins or so, so then I give her around 2-4oz of formula, since doing this she has been much happier - more wet nappies and poops and generally happier!!

I wanted to b'feed for as long as poss but she has lost weight and I am not going to persisit to prove anything as whatever is best for baby. I live in Germany and they are even worse about b'feeding so much so they refused to let me give her formula and kept putting her to the boob (she was born by em section so bit difficult for me to feed her by the boob).

Please dont let people pressure you, I am sick of people (hv mostly) saying oh you need to keep it up it is best for her blah blah - well food is best for her and if she is refusing my boob then formula it is or ebm. A happy mummy means a happy baby and you do what is best for you both hun.

I feel much happier now as people can help me out and its so much easier when out and about.

Best of luck with the rest of pregnancy xxx
Amy

Like some of the other ladies on this thread I always said that I would bottle feed my son from birth. This is what I have done for the last 24weeks, and as he has always been a very hungry little man I think I made the best choice. LOL.

I didnt want to breast feed as ...well I just didnt want to. Like some of the other ladies I have no issues with other moms breastfeeding but it just wasnt something that I wanted to do.

I was so adamant that my wish not to breastfeed was the only thing written on my birthplan. MW spoke to me briefly but after a couple of minutes of preaching the pros and cons accepted that I wouldnt change my mind and at no point was I pressured into breast feeding.

I was one of only 3 moms on the ward after giving birth who were bottle feeding and found the ward staff really helpfull (especially as I had a section). Only 1 of the 3 of us had wanted to breastfeed but had problems so ended up bottle beeding.

At the end of the day my son is happy and healthy and isnt that really all that matters.

I wanted to try breast feeding when pregnant, i ended up with an emergency section and my daught er was born early-she point blank refused to latch on.
So until she was a month on she was express fed-do you think this is an option for you? that way you can express in private and use bottle..
But if you really dont want to use breast milk-dont feel bad honey,its your body and your choice.
I think a lot of women are bullied into breast feeding, they do say breast is best-it rhymes big deal-its not best if mummy/baby dont want to do it. What is best is that mummy is happy,relaxed thus resulting in a happy,fed child.
Goodluck.xxx

with charlie i chose to bottle feed from start as i had a lot of problem bf this older brother and sister and decided it wasnt fair on me, charlie or anyone else in the house to go through all the stress we went through the last two times x

I am soo pleased to see this thread!! I am only in very early pregnancy but have always said - and still do - that I do not want to BF. My sister tells me to wait and see, and my mom says that I should do it for the first 3 months and they both make me feel as if I am being selfish. I just don't want to breastfeed but I feel I have to explain why and this really annoys me. I'm dreading saying it out loud to the MW when the time comes but your replies have made me feel stronger and more determined to do what I want with MY baby. Thanks ladies. x

sorry, reading and running, but my first only bottlefed and my second only breastfeeds! just what felt right at the time and that! I've got quite a few friends who gave one feed by bf and that was their lot and one recently who felt ill at the thought of bf and bottle fed only! to each their-own

Andipink you are not being selfish by bottlefeeding,its great, my 2 were both bottle fed and are happy and healthy, you're giving your chld a great start in life by bottlefeeding, its nothing to feel guilty about, breastfeeding is fine if it suits you but it isnt for everyone and certainly wasn't for me. Congratulations on your pregnancy btw xxx

This thread is brilliant! I've been arguing with my other half as i want to bottle feed and he thinks i should breast feed. Like many of you i have no desire to bf and get the impression that a lot of women are pushed into it by midwives. I feel really good after reading all these comments.

Sarah bottlefeeding is great, i loved every minute of it and neither me nor my children missed oiut on anything by not bf. The sterilising and making up of bottles takes minutes and is by no means and inconvienience at all. I doubt your husband would be too keen if the shoe was on the other foot. Congratulations on your pregnancy and for being strong minded enough to make your own choice, at the end of the day it is 2009 and most of us can make up our own minds xxx