Fri 9 Jan 2009 | You are here: Home > chatroom > Messageboards > Baby > Theoretical question of course.....
left col

How's it going with the New Year's resolutions?


Disclaimer

The material contained on these pages is in no way intended to replace professional medical care or advice and should not be used as a basis for diagnosis or choice of treatment. Answers to specific problems may not apply to everyone. If you're worried, see your GP.


Theoretical question of course.....

  |<   <   1   2   3   >   >|
Forum Jump
Author Message

freddiemum1
Joined : Mar 24, 2008
Posts : 103
Rank: Regular

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 4:46:18 PM
Subject : Theoretical question of course.....

Just wondered whether you would ever consider being a surrogate for close family or friend?

Reason I ask is because a very good friend of mine is finally thinking of starting a family in say next couple of years and im well excited! weve been friends for 17 years and since I had my first daughter 11 years ago I have sometimes felt she would never take that step! (shes been with her OH for about 13 yrs) But then she said after all this what if I couldnt have children? to which I replied id have one for you! (in a semi serious but joking kinda way!)
But i did say I couldnt use my own eggs i would only be a host surrogate say using her eggs fertilised beforehand.
When i told my Oh of this conversation he was like do i have a say!! 9 months of your hormones and no baby at the end!! lol
Now obviously im hoping it would never come to that anyway but did get me thinking...do you think you could do it??

Heidi xx

Back to top
Queen Bee

Queen Bee
Joined : Dec 10, 2007
Posts : 5444
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 4:50:49 PM

I have been very good friends with a girl from school for 10 years now and she has fertilty problems,she has pcos and they think she is going through prem menopause so about a year ago when i was first expecting Ruby i told her i would happily be a surrogare for her and use my eggs,she said if they havent concieved by the time she is 30(i will be 29) then we will go down that route.
I had a horrible pregnancy with Ruby and plan to have ALL children by section but she will be such a fantastic mummy oneday-i will happily do it for her.xxx

Back to top
freddiemum1

freddiemum1
Joined : Mar 24, 2008
Posts : 103
Rank: Regular

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 4:55:48 PM

aww think thats a really selfless thing to do and even more so if you used your own eggs!
I just think it would be such a lovely gift to give your friend if she cant have children seeing them with a LO in their arms xx bet shes glad shes got you as her friend xx

Back to top
lynz_81
Joined : Sep 05, 2008
Posts : 536
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 5:02:33 PM

I have a sister who's 19, and due to having cerebral palsy nobody really knows whether she'll be able to carry a baby of her own. If she cant, i'll be her surrogate without a doubt. Dont think i could do it for anyone else though. I think its a very selfless and loving thing to do, and have sooo much respect for women who do it. What an amazing gift to give to somebody!

Back to top
Queen Bee

Queen Bee
Joined : Dec 10, 2007
Posts : 5444
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 5:10:26 PM

I dont think i could do it without having my own child/ren first though but i know after having Ruby that i could hand the baby over, i know it sounds awful but i didnt bond straight away,it was a love that grew over time and my friend and her partner WILL be fantastic parents one way or another, i do hope for their sakes they can concieve but i will always be there as plan B,lol.xxx

Back to top
SuzMcH
Joined : Dec 11, 2007
Posts : 803
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 5:10:41 PM

I'm pretty sure I would do it for my sister if she needed/wanted me to. Using either mine or her eggs. But until she decides to start a family we won't know if she needs me to or not. I would also consider egg donation too. Once my family is complete it seems sad to flush an egg down the loo every month when someone els that longs for a family could benefit from it. S x

Back to top
JodieBuckley

JodieBuckley
Joined : May 02, 2008
Posts : 1226
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 6:53:02 PM

i would consider it but not using my own eggs.

Back to top
Poz

Poz
Joined : Jan 27, 2008
Posts : 681
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 7:28:58 PM

No, I don't think I could give the baby up, I bonded so much with my lo while I was pg- feeling her move and so on. I suppose I might consider it if it was for my sister or a very close friend as then I would still get to see the baby grow up.

Back to top
tallkatie2

tallkatie2
Joined : Feb 07, 2008
Posts : 3753
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 7:35:10 PM

eek its a tough one! tbh i dont think im strong enough to cope with handing my baby over even if it isnt my egg. If it was my sister it would be a lot easier and i probably would be i certainly couldnt do it for a stranger.

I was reading in a magazine about a lady who has done it 11 times for complete strangers and she is a virgin!! x x x

Back to top
PinkToothbrush

PinkToothbrush
Joined : Oct 18, 2007
Posts : 2504
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 7:55:02 PM

I admire people who can do this - such a selfless thing to do - but having been pregnant I'm fairly sure I couldn't hand over a baby, even if it wasn't my egg. Not to a stranger and probably not to a sibling or close family member, either.

37+5

Back to top
Benjismummy

Benjismummy
Joined : Oct 03, 2007
Posts : 555
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 8:00:42 PM

I think its a very selfless thing to do and do admire those that do or can honestly say they would do it..me?no i couldnt!i just dont think i could through the whole process then hand the baby over at the end!

Back to top
freddiemum1

freddiemum1
Joined : Mar 24, 2008
Posts : 103
Rank: Regular

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 8:33:36 PM

I remember when I was younger and thinking about it said " no way could i do that!" but im in such a different place now cos Ive had my 3 lovely cherubs and do feel my family is complete which and having such enjoyment out of them would be immensely sad if someone (like my best friend) couldnt experience that. I couldnt do it for a stranger and certainly not for money purposes. I cant believe some woman has done it 11 times Katie dont know if she deserves a medal or whether shes just plain bonkers!! xx

Back to top
karlamh

karlamh
Joined : May 10, 2008
Posts : 70
Rank: Regular

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 9:47:04 PM

i would definately do it but it would seriously depend on who it was for. they'd have to be really special to me....or paying me a lot!!!

Back to top
Hayley_JC

Hayley_JC
Joined : Jan 21, 2008
Posts : 257
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 17, 2008 10:19:03 PM

I don't know if i'd be able to do it or not tbh. a close friend asked me a few months back that if she couldnn't have kids (she's had 3 miscarridges in the past) that she'd ask me or another mate to be a surrogate.
Think I'd be able to do it but only as a host kinda thing. I wouldn't be able to cope knowing that my biological child was living with someone else, no matter who it was, close friend or complete stranger

Back to top
Palmtree

Palmtree
Joined : May 13, 2008
Posts : 718
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 18, 2008 9:47:31 AM

I think I cld... when ive finished my little family.. as long as dh supported the idea and understood. Id like to help if a friend needed me to help create a little miracle xxxx

Back to top
kirst3

kirst3
Joined : May 31, 2007
Posts : 2381
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 18, 2008 10:28:43 AM

i think i could do it for my sis if it didnt happen for her, i would have to feel that i have done having my own 1st though. xx

Back to top
EmmaLou85

EmmaLou85
Joined : Apr 23, 2008
Posts : 1126
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 18, 2008 10:37:15 AM

I dont like the idea of surrogacy at all, its all good in theory to say you'd do it willingly to help a friend etc but unless you've done it before,how do you know that you wont get the same rush of love when baby is born and end up keeping it for yourself? I just see it as having potential to cause too many problems. I also think that the child needs to be thought about more after all, if there was to be a change of heart once born and an ongoing dispute imagine the negative effect on the child. I can see why ppl do it but i would never do it, i know ppl think theyre doing a good dead etc but i just think theres too many ethical issues tbh x

Back to top
frags_jones

frags_jones
Joined : Jan 26, 2007
Posts : 716
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 18, 2008 12:10:36 PM

For my sister's I would carry their child if they couldn't. I would only consider using my eggs for my sisters if they had no ovaries/eggs at all - but still that wouldn't be a definite yes.
I think that although it would be lovely for someone to experience pregnancy that using donated eggs just to achieve this is selfish when there are plenty of children already waiting for loving homes - adoption week last week really highlighted it for me...but then I guess if there isn't a problem with OH's sperm then some would like donated eggs so atleast the child is biologically linked to the couple...it's so hard, there's lots of if's & buts!
xxx

Back to top
freddiemum1

freddiemum1
Joined : Mar 24, 2008
Posts : 103
Rank: Regular

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 18, 2008 12:32:57 PM

Frag jones did you see any of the children on this morning last week for adoption week?
just felt so sad for them and if had a mansion and was rich would love to adopt them all! really do hopw they find some loving homes for the children, it brings it home to you when you see their plights on the telly xxx

Back to top
PumpkinPatch
Joined : Aug 14, 2007
Posts : 715
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 18, 2008 12:35:49 PM

I would consider being a host suggret but I couldn't do it to anyone I no as I would be to worried I would become attached to the child if I was to see him/her growing up. Oh wouldn't want me too.

Kerry, Freya and Bump
X X X

Back to top
firsttimer33

firsttimer33
Joined : Oct 13, 2008
Posts : 612
Rank: Star user

My Other Topics
Posted : Nov 18, 2008 12:56:05 PM

hi, i am having a baby via surrogacy, currently just over 12 weeks, the scan on friday!! i am so grateful to my surrogate and would encourage anyone to do it if they thought they could. If you have any doubt i would suggest no. and speaking to a councillor is recommened.
please ask any questions about surrogacy if you like. it is so rewarding and takes a very special person to do it! xx

Back to top
Forum Index -> Messageboards -> Baby
  |<   <   1   2   3   >   >|


Who's online?

Darclar | firsttimer33 | Kazza1 | MAGGS5573 | MrsN | sammy-jones |



Board statistics

We have 64945 discussion board members

Welcome to our latest member gillyjon

In total there are 36 active users online, 6 members and 30 guests

CONTACT | FAQ | PRIVACY | TERMS & CONDITIONS | ADVERTISERS | TOP
The National Magazine Company Ltd. © Copyright 2008
SEARCH OUR NETWORK: All About You :: Baby Expert :: Cosmopolitan :: Get Lippy :: Handbag :: Harper's Bazaar :: Men's Health :: Net Doctor :: Runner's World :: You & Your Wedding