Got a toddler issue you're having problems dealing with? Maybe you're worried about discipline, potty training or helping your child make friends? Perhaps you're concerned about your parenting style or wondering how to keep your temper while your toddler is losing hers?
Sue Atkins from Positive Parents will be with us to answer all your questions right here 12-1pm today. Please post any queries here and Sue will do her best to answer them.
Web Ed Nicola

Hi Sue,
My little girl is 2 and she hates going to the childminder. She starts cryiung the minute we leave our house and cries so much when I drop her off that she makes herself sick. She continues being sick for about two hours, apparently, then cries again (out of relief and stress, I guess) when I collect her. She's been going there for 3 weeks and it's not getting any better. I don't let her see, but when I leave the childminder I walk away in tears too. It is so stressful for us both! How can I cope? and help her cope? or should I just give up? I don't want her to think she's 'won' but maybe this childcare isn't right for her? What do you think?

Hi there Sue,
My two and a half year old is addicted to his dummy; if it gets lost there is a big panic until it’s found. I have to carry a spare everywhere and he won’t sleep with out it. How long should I let him have one for and how can I get him detached? I really don’t want him starting nursery with a dummy!

Hi Flamenca

It's always a difficult time when this happens. But kids are really great at picking up your vibes so start to notice how you are feeling just before getting your daughter ready - and get yourself grounded and centred first. Take some slow deep breathes and run over how you want it to go and imagine it going well - it will give you confidence. Then practise what you want to say to her and how your want it to sound and imagine a time, in the not too distant future when it's all going well and she realxed and having fun easily and effortlessly

hi sue
my daughter is 10 months ols and dont sleep through the night she wake up bout 2-3 times in the night she sould be sleepin through i have tried everythin plz help wb mommynatzx

Hi Sue

Me, hubby and our son are due to move house and area in Jan. Our son will be 18 months old by then and is already quite socially aware.
Any tips on helping him settle into the new environment?

Thanks

Thanks Sue, I'll do my best. But out of interest, do you have any tips for how to tactfully 'withdraw' from a situation without making it seem as though she's won and I've given in?

Hi Rubey Too

Dummies are a really personal thing for each family as there is no right or wrong way to handle it. But a lot of parents use Christmas as a great time to give Father Christmas their dummies along with the mince pie and drop of whiskey - or you could give it to Rudolph to take it away for you. He could then write your little one a note ar leave a special "thank you for your dummy" pressie as a way to move your little one forward.

Also just to notice the times when he seems to like it .... when he's tired or stressed or nervous or going to sleep and try making a small change in how you handle those times - give him extra cuddles, praise or a favourite toy instead to gently ween him off like when you moved from bottles to cups and beakers.

If you relax he will feel more relaxed and imagine at time when it's all gone and just relax around that knowing it will come ...... when he's ready.

Hope that helps
Love
Sue

hi
My 3-year wakes really early and always comes into our bed. How can I get her our of this and encourage her to stay put until a reasonable hour!?
Thanks in advance – a tired mum!

Hi Pixie _ Woo

It's all about keeping your routines the same, introducing your little one to the new house with excitement and in a relaxed way - bringing the same toys, the same bedlinen, his favourite cuddly and speaking about the move gently and positively. Children are happy if they are with you and it's your attitude that matters most - as they get their sense of security from you first. Invite their friends over with their mums for you all to enjoy the lovely exciting new move and have fun exploring your new environment!

Good luck in your new home

Love
Sue

i was before pixi woo ?

Hi Mommynaz

Sleeping is always a tough time isn't it as you are probably tired out yourself. The usual things to check are that your litle one is warm enough now that that weather has changed, that there is a night light on so they don't feel scared if they wake up and and can fall asleep themselves and to notice if anything has chnaged in your routines or circumstances - again kids are so good at picking up your vibes. If you are tense, anxious or exhausted they naturally tap into that and react to it.

So make sure you get some sleep during the day, if you can catch a nap, or go to bed earlier while you are going through this phase, and see if you can get your partner or a friend to get up to your daughter so you can share it - it will take the presssure of the situation and will help you feel morein control of the situation generally

Hope that helps
take care

Sue

thanks for the info sue hopefully somethi will work i have not been leavin a lit on so will try that thanks

Hi Flowerpower

I wonder if you have some toys around and handy for your litltle one to play with - perhaps have an old favourite or have a new toy that is facinating for them to explore and teach her that you expect her to stay in her room until...... a time that she can understand like .... "when you hear mummy's music going off on the radio alarm" We use to have a clock with a bunny on it and we used to set it to when he opened his eyes and smiled which meant my kids could come in to "see" us for the startt of the day!

Just work out what time is a reasonable time for you and think of some creative ways to teach your daughter when it's OK to come in - bearing in mind that kids don't understand the concept of time until about 4 or 5 years old!!

Hope that helps

Sue

Hi Flamenca

It's not about winners and losers just about what must happen sometimes and how you handle it really - if you relax and chat about all the positive things to going off and give your little one some notion of time ..... like two of their favourite TV programmes away from mummy - it seems to help as they get to know that you are coming back...... alot of it is that really

When I was a reception teacher the kids were fine 5 minutes later when mum had gone but it was mum who cried all morning thinking the worst - once your little one gets busy and relaxed and used to the routine these problems always melt away

Good luck and relax !!

I might be too late for an answer but I just wanted some suggestions for dealing with a wingy two year old! If she doesn't get her own way she switches straight to whinning, we try to ignore her as much as possible but she quite often descends into full scale tantrum at which point she throws herself around screaming. We normally have to intervene at this point to stop her hurting herself on the furniture etc. How would you suggest we head off the tantrums to start with and how do we stop her hurtin herself without rewarding her with attention? I have a 20 week old as well so she can't have my individed attention!
Cheers
Kerry

Hi there Bedhead

Your toddler is demanding your attention and any attention is better than none so I wonder what small change you could make this week to find just a little amount of time - perhaps when your baby is asleep to make your toddler feel special - read them a story, play a game or hide and seek or just spend time making them feel special - look at photos of when they were a baby and talk about how grown up they are now and talk about all the things they can do now that they couldn't do as a baby

Hope that helps

Take care

Sue

It's 1pm so this webchat is now CLOSED - no new questions, please. Many thanks to Sue Atkins for giving us her time today - and thanks too for all your questions.
Web Ed Nicola

I hope I helped you with your problems and worries if you'd like to call me on 01342 833355 I'll stay in my office for another half hour - if not I have a monthly newsletter that is full of practical tips and ideas that you can sign up for on my website on www.posiitve-parents.com

Have a great week and take care

Love

Sue

Always helps to post up the correct web address I find!!

www.positive-parents.com

Hi,Daniel is 16 months and he don't want to go on the potty. When he was 6 months we trained him and he was ever so great but then he started nursery in june 10 months and they culdn't be bothered to put him on the potty for two months.Then I changed nursery in August and tried the same routine but Daniel is just not interested.When he sit him on the potty ge gets up and walks away,sometimes he gets annoyed. Can you help? I don't want my child to ware a nappy when he's over two. Thank you.Nadia