hello im a newbie on here... so first of all ill introduce myself my name is natasha and have a three year old daughter just turned...shes brill i love her to bits.. but have a problem she isnt at play group yet she starts after xmas,, she loves dancing so i got her into dance school last week, but ive gone to pick her up today and theyve said she was very disruptive and has not listened to instructions, and has smacked some children and a teacher, and to bring her back when shes older... which is very hurtfull because she was loving going there and im also now thinking where have i gone wrong how do i resolve it...i mean she has been very disruptive over this last week or two at home ie not listening callin names..etc..i cant think what has triggered it off she just wont listen im not getting very far with dissaplining her cos she just throws it back in my face im just really stuck.. im worried about her starting play group now..what if she gets dissmissed from there my head is just a mess im really really stuck..

Hiya my son will be 3 in february and started playgroup last feb when he turned 2. He was quite nasty to some of the other children and used to hit them or pull hair a lot. The staff were great though and just persevered by putting him on the 'thinking chair' and after a few weeks he obviously got fed up on missing out on the fun and stopped. I think that in a school like setting like playgroup the staff should be far more tolerant as they are loads of kids who start off like this and they are trained to help get the kids out of their bad ways. You definately wont be the first or last mum to have a disruptive kid so dont worry yourself over it. Hopefully, using whatever tactics they do at the playgoup your daughter will go to, she will come to learn that her behaviour is not acceptable and will grow out of it. When i used to take him anywhere with other children before i used to cringe as he couldnt resisting attacking other kids but now hes an angel and is so kind and sociable it really has worked wonders. Good luck xxx

Hello Natasha

I use to help run a creche and worked as a childminder. I am very shocked that the dance staff were so frank with you so early on about your daughter. Not very constructive it may seem. Maybe they should have more understanding of small children, what do they expect at that tender age? I completely understand how that hurt your feelings.

In my experience, your daughter is at an age where she is learning so much and her behaviour sounds very normal to me. Sure, she is testing the water... and Mummy(!) but I havent yet met a 3 year old that hasent. I hope this reassures you.

Little girls become very independent and they know what they want! Sounds to me she might not like the word 'no' at the moment, but she is learning.

Its hard to advise as I dont know you both, but I'd say stay calm when disiplining her, not allowing her to have any positive attention if she is being naughty. Explain to her when she has calmed down why she was displined. Naughty steps and corners I think are brilliant, but everyone has there on views on them. I never raise my voice (difficult I know) but, the more and more its done the less impact it has. A stern, not loud voice seems to have a bigger impact.

Good luck with your little bunny, she will soon grow out of this phase, you have nothing to worry about. She sounds quirky, bet she has a great little character! xx