Hi ladies

We're only TTC baby number 2, I'm just trying to gather as much info as I can before making any decisions about the birth.
I had a traumatic birth with my first and I'm considering an elective c-sect. I know this is not the easy option especially as my eldest will be around 2 years old.
I wondering if anyone could share their experience with coping with a toddler and a newborn after a c-sect?

Thanks
Liz x

hi liz!

i had an emergency with my first, then had an elective with my 2nd - my toddler was 2 & 7months at the time.

he was absolutely great, and we had geared him up to the new baby so he knew he was the big boy that was going to help mummy, as i'd have a sore tummy. i showed him my tum in hospital with the big dressing and he loved it, and knew he wasnt to hurt mummy's tummy. when the dressing was off, i showed him again, and he used to kiss it better. he "helped" me with the baby (always ran off at pooh nappies funnily enough!!) and was really really well behaved. when he had his moments, we just chatted like we normally did pre baby to calm him down.

the only time i was worried was if i needed to carry him up / down stairs. i did this in the end sitting him on my knee, and sitting on the stairs myself (make sense?!!)

i then had an elective with my third when my middle was 3 & 2 months. again, we had no prob, and did the same with him we'd done first time.

if you do have a c/s, dont worry about you lo, they tend to adapt very well if you make them the proud sibling!!

good luck on the TTC!! have fun!!

hiya. i had an elective with my 2nd dd nearly 7 weeks ago now, wen she was born my eldest was 1yr 1 wk. i had my oh at home for 3weeks which really helped me, i was picking eldest up after about a few weeks, only thing i was dreading was taking her downstairs which i didnt do for the first few weeks my oh did it. other then that coping was fine. the recovery was so much easier then i thought it would be, esp after having an emergancy section and a bad recovery with my 1st.

HTH x

Thank you both so much; your positive experiences have really helped me.
It's something I'm going to think about more and discuss with the mw once I fall preg.

Thanks again
Liz x

hi

my youngest was 2 and a half when I had emerg c section. It was a struggle as the section was a real emergency and they had to cut me very wide and quickly (I was heamorraging with placenta previa). The cut was higher than normal and very long as 2 doctors wanted to get there hands in to deliver the placenta (nice!!!!). I could not and did not even attempt to lift Charlie till after my post natal check at 6 weeks. We just made sure he got lots of cuddles while i was sat down and I would sit and read him stories or watch his fav dvd when i was feeding Amelia.
He had a few melt downs as expected. I also had a 3 year old to cope with. The same rules applied. I just made as much fuss of them as I could . I had been on bed rest for 4 weeks so they were used to me not been very active. In laws came out (we live abroad) and then my 2 sisters for a week each. This got us through the 6 weeks as OH had to go off and work in other countries at times. Phew!!!! Looking back I not sure how we did it!!! I also have a (then)14 and 16 year old who helped out a great deal.

Accept as much help as poss, try to get an elective section a bit early so no emergency presents itself.

Also, try to prepare your child but not lifting them much at the end of pregnancy so they dont associate the whole thing with the baby. Try to get as many people on board to help too.

I had a terrible first birth (she was breech) and a wonderful 2nd birth. I would every every every time take a horrible vaginal over a section. Thats just me though! I hated the whole thing, hated the long long recovery, not driving etc... My first birth was awful and I tore, was cut, laboured for ever, had forceps 3 times and she came out all floppy BUT I would do that again over a section. Just talk over all your options before you decide.

Which ever way you go ....all the best with TTC and hope you get the birth you want

take care
d x

Deedee, thank you so much for your honest account; it's really good for me to see the not-quite-so-positive side of having a c-sect.

I'm still gathering info and balancing the pros and cons.

Thanks
Liz x

Hi

Personally i was desperate for a vbac as twins were 17 months and i hated the thought of not being able to drive to playgroups etc.

I knew however that a section was likely so prepared the boys in advance. I taught them to go up n down stairs, to play find games where i sat on sofa and they found a car etc. Also got them to climb on sofa for a cuddle rather than me picking them up. they also learnt to climb up a 2 step, step ladder so i cld pick them up from the top n put them in their cots. did all this b4 baby was born so it just seemed like normal when baby arrived.

For me it worked and i knew i wld be mainly coping on my own, still wld have prefered a vbac tho xxDBxx