not sure how i'm gonna get through this. my bp is still high and i'm not sleeping great and spd is playing up at the mo too. have got to go shopping with mum tomorrow to get the food for dads wake as well.
I think i'm prob gonna end up crying all the way through judging by the music thats been chosen and readings etc. Anyone got any advice on how to get through it?

Filo x

sorry no advice. i didnt go to my dads funeral but went to the wake (i was only 15 at the time). but just wanted to say that i will be thinking if you on friday.

great big hugs

karenxx

yikes, I hope you're ok dd buddy.

Will think of ya on Friday.

Yoga breathing is the only possible suggestion I have that can help to feel as centred and calm as poss but I know that sounds like the most silly suggestion, under the circumstances.

and lots of tissues, too (the aloe vera ones are good for when you need to blow your nose a lot) xxx

Sorry I'm another one that hasn't got any advice but I wanted to pass on my thoughts and that I will be thinking of you on friday...

Hugs and kisses xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

sorry filo i've got no advice either as i cant even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. you cant try and put a brave face on if thats not how you feel- thats all i can say.
i'll be thinking of you on friday and hope that you come out the other side just as strong xxxx

sorry hunnie i have no advice either.. but would like to say we will be thinking of you! xxx

no advice either as guess this is something that is too personal, what helps one person won't help another.

just take it a minute at a time and sob your heart out if you want to.

big hugs sweetie and will be thinking of you. you know we're all there with you giving you silent support xx

Oh Filo...

The only advise I can give you is to be as brave as you can, but don't keep it all inside...

I was surprised at the support I was given at my dad's funeral... We didn't choose sad hymns or readings and asked the minister if he would keep it light and funny... My mum, me and my sister all wrote about our fondest funny memories of him and it helped... The minister read them out in the service and everyone had a giggle... I know this sounds wierd, but it was a nice service... We all smiled at some point, even though inside I was crying!!!

I will be thinking of you on Friday - Take lots of deep breaths and you will be fine...

Please trust me that from Saturday morning onwards, things will start to become easier...

I still miss my dad every single minute of every single day, but instead of getting upset, I smile... He was a wonderful man who was taken before his time... But he is up there with my babies (2 mc's), looking down on me, keeping me and my new babies safe...

Good luck Filo...

Sara x

Thanks sara and ladies
i know i'll start to feel better after the funeral it was the same for my grandads
i chose a poem called "death is nothing at all" which is quite uplifting and we are trying to emphasise all the good things and celebrate his life but know that even the funny stories will make me miss him more on the day.
Harder knowing that he never will meet his new grandson but so glad to have have been there for him when he passed away. Am back to work next week for my last week before maty leave as he died on my ward and i need to know when i do go back that i'll be ok.
Filo x

Hi Filo,

Just wanted to say that i will be thinking of you tomorrow, my only advice is give yourself a bit of time to grieve maybe after the funeral / burial etc before you go to the wake, just let your tears out and allow yourself to cry for a little bit with your immediate family, or on your own. I found that this really helped at my dads funeral, they let eveyone leave the cremitorium first and i just sat there for a few minutes and cried - it was just a form of release i think, and it enabled me to get through the rest of the day. I think it is that closure that your body needs, i think you are very brave going back to work, but i understand why you are going and i think you are doing the best thing, if you put it off you will find it harder and harder. Lots of love xxx

Just wanted to say I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
I don't think that anyone can really advise you for tomorrow, but I would suggest that tomorrow is your day to say your Goodbyes and that although it will be the most terrible day, you will be surprised how different things will feel on Saturday.
Don't try to hold any of your emotions in - there is no need to be brave, you are going to miss your Dad so much and there is no reason not to express that.
I really feel for you - you must be in such a mix of emotions at the moment.
Take care
xxx

Filo, I just wanted to say how very sorry I am about your Dad. You must be going through a nightmare at the moment. I know there is absolutely nothing any of us can say that will make tomorrow any easier for you and your family, but as some of the other's have said hopefully things will begin to get a little easier to bear from Saturday.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow. xxx

oh filo, i haven't been checking up on you all as much as i used to, and i know your dad was very ill but i'm so sorry to hear what has happened.

just to let you know i will be thinking of you tomorrow.

sending you big hugs, we're all here for you xxxx

I will be thinking of you tomorrow Filo...it must be so hard, bless you.

I know it will be tough, but try to remember that the funeral/wake should also be a celebration of your Dad's life, and I am sure many happy and fond memories of him will be shared by you, your family and friends. It's sometimes quite amazing when you realise just how many lives that somebody special to you has touched, I know I found this when I attended my Grandad's funeral when I was 8 wks pg. The things he had done and the people whose lives he had touched left me in total awe of him.

I know those pregnancy hormones surging around won't help, but it is best to let the grief out, otherwise it will creep up on you later. Be strong babe.

Love Iz x

I would say just don't try and hold anything in, let it all out so that when it's over you can feel like you've done your grieving.

Having said that, I hope it is not too painful for you and you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy xxx

Thinking of you today, Filo xx

32+2

Filo, hope it goes well today and thinking of you. Lizzie xxx

Hey Filo,

Hope all goes well today. Lots of hugs for you xxx

Thinking of you xx

oh Filo i am so sorry to hear about your dad, thinking of you at this sad time

xxxxx

Just wanted to say, am thinking of you today and sending big hugs ur way.

xx