Boo, hiss, what a pile of shit. My period is starting to arrive, bang on time too, so unfortunately I now meet the criteria for officially joining this forum.
When we first started trying I was realistic in knowing that it could take a while but I've had enough now and just want to bang my fists on feet on the floor, having a huge tantrum and asking why isn't it our turn yet. I know that many of you on here have been trying for longer but even so, 12 months is a bloody long time.

So, now I have to see if the doctor will help us and go through poss painful tests and probing to try to achieve what some people seem to be able to do without even trying.
Hopefully the doc will not fob us off but I worry that if we do have tests that if my husband's sperm comes back with 'issues' then he just won't be able to handle it. Not because he's super macho, because he's not, but because he's prone to anxiety and has had depression in the past and I worry that something like that could add to that/set it off. And, with people bragging about their super sperm then that would make him feel awful. Incidentally, a woman would never sit there talking about her super ovaries or super womb/tubes would they yet they have a huge part to play in it all.

Although it wouldn't be great if something was up with me I think that I'd be able to handle it a bit better, although I suppose you don't know unless you're in that situation do you.

Anyway, I'm just rambling really. I'm going to try not to get down about it but it's hard not to. Feel more down this month than I did last though and last month I came on the same day as my 1st wedding anniversary - now there's a shit time to come on!

Don't really know what to say.

But I do think for long termers like us, this board is better as everyone can relate to your worries or concerns.

Just hope we are all not on here for long!

Hi Claire-Ski

Yes I know exactly how you feel. Shall I tell you what my overriding feeling is about us not being able to conceive? Anger. I feel very, very, angry. I work for the NHS and sometimes we have people who we see who, quite frankly, shouldn't have children in my (and a few others) opinion because they aren't capable of looking after themselves let alone a baby. And I look at them and think 'why aren't we expecting a baby? why are we struggling?' I think I was in tears on the way home from work every other day last week, which I know isn't good. I've contact 3 different fertility clinics to discuss my oh's problems and no-one has rung me back which I am very frustrated about. I've tried to turn a corner this week and think positively and to my oh's appt on 10th Nov but its very hard.

So I'm joining you in your rant, and this might not be the last time I rant myself!!!!

Thanks for the replies girls.

I second your ranting Wingnut. I only have to watch Jeremy Kyle for 2 minutes to feel incensed about these people who can pop them out like shelling peas yet are vile human beings (ok poss a bit strong but I have no time for them.)
I have decided that my plan to get pregnant is to live off takeaways, smoke 50 fags a day, booze week in week out and then go and shag some bloke other than my husband (preferably one of his mates or a family member) as that is sure to work, and then I can go on National TV and talk about it!! GGGrrrrr.

Calm Claire, calm...

Anyway, I have to try and think positive and am making an appointment for us to go to the doctor's next week. I did have a cry into my washing up yesterday morning though, which was probably a very sad sight to behold.

Hope that the fertility clinics get back to you but if not then November will be here before you know it.

I would just like to wish you LOADS of luck in ttc. Personally, I am now relieved that we went to the docs and have been referred to the fertility clinic, I could have just as easily gone on for a bit longer hoping something would happen but am pleased we have the ball rolling. At the end of the day if you both really want a baby it won't matter who the 'issue' if any it lies with, as long as you both love and support one another. You are so right when you talk about super sperm though and i think it can be as hard for men as it is for us! Anyway, good luck to you both x

I totally agree with the other ladies on everything said here- especially scumbags falling pregnant time and time again!

I would say however Claire-ski, that times you feel this bad aren't constant and there will be times you feel more positive.

Take care x

Hi girls

Just wanted to second all you've just said. I am coming up to the year mark too.

Its pathetic really. I'm telling myself its not quite a year yet as I didn't have my first period after coming off the pill on my honeymoon in Sept 2007, until Nov 2007. But I suppose really it's already been a year...

I get so frustrated that friends and family just have to look at their partners to get pregnant. Smug bastards. Sorry to rant but you hear my prayer, I'm sure.

And when friends start talking about when they are going to have their babies - like they're calling for a takeaway or something - I wonder where they get their confidence from. Its not that easy, I want to shout. How do you know its going to happen just like that?

Sometimes I wonder if it's my negative attitude that is holding me back. For some reason, I've always known it wasn't going to be easy. And now I'm saying 'I told you so!' to myself. Weird.

As far as I know there's nothing actually wrong with me, but somehow I still can't see it happening. Does anyone else feel like that?

Maybe I should get hypnotherapy or something, to change my attitude. I already have acupuncture which is bloody expensive... Has anyone else tried hypno? I notice Zita West recommends it in her book.

So glad you girls understand what I'm going through.

Squid xx