hey everyone, had my lo just under 2 weeks ago by c-section, had been getting induced for 48 hours and nothing was happening, i was having contractions every 3 mins but i wasnt dilating so i had the option of an elective c-section which i went for because i was in so much pain and distress, i had been sick for 48 hours and hadn't slept...the c-section went really well with no complications and i have to say it was brilliant which is why i'm kinda confused as to why now i feel kinda sad that i never experienced a natural birth...i keep reading birth stories on here and i don't know why but i just feel guilty...did anyone else feel like this? x

I think feeling sad is OK but guilty is not OK- the way I see it you didn't really have an elective section as it was def not a choice or cop out in any way. I did feel disappointed when I had my 2nd by cs but then I looked at lo and thank God he got out safe and sound so who cares whether it was through the sunroof or not !!
Hoping for a vbac now but actually not bothered about it- just want quickest recovery, safest method etc.

dont feel guilty at all - you cannot be induced for ever, and you have to have a cut off some where. if you hadnt had your c/s when you did, he could have ended up distressed too.

as for feeling sad - dont! if you think why you got pregnant, it was to have that baby, and hold him in your arms, knowing he is gorgeous, healthy and yours. it doesnt matter to him how he got here, all he knows is that his mummy loves him.

you did the best you could, just because your body didnt co-operate isnt your fault! being induced is wicked, and i know of too many girls who have ended up with C/S as it didnt work, so you are definately not on your own.

fortunately - maybe because of my job, and knowing what i know - when i had my first c/s (no labour emergency - antenatal problems), i was actually quite relieved when i went for c/s, as i needed to know my lo was fine. i didnt feel that i had missed out on anything - my babe was here and well, that was all that mattered.

c/s is actually more hard work than a normal delivery in the long run, so maybe feel proud of yourself for getting through it!

Ollier2001 is absolutely right. I was induced with my first child, and it was an awful experience. I had an allergic reaction to the gel they put on the cervix, and it was like it had burnt all my insides, but the midwifes kept giving it to me knowing the pain and discomfort i was in.

This lasted almost 2 days, and eventually the baby was getting distressed and I had to be put to sleep for an emergency c-section. My baby boy had to be rescuscitated for 7 minutes after birth because they'd left him in distress too long.

You can't beat yourself up about not having a natural birth - this wasn't a situation that you could physically do anything about.

Congratulations on the birth of your little one - feel proud that you grew this precious thing for 9 months!

thanks for your replies, i've just found out today that my scar is infected and my oh went back to work this morning so i've got plenty of things to keep busy with! i love my little boy so much, i guess ur right when u say it doesnt matter how he got here and that i got the result i wanted in the end, the baby! thanks girls x

try not to worry about your oh going back to work - this may just be adding to why you feel sad too. i think when everyone is there helping out / fussing over you etc, when your oh goes back, you feel somewhat abondoned, and think that if you hadnt had a c/s, then got the infection, you'd be able to do this/ feel this way instead etc. i think nature is very cruel at times - for Gods sake, why should you get the blues when you've had baby?!! have you not got enough to be getting on with?!!!!

your sadness will pass, and you will be able to look back and think to yourself why was i sad - i promise! your first baby is the most trying time of your life, and although you may still get times after with your next babe (although not in the pipeline just yet if Jensen is only 2 weeks old bless him!!), when you feel down, it will be better.

just come on here or the baby forum for laughs, tears, just if you need to get it off your chest.....it's what everyone is on here for.

keep your chin up, honey!

hi,
i had an emergency c/s with my 1st baby (2yrs ago now) i also had to be induced which dragged on for 4days, @ one point the (3rd) midwife on shift told me i was ready to start pushing then 1hr & 1/2 later the Dr examined me & said i was only 8cm's & to stop pushing! when they finally decided to take me to theatre i was so relieved but......

after @ home i to felt sad, guilty that i hadnt managed to do it naturally, it got worse when my husband went back to work, i had the most awful health visitor, couldnt drive (obviously) & my mum didnt have a car @ the time & no bus service to where she lives.
thankfully these feelings do GO! like the other ladies have said you & your baby are safe and well, which is the [url]most [/url]important thing !
im now hoping for a vbac in the next couple of weeks but if things dont go exactly to plan id rather the safest option for the baby & my little boy, if the 'sunroof' has to be re-opened id just rather they got on with it than drag it out again!!
you'll feel great again soon!!

hi hon,
how you feelin today?

xxxx

feel a lot better today, met my health visitor for the first time and she's really pleased with everything i'm doing and with Jensen, he weighs 9lb 3oz now (was 8lb 5oz born) so it's been like a major confidence boost...only problem is my scar is infected so i'm on antibiotics as from yesterday and have cream to put on which is really annoying as i have to lie down for ages to wait for it to soak in because of the position of it i have to hold my stomach back slightly to let the air at it...like i have the time hehe! me and my little man make a great team tho :-) thanks girls x

Glad you are feeling better today hun. I remember holding my tummy too to let a bit of air get to it - lovely.

x:lol:

Hi just wanted to say that I felt the same as you when I had my daughter 5 yrs ago (have just posted in more detail on another post if u wanna read) and tbh it has always been at the back of my mind - what did I do wrong? Why couldn't I do what women are designed to do? What if I had handled the contractions better and hadn't asked for pain relief so soon? I realised recently when I put myself through another failed induction that its not me and I feel now like its totally fine. Its difficult to explain but I feel like the second time round, I did everything I could've done and it still ended up in a section so its just the way it is for me - for some reason I can have contractions and pain but not dilation! I'm glad I took the opportunity to try again though.
Anyway, I totally understand how u have been feeling - I felt second-rate and like a failure as a woman when I had my first but now I realise that thats not the case, and its not how they get here, its what you do when they arrive that is important to babies!
Claudia + Braedon xxxxx

Mrs JB

I know exactly how you feel. I was taken for a section 2 hours into labour as they found out my baby was breech. Now like you I know it was the best for me and my baby boy (Alfie who is 10 weeks the best thing ever...). The drs old me that they encourage sections for breech esp as i was overdue and he was big (9lb6!)
But like you I feel a little cheated... I know it sounds silly but it feels as though I cheated.. I wanted to go home and labour with my hubby. I wanted to do the one thing I was designed for... I wanted to feel proud and pleased with mself for doing it on my own.. but i didn't get to any of it.
I don't have any regrets and the section was great and I recovered reall well... but I know how you feel... esp as I don't think we will be having another baby and he is my 1st (I have 2 step kids also).

I guess in my head labour was the start of being a mummy for me.. at least you did some of it, i was told I was contracting every 3 mins and I couldn't really feel them.. and waters had gone but that was it..

So I guess its best we just talk to people about how we feel, and just get to know our beautiful bubs and be thankfull that we are well and have our bubs saftley in our arms..

All the best love,

C x

yeah i can completely relate to everything you've all said so i guess it'll just take time, it's only been just over 2 weeks and nothing has had time to settle - emotionally and physically - so i guess once that happens i'll realise that it doesn't matter :-) x