Hi Ladies

My LO is nearly 4 months old and as those of you who read my birth story will know, I had a very traumatic labour and delivery. I was in full blown labour for 46 hours with a back-to-back baby and then ended up having an episiotomy and ventouse delivery. I got a third degree tear BESIDE the episiotomy and still have stitches holding everything in place 15 weeks later!!!!!! I also burst my stitches and so haven't healed properly, but that's a whole other story.

I'm at the point now where I do want to have more children, particularly as my lo is so lovely (I would say that wouldn't I). But, I don't think I could go through the pain of labour again - it was so intense and for so long. I then feel really guilty for having these feelings. I have been told that next time, I would be offered an elective caesarean, but I'm scared in case I go into labour before that as I just don't think I could take the pain again.

All these thoughts seem pretty pointless at the moment as me and my hubby can't even entertain the thought of sex yet due to me still being so sore and not healed. But nevertheless, all these thoughts are still whirring around my mind.

Did anyone else go through this or is it just me? Did anyone else have this urge to have more children, but felt too scared to do so? Everyone says to me that as time goes on, I'll forget the pain/experience and it'll be fine. But, I can remember the pain EXACTLY and still feel traumatised by how it all ended. My lo is totally worth it, but I just don't think I can do it again.

Floopy & Ethan
x

hey floopy, i know just how you feel. Also had a bad time and 3rd degree tear. My lo is 2 and have now started ttc no.2. I will be having an elective csection as i too couldnt face the experience again. Although the memory of the pain does fade over time it doesnt always go away completely. You just have to weigh up the options you have and decide if the possible outcomes are worth it to have another little one.

Good luck with your decision!

Lisa xx