my first was a vaginal breech delivery. I was only 21 and very scared but they had established through scans and xrays that i should be ok to deliver the baby and my obs doc was very experienced. It was a long long long labour (about 36 hours in all) with lots of things going wrong and to cut a long story short it resulted in 3 failed forceps attempts before they cut me even further and pulled her out all grey and floppy. she was rushed off but luckily came back to me about 15 mins later fine and well. I was stitched in and out and could not sit down for weeks.
When i fell preg 2 years later i was so scared. The circs around birth were not ideal(OH in very bad way due to cancer ) and i was in mess. I was induced at 37 weeks and literally chris popped out a few hours later. It was a perfect birth and he only grazed me when he flew out so fast!!!My OH did live and got better after lots of chemeo and ops. We were told no more kids due to the chemeo so imagine our shock when 10 years later I discovered I was pregnant.
My 3rd was back to back and bloody hurt but was OK. My 4th was fast and furious and ended in him been rushed to NICU to have stomach pumped due to swallowing meconium and my heamorraging and needing the crash team and a transfusion.
My 5th was my most horrific and I am still getting flash backs and night sweats about it now. I was diagnosed with placenta previa with accreta at about 33 weeks.I live in the Middle East and the hosp I was under could not cope with my condition so I was handed my notes and told to find a specialist who could help.....Luckily I did. I was due to go in to hosp at 35 and half weeks for bedrest and a section at 37 weeks. On the night of my 35th week I felt very ill. I had not felt baby move all day and really should have gone to hosp a lot sooner. I went to bed and woke few hours later to feeling all wet. | stood out of bed and felt a whoosh......presumed my waters had gone but looked down and saw blood all over the floor. With previa once you start to bleed you will not stop till either your dead or the baby is delivered!!! We live in Bahrain and ambulances are next to useless. My OH rushed me to car with a towel between my legs which was slowly turning red........ i lost the plot totally. i really thought i was going to die. I was thrashing around hitting my OH as he was driving and looking at this towel getting redder and redder. It took 15 mins to get to hosp but felt like forever. I rang my consultant on the way and luckily got him out of bed. He was very shocked and said to meet him there. We got to hosp first and the staff were useless. i was screaming at them and starting to feel very weak and ill. At last he arrived and screeched to all the nurses to get lines into my elbowy bit, neck and one in my ankle! He tried to find hb for baby but could not and looked very grave and said he was sorry but it was not looking good and to get into theatre immed. I was rushed to theatre and could just see my OH face and all the overhead lights flashing. I was cryign and telling OH I loved him and the kids and he was telling me not to do this to him!!! He was not allowed in theatre and once I was in I started to shake and be violently sick. I was given medication and told I would need epidural and they did not dare risk GA due to me been sick. The neonatologist arrived so they proceeded. I was convinced the baby was dead and I too woould die. However, they pulled out a little thing covered in white vermix and she let out a little meooiw.... she was rushed to corner and they started hitting her on chest and resusitating her.She had stopped breathing and was given a very low apgar. All i could to was watch from my table. After about 15 mins she was breathing on her own and was rushed off to SCBU (this hosp did not have a NICU as such)

They then started to seperate my placenta. This was the bit that they had warned me about. I told them to take it all away as after 5 kids \i was done. \however, the placenta did come away and my bleeding was not too bad. I was sterlised and stitched up. During this time I thought i had seen the nurse come in and shake her head. again i thought my baby was dead. i just lay there and cried. i was shivering with shock and blood loss. i was took to recovery and my oh was there waiting. he looked awful . i said...is she dead and he was like..nooo she is fine. a little cold and in an incubator and getting some oxygen but fine. she was 5lb 7oz and bloody gorgeous. she was in SCBU for a week as needed phototherapy and could not mantain her temp very well. she was brought to me for feeds as it is a small hosp and my room was only across from the special care. i had a long recovery and felt ill and down for a long long time. she is 6 months now and i still shudder when i think back to how i thought i had lost her...it was just dreadful.
i glad i done as i would not want to go through that ever again.

However, IF you have had traumatic birth and plan more kids some day then I suggest you meet with your consultant to go over your delivery to see what went wrong and why and to get reassurance that things can and will be different. My first was awful and my 2nd a breeze..just goes to show!!! Good Luck all

d xx

[Modified by: dee dee on 07 September 2008 12:37:29 ]

[Modified by: dee dee on 08 January 2009 05:07:42 ]

Dee,

I didn't realise. We've obviously spoken so much and exchanged so many stories over the last 6 months and I knew your labour hadn't gone well and had started badly, but I never knew the extent of it all.
I'm genuinely not an emotional person when I read posts on here, it's rare that I "well up" or cry etc, (I do feel sorry for people, I'm not heartless, but I'm just not very emotional in that sense, you know me so I'm sure you know what I mean) but I couldn't help but cry when I read your story. I had no idea what you and Amelia went through and how close your family were to losing all of you. You cope so incredibly well now and manage your family with such ease and I just don't know how you do it. I think you are an amazing person and Amelia and the rest of your family are so lucky to have you.
x

Dee

Hats of to you! I mean you are sooo brave to go through all this and in a foreign land. I have known you from your posts for the past 8-9 months as a very calm, understanding and a soft personality...but never knew your real past. I have admired the soft corner you have for others and the way you assure and give (should I say) an elder sisterly advises and comforts to all of us here. I myself have ranted of on something nowhere near to the trauma as you' ve had. I admire you and your strenght even more from today!

god bless you and your family

xx
Bubbly

thanks girls...some lovely things you have said.
TBH... \i wrote it down one night \i was feeling a bit low. OH is wanting an active sex life again and I just get a bit panicky thinking about sex. My scar is still sore and I just not 'there' yet!!!! Writing it down was good for me as felt like it got it off my chest a bit. I didnt do it to fish for compliments or symapthy..honest!!!!! Life throws us all some shit and its how we cope with it that molds us into the people we are! I think anyone who goes through childbirth...good of bad ...deserves a medal!!!

d xxxx

oh deniese i really want to reply to this but i cant even find the words and i can barely see the screen for all the tears in my eyes!
you are sooooooooooo brave, it must have been the worst time of your life. you and amelia are very special and very very lucky, im going to stop now otherwise ill be going on and on while i blub away!
i hope it made you feel better writing it all down, i know it worked for me
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

it is theraputic (sp) to write it down and then read it. I never posted my true birth story at time as i was one of the first to deliver out of us lot and \i didnt want to freak you all out!!!

I feeling much better now tho I still shudder sometimes when i think back.

I love all my kids but am soooo glad I never having anymore.

dxxxx

can i just say that Amelia is now 13 months and I have not thought of her birth in ages...

things do get better in time!!

I am enjoying her way to much to spend time worrying about how she got here.

so anyone who has just had a traumatic one and is reading this...it does get better HONEST!!!!!

d xxx

also...this shows how well I am doing. I am now remembering some funny bits.

A lady was stood thed end of the bed while I was been prepped for surgery. She had a bottle of talc and a bic razor. I was like WTF!! My consultant looked at her then back to my lady bits which were on full show as they were monitoring the bleeding (lovely eh?) and he chased her out the room. I later found out that this was her only job...to shave the ladies for theatre.... she was petrified when the consultant chased her and really upset.

She as a teeny filipino woman and he is a huge Indian man! It was just so funny as she stood there with the bic and the talc getting chased out of my room...
maybe you had to be there..lol???

d x