i have always felt that i would like to be a full time mum/house wife and for as long as i can,maybe indefinatly-till all kids in full time school.as we want a few kids.
am pregnant with first baby and since i have told people i am not going back to work,very few peoople understand that.
i get ' dont you want to contribute to society?' or ' you ant get good pension,as not contributing' or ' what?!,not work,what will you do allday?'
this really angers me as i want to raise and be there for my children full time,why do i have to justify this,why do i want to pay a childminder hundreds when i can do myself? thats how i fel i no some people want to go back or have too and i respect that,but this is my choice.
this is what i normally say to people,but im just so shocked by reactions! im sure alot of people will say i shouldnt care and i dont in a way as it hasnt put me off,but im fed up of arguing my point,anyone have experience of this?

YES. I have had this and i totally understand where ur coming from. i WILL be there for my children for as long as i want. The time goes so fast as it is, i want to spend as much as i can with them. As soon as they start school then uv lost that feeling that they are exclusively urs as u loose them to a teacher for best part of the day. So why would i wanna pay a stranger to do that for me sooner? Unfortunately u will always get this reaction from people and there is nothing u can do about it.

i understand that some people dnt have the choice and have to work and i feel for them but i will stay at home with my kids

Take care, stick to ur guns and enjoy it!!

Elaine xx

i just dont see why people are funny about it, we are staying at home to raise our kids! not sitting on our bums! i just dont discuss it with people like this anymore as long as my husband and i are happy with plan,thats all that matters.

The MOST important job in the world is raising wonderful, responsible people who will benefit our society and the world around them. By taking care after your children you are giving your child a good start, but remember all the important people this will influence. You are helping to give someone else a wonderful spouse (your child), a good best friend, a hard working and responsible employee, a good parent, and nurturing a life long relationship. Now I appreciate there are many ways to do this, and each parent and child has to figure out what works for them. If staying at home and being a full time mum is your choice that is a huge contribution to our society and the people who will be close to your child, not to mention your child and your family. People speak with out thinking and just say what they read in a newspaper or whatever. If they actually thought about it it's silly to do anything but encourage and support mothers to raise their children the best they can.

Good luck

Also I have found you can't win on this. If you stay at home people call you lazy and not contributing. If you go to work they say you are abandoning and neglecting your children. You can't win ... and just to note those are not my opinions just what I have said to me.:\?

OMG i can't believe you have had this response. I have total respect for you staying at home and dedicating yourself to your children and your home! Bringing up lovely children is a contribution to society. If more parents spent more time dedicated to their kids we might in fact have a nicer society instead of such a materialistic one and one with such demanding needy kids!
I work part-time evenings and I have to say the bit where i stay at home all day is the bit i find hard work. ( I hope you don't mind me crashing your forum!) I've always worked out of necessity not choice since my kids were born but tbh now with 2 kids i find it is a real struggle and its a real relief when my hubby comes home and i go to work.
its funny the government spend so much money on tax credits to get people to work and to pay for other people to pay to look after our children - i never understand why they just don't pay the person the money direct to look after their own child!!
All those lovely things you get to do with your kids. their childhood speeds by fast enough as it is - i'm still shocked that anyone would say those things. I know many people have no choice but many people do have a choice. i know someone who barely sees her children (both under 5) because she works all hours and then when she goes on holiday she goes with her oh and leaves the kid with the grandparents - to me THAT is odd. why bother having kids?!

i tottally understand where your coming from m daughter is 4 months old and i am and will continue to b a ft mummy i dont want her to be passed around and dont want to miss out on anything my oh tottally supports me :)

I am a full time mum to three, and I say good luck to you if you decide to be a full time mum. Some people are very narrow minded these days(my husbands family in particular!!) They all seem to think that I'm making my hubby do too much or that I'm putting too much pressure on him to earn enough. What I don't think they realise is the cost of child care for three children, not only would I NOT earn enough to cover it but think of the tax we would get on our wages as my hubby earns a good amount!!!!
As for the people that think we do nothing all day, well just tell them to sod off-its bloody hard work being a full time mum, keeping house etc you get no let up from the demands of your kids(I'm not trying to put you off) but these nosey buggers just don't see it, they think we just sit on our bums watching tv....well I'm sorry but I'm lucky to get a hot coffee and a sit down once a week!!!!(sorry rant over)
If you need to get some help in the way of benifits go for it as your obviously hard working as I always say " My kids are no'1 and their needs come first over EVERYTHING"
You can set up a relatively cheap pension plan through many private companies(watch out for con men though!)
I am lucky enough to be included in my hubbys work one as we used to work together. If you have life insurance the other thing is to also get a WILL done so you are covered in any event.
Good luck with your pregnancy hon
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

dont worry about the contrabuitions afecting your pension you will still get it as they will be payed for by the goverment intill your youngest is 12 years old, i have posted about this in the family finance forum.
im thinking when charlie is a little older i might go back to working a few nights a week again as i did this when justin was really small and it helped me as being in the house all day every day became a bit much. i havent been back to work now for over 4 years which is when i left due to being pregnant with maya. i looked into it and because of hubbys earnings we wouldnt get help with child care and it would cost close to £1000 a month for both the kids to go to childminders even more once charlie is here. so i would need to be earning this after tax and NI any less than this and we would be worse of. then how much on top of this is needed for it to be worth me actualy leaving my kid all day from 8am - 6pm i cant find a number high enough its just not worth it x