Hi, Im Vikki 8+2 weeks pregnant!

I have just booked an app. @ the hosptial for something not pregnacy related, but I did mention it! The Lady on the phone asked "How old are you?" So I replied, 19 & then I got " Aww still a baby yourself!!! ". This has really annoyed me, how can somebody on the otther end of a phone line judge if I am "still a baby?!?" I felt like saying, "well infact, I am in a stable/happy long term relationship, I have a good job, my own car, my own house... So infact, no I am not a baby, I am more than capable of looking after my child-to-be, so BUTT OUT!!!!"

I think us young mum's (to-Be..) are looked down on to often, & infact are more than capable of caring for our children, more than many mum's that are in there 30's / 40's!!!

So anybody reading this who doesn't approve of Young Mum's, don't judge a book by it's cover!!!!!!

Vikki
8+2 x

i totally agree i feel that if a body is naturally capable to have a baby then its meant to although this is a controversial opinion, but in the days of shakespeare etc women were getting married and having children at 14 its a difficult subject but who is anyone to judge a parental ability on age?

It's my first run in with someone who's had this opinion! But I'm sure they'll be many more in the future!!!

I'll just ignore them & prove them wrong!!!

But I really think it's easier for people to judge you, than try & get to know you!!

I know ther are mum's in there 30's who are not capable of looking after there children! You see them on Jermemy Kyle all the time!! ha!!

Vikki
8+2 x

Hi Vikki,
Your post just made me giggle, but it is absolutely true! I had my first midwife appointment last week and went to the reception to book my next visit. The receptionist asked how i was getting on and then said 'ooohhh your so young' then looked on my file and said 'and your only 20!' Ohhhh shock horror. I mean my height doesn't help as i am quite short, but in years gone by it was the norm to have a child at our age.
How is the pregnancy going for your? Had any symptoms?

Emily- 9 weeks
xx

[Modified by: emily100 on July 30, 2008 07:05 PM]</p>

[Modified by: emily100 on July 30, 2008 07:06 PM]</p>

Oh how annoying! silly woman dnt know what shes on about!
How dare she! its not her job to commednt like that! ide have complained!
you sound like u have your head totally screwed on hun and a good stable life! and good for you!
All the best with your pregnacy!
mwah
xxx

haha i just laugh at people who think that, it use to upset me alot when i was pregnant and people made comments, but i know im a great mum...better than alot of other mums i know and have met lol so i dont care what their opinions are. people now will look at tegan in her pushchair and smile and then look up to smile at me and realise im only 19 and then give me a funny look and they get that same funny look back along with a comment if im having a bad day lol x

i had a good few rude comments when i was preg. and ended up putting in a complaint to woolworths as some rude till lady couldnt keep her opinions to herself. people can be so patronisig sometimes and as has already been said, in days gone it was commonplace for people of our age to have babies. Its simply that the population of mums has actually got older but do we go around to older people and say how they're too old to have babies...no way, we have much more respect than that. This is a sore subject for me as i look very young for 22, (i was 20 when preg, 21 when gave birth) and even now i get looks and i know its not me being paranoid, but i am really in my opinion a brilliant mum and people that do know me know this. When i was preg i remember walking through a town center and some middle aged woman pointing and whispering, oohh just remembering other people in my pregnancy makes me cross! i think we'll all have to start walking round with signs on our backs so people will know before being rude..... grrr rant over, for now! xxx

I new this would be a touchy subject for others, & not just me!!!

Emily - I'm 8+3 today (I think!!!) My first preg. No real symptons, sore boos, very tired & really snappy!! Don't no how my OH has coped!! got my first midwife app 12/8 & scan 2/9!

It's nice to hear other peopel rant over this! I'm sure they'll be alot more for me in the future!! I also look quiet young for my age! I always get asked for ID when I go out!!

The thing that's annoyed me most, is that this receptionist hasn't even met me!! This convo. was over a phone call!!!!

My sister was the same age as me when she had her first, & she's a perfect mum, a million times better than some of the older mum's I know!!

& Also, I went to a TakeThat Tribute night on Saturday, & saw loads of older mum's drinkin alcohol!!!!! I don't agree with that one bit!! I didn't drink a drop!!

Yet another rant over....

Vikki
8+3 x

i know exactly how you feel. im 17 and 24wk+2 i get people judging me all the time but im in a long term stable relationship and my baby was planned. i know i can cope i looked after my younger sister (11) and older brother (18) when i was younger plus all the experience of babysitting, i hate revealing my age to people but now i just think stuff it im not ashamed why should i be?? its my life ill do what i want to do, i dont live with my mum i live with anthony, im independent and mature so why should i care what people think?? at least im happy. and the good thing about being young and having a baby is knowing i got good gcses a couple of years ago and can still plan a career in a few years. good luck young mums. katie xx

I was 19 carrying my first and 21 with my 2nd and It annoys me when people make assumptions. When i was pregnant with my first an old friend of my mother's said to me "You're living down the flat's now are you?" (please, this is not in any way meant as offensive towards anyone who lives in a flat,it is just an example of other peoples attitudes) I just laughed at her and told her no me and my oh have a mortgage and own our own house and also made a point of telling her how it was not long til i finished work for maternity leave, because no doubt she had me down for a scrounger, lol. i also get sick of some people who tell me i'm lucky to have a house and how much they struggle etc. I like reminding those people that me and my oh have worked bloody hard to have what we've got and to provide well for our children, luck just doesn't come into it x

Hiya Vikki, i no how u feel, i am 19 and almost 28 weeks with my first. What really gets me is that these people dont know who we are, nothing about us and yet the judge? I posted a topic on the pregnancy forum last week, about gettin stared at and looked at in disgust when i went baby shopping, all because i am pregnant. I am at uni, and also working 21 hours a week, probably do more than half of these ppl yet they feel they can judge it is a joke!! i was really upset when i got home but after talking to my boyfriend, i realised...u no what let them judge because their opinion doesnt matter to me, im going to be having a gorgeous little girl in October and im going to be a loving mum. I understand how u feel hun, dont let these cranks get u down!!!

Love Steph 27+6 xxxx

im 23, and 34 weeks pregnant, and the other day i got id'd for the lottery, i mean seriously... lol.
it feels as though everyones looking down on you at the midwife centre and hospital just because you look young, i wish i could turn around and show them my wedding ring and say 'actually 23's quite old to be starting a family, isnt it, well back in your day anyway'.. lol

Thank god it's not only me!!

I HATE these people!! I'm dreading getting my big bump & getting stared at!! I'm a very shy person, so for people to be looking @ me, I'd hate it!!!

But we just have to prove them wrong & do the best we can!!

I'm getting my first set of symptoms today!! Feeling very sick

Vikki
9+0 x

Hi
reading all your comments has made me feel soooo much better! im 21, my husband is 29 have been married for 2 months (together for 5years) and we are just trying for our first!
As we have just go married people always say-ooohhh your not having kids yet are you your far to young for that-and i really want to say actually we are! (but were not telling anyone-3month rule and all that)
We have been living together for 4 years and are just buying our 2nd home and we are 110% ready for children and soo excited. Problem is i feel like i keep having to explain myself to people all the time.

sorry rant over!
x:\)

As a 30 year old woman I find your comments about us not being able to look after our kids quite offensive.

Yes OK, you can cope ( well you hope you can, until the baby gets here you won't actually know in all fairness)
Babysitting and helping raise a sibling does not count as motherhood and the harsh reality of it is very very different.

Now before you jump on the fact you are young, I was 18 when I had my first and I found it terribly hard work, I am actually finding it much much easier this time.
I wouldn't say a young mum is infact more capable at all. Many a younger mum ends up relying on a family member to help out, or friends.

I do understand the whole looking down on young mums, but you are doing the same with your comments about older mums chick. You are judging and assuming you will be better.

Congratulations on all you have acheived. I had all that when I was 18 too, didn't mean parenthood was a breeze though.

Oh and on Jezza there are equally as many young mums who can't/don;t look after their kids, same as dads.

hello. i felt like everyone looked down on me when i was pregnant iam 18 and have a 3 month baby me and my partner being together 3 years. its nice now thou when i can prove everyone wrong my little boy so good he sleeps thro and is such a happy boy he has a routine and i cope just aswell as anyone older! iam glad i had him young ill have plenty of energy to run around after him when he is older. good luck vikki with the baby !!

I dont think it can be put down to age as to how you'll cope with parenthood, but i just think Vikki was making a point that all different ages of mums can have difficulties, not just young mums. I had my 1st at 20 and 2nd at 21 and from my personal perspective that was the right time and age for me, i would not have wanted to have children when i was 30/40 years of age. However everyone is different and i am in no way saying that 30/40 is too old, it is just not the age i would have chosen to have children whilst no doubt it is the perfect time for loads of other women. I dont think this thread was meant to offend and i apologise if any of my posts were taken as offensive. Its all down to personal choice as to what age we have children ,no-one has the right to judge whether it be 15 or 50 x

i am an older mum (30) but i dont feel it. Anyway, my best friend was 20 when she had her son so hes 10 now and she has been a BRILLIANT single mum. her dad died when she was very young and her mum died when she was about 22 so she had to cope with a hell of a lot on her own. Now she is off to Uni and i am just in awe of her and all young mums. Nobody should look down on you just because you are having a baby a bit earlier than other people. As long as you do the best you can for your babies you deserve respect.

Hi Viki

Same happened to me at the job centre!!
The cheek!!
I went in to ask for the maternity grant form and she said "how old are you" i said 18 she said "your 18 and pregnant" i said "yes got a problem with that" she just got me the grant form and walked off.. i was so upset and mad, just because we are young mum's doesn't mean that people can de-grade on us about it, i havent got everything you have viki but i've got a stable relationship & my own house..!!

I hate people that judge people by there cover its just not right..!
When i see the woman now in the job centre she just walks away, i didn't put in a complaint as i didn't want her to know it got to me she isn't worth it one bit! So i just laugh when i see her!!

Hope all goes well..
Danii
xxXxx

its not that bad-19 is quite young (not saying its wrong, im just saying its young). When i had my twins last year the sonographer said how old are you and i said 24, he said 'wow, still a child yourself' in a serious tone, i was like whaaaat?! and just gave him a weird look and thought, hardly! How old are we supposed to be to have children then?!!

i was 18 when i had my first and 19 almost 20 when i had my second and just had my 3rd at 21. im lucky iv never had any comments but then every1 who knew me, knew i was a very mature 18 yr old. I have had plenty of stares from strangers but dont let it bother me.

in fact im proud!!

Elaine and boys xx