Hi ladies,

Just wanted your opinions really! For the past few weeks I've been feeling a bit low and tearful. My little girl is now nearly 9 months old and is a very happy, pleasant, easy going baby normally, but has had a few tough nights with teething and I think that set things off. The other night she didn't settle at all til about 11pm (had to eat dinner with her on my lap) and after that I was really wound up and found myself sobbing downstairs for half an hour.

I have been so worried that I was suffering PND that I spoke to the HV and she came down for a chat which was great. She seemed to think that it maybe wasn't PND but just exhaustion and too much on. Basically my husband is a self employed farmer (we run our own farm) and we are in the middle of trying to set up a new business of a Farm Shop and Cafe, which we have LITERALLY built from scratch. It has been a huge project and my hubby is doing alot of the work himself to keep costs down, but this means that he has little time to spare with lo. He works a 7 day week from 6.30am til about 10pm stopping for meals during that time. He does have cuddles and time with lo but as she has been bf since birth I have done all the night feeds, bath/bed routine, all night checks etc. I also have her all day and I think he's changed 6 nappies, because there is so much work on at the moment.

I also have alot of involvement with the business and do the farm accounts, new business paperwork, research suppliers, chase grant funding, ring people and have just been completing a huge spreadsheet of information which will operate the tills. Now Ellen is more active and needs entertaining I tend to do all my paperwork and computer work at night after I've made tea, so tend to finish just in time to give her a dream feed about 10.30-10.45pm. Also if my mum is free to babysit for a bit during the day - i have to try and get things done then like go to shops or have meetings with bank managers or catering equipment suppliers! We are just so busy I've no idea why we decided to have a baby at the same time.

I also do the house work (well not as often as I should) and cook all the meals. OH does offer, but I also have a horrible guilt thing that I should be able to organise my time to have meals ready for him (breakfast, lunch and dinner) when he's been working so hard all day. I just feel a bit stressed at times, particularly when Ellen doesn't settle straight away, and find myself getting cross with her, when I know she's just a little girl with sore gums!

Do you think it's PND or was the HV right! Sorry for the essay!

Rachael:\?

You sound like wonder woman to me.
I can sympathise with the self employed part as both me and hubby are and we lost our business partner to a bleed on the brain when I was 6 months pregnant, we are lucky that we have managed to rework things to allow for better workng hours.
I would say it is a matter of overloading yourself and probably not having any time left for you.
I am suffering with depression at the minute and the best bit of advice I have been given is to try and make a little time each day to do something for yourself (like having a bath or reading a mag).
I know this is difficult when you have so much to do but you also need to remember that if you burn out and fall ill you will be no help so slow down see if you can get some help maybe from family and stop beating yourself up because unless you have developed super powers no-one could keep going at that pace!
Also don't bottle things up (my biggest mistake) keep talking about your feelings/worries and solve any problems before they build.
Hope things improve, take care xx