Hi all

Im in a quandry about whether to use a dummy or not. My littlin wont sleep in the afternoon, and doesnt settle when picked up or rocked etc. However, he will settle if I let him suck my finger and hes always trying to suck his hand. I am terrified if I give him a dummy he will get into the habit of not being able to sleep without it. Should I avoid it at all costs and tough it out?? How do I get him out of this constant need to suck for comfort and be able to sleep on his own??

We started using a dummy for Morgana when she was very colicky. At that point anything that could soothe a permanently crying baby was good for us. She is now 9 months old and only has her dummy when she is very unsettled when she is trying to go to sleep, at night or during the day, but not all the time as she often just settles herself without any help. She never has her dummy during the day when she is awake now and when she actually finds one in her cot after waking up she only plays with hit. I don't think you can just condemn dummies, I think they can help babies and their parents a lot as long as the use is situational.

I felt like you once but now give my lo a dummy to settle her to sleep. In fact they recommend you do to help prevent cot death.

I now give my lo (6 months) one to help her sleep during the day for naps and if she needs it at night. I don't see anything wrong with it if it helps comfort your lo - and helps you as well!

I think as long as you can try and wean them off it at around 18-24 months you should be ok. MAM do some very good soothers for newborns and 4+ months as do Tommee Tippee closer to nature.

Don't feel guilty about using one -I certainly don't!!

Dummies are definitely a good thing. They help settle my lo when he's upset or going to sleep. You would be like a zombie walking round all night trying to settle a baby and moody for it! I would def go with the dummy, you'll be glad you did! x

I can see your point. God if he had colic Id shove anything in there that kept him happy. Did you breast feed? My littlin is only three weeks and the HV reckons a dummy could cause issues with him feeding.

Your better off giving your lo a dummy then this thumb because you cant take a thumb away and ive seen mums gutted that they chose this method when their 7/8 yr old was still sucking their thumb!! Its always meant to help avoiding cot death which to me was a big thing!

I think as it doesnt come a prop youll be fine! Just use it as of when its necessary. I think every baby needs some comforter x

well my lo has always had a dummy as he started to put his thumb in his mouth at about 4 weeks so i'd prefer him to suck a dummy rather than his thumb as a) you can take a dummy away b) my friend always sucked her thumb and its now deformed c) dummies are supposed to help reduce the risk of SIDS as it regulates a babies breathing.

They recomend a baby is off a dummy by a year, so i'm going to be thinking about weaning Shea off his very soon so i'll let you know how that goes!!

I bottle fed but have read that breast fed babies can be given a dummy after 4 weeks. I suggest Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature dummies for 0-6 months. They do look huge but I gave my lo these when very young and she like them. Now she's 6 months she prefers the MAM ones. She does not get on with latex teats and will only have silicone ones!

Yeah, my lo will only take the closer to nature ones even though he is bottlefed. Have tried others cos they look nicer but they just fall out of his mouth. I think little babies can keep the TT ones in easier or the cherry ones as they have a bigger teat. x

I breast fed for first three months and Shea had a dummy and it never interfered with his feeding
x

So why am I getting brow beaten by every MW and HV about using one (Ive had more than one of each since getting home).

Because they like to make you feel bad about something.

I think it depends on the baby, my mum only gave me a dummy at night to settle etc, when that was taken away I replaced it with my thumb. My lo sucks her thumb, has never had a dummy. When she's too old to be doing it, I cross that bridge. Do whats right for you and your lo. Sod your mw or hv, they don't/can't know everything, no one can, they only know what they know. some don't even have kids x x

[Modified by: hayls on July 10, 2008 05:13 PM]

All hv's are different. My hv suggested I use a dummy at 4 weeks to give me a break as I was using my finger like you!
She just reminded me to wean her off it when she was about 12 months or so

toby is bf and has had a dummy from 3 weeks it has never caused any promblems with his feeding.

hi fin was bf and he had a dummy the day we got home from the hospital (tut tut) he had cronic reflux and it helped so much!! he used to have it when he wanted it but since about 7 months he only has it to sleep with or when he is poorly/ hurt

This might sound like a realy stupid question (it is realy) but how do I tell if hes still hungry (if its been close to a feed) or if he just wants to suck something? As up untill now when hes been fussy in the afternoons and not settleing the only thing that has helped him is putting him back on the breast so I perusmed he was still hungry. Will he feed even if hes not hungry just for the comfort of sucking?? How do I tell the difference?????? Can you tell Im new at this and havnt a clue!!

hello,

we havent used a dummy as yet, have thought about it at times when lo has had trouble getting off to sleep. like someone else has mentioned she does occasionally suckjust below her thumb. If I do need it to help comfort at night, then we wil buy one. I would only use it to help her get to sleep. I cant stand seeing babies who go around with a dummy in their mouth just to shut them up. When they most probably just want attention. Just ike i hate to see people pushing babies in the pushchairs with the child holding or having a bottle in their mouths. (sry just my thoughts!)

My sister had a dummy and my mum found it hard getting rid of it until she was 5yrs old! Bth hr and myseklf sucked our thumbs and had to have braces as a result. I was informed that if i didnt suck my thumb my teeth would have been perfect (if only i knew that when i was 5!). Admittedly, although I gave it up and only used it on and off at night. I do recall sucking it on the odd times as a teenager if i was tired or upstet!

on the other hand lots of peole are successfukl (?sp) at breaking the habit by putting nasty tasting things on the thumb. For some reason it never worked for me, I always went back to it!

You choice at the end of the dayxxx

Hi hon - I know what you're saying about dummies, in fact I felt the same. I exclusively bf my 5 week old and had also heard about the whole nipple confusion thing aswell. I tried lo with a dummy at three weeks as he just wouldn't settle withoutbeing on the boob all the time. I also started expressing so dh could give him his last bottle at night. My lo has his dummy to settle him to sleep, it then falls out and I leave it out and he has Tommee Tippee closer to nature bottle last thing and happily has all his bf's the rest of the time.

He is in no way confused and it's great cos I know in theory I could leave him with dh while I go out. (too knackered to atm!)

hthxx

Hi Karen, Ive been doing the expressing for the last week too so the OH can do the last feed at night and the littlin drops right off to sleep after it. So I now express enough so the feed I do in the wee hours is a bottle because it saves being up for an hour while he breast feeds. He gets through it in about 15min and is straight off to sleep. If only hed do the same during the day.

Bumpety, I know exactly where you are coming from. I hate the site of todlers surgicaly attached to dummies and thats probably why Im trying to resist using one even though I know Id not let it go on that long. Besides the worry of him becoming dependent on it Im worried it will bugger up his feeding.....again, how do you tell if its actually hunger or the need to just suck?? I sucked my thumb as a kid and it didnt do my teeth any favours so I can also see the advantage of being able to take what he is sucking from him. Speak of the devil, hes off again, Id better go..

Hi - I bottle feed as i said but a baby will always let you know when hes hungry. You'll know cos hes screaming and wont take the dummy. x

hiya,i think dummies are a gud thing to use,you must do what you feel is right for you and your lo,they can be a lifesaver and they can help reduse the risk of cot death.primrose has allways had a dummy and she has no problems with anything.x