Some of you must have read that I was going on a pre-committed holiday with a group of women and was not really expecting support on the breast feeding front, and needed it since I had to pump to keep up my supply. well, the strangest thing happened, one night after dinner we were (9 of us) sitting around in the hotel lounge having an after dinner drink (I wasn't drinking though, just having coffee) and suddenly one of the girls just blasted me!

She's recently had a baby (2 months ago) and started yelling at me saying I'm trying to make her guilty for not feeding by constantly leaving the group to pump! She yelled and yelled and was so rude - making all kind of character accusations at me in front of everyone! Anyway, to make a long story short, she apologised the next morning blaming it on her guilt, but the damage was kind of done. I feel victimised and humiliated and the worse thing is, my milk stopped! Completely.

I took the next flight back and ever since I have been doing everything to bring it back. Today is day 2 but I've barely been able to nurse twice today... Am so depressed and absolutley any further advice would help... Am on mother's milk and cluster pumping... seems to be increasing, but really feeling stressed...

Sorry for the long essay, but just am so spooked!

Sorry to hear that! That's terrible! Obviously the stress is getting to you. Try and find somewhere quiet to relax. This will help you produce more milk. Hope you get your supply up soon.

Sorry I can't help as not started to bf yet and no experience. Sorry to hear you had such a bad time and had to come home early. How mean of your "friend".

I would imagine you are right and you may be stressed. Why not try to do something to de-stress? Go for a nice walk, book a head massage or something. I know it may be tricky with LO in tow but sounds like you need to relax.

You poor thing, how awful. When I replied to your last post before you went away I did say that maybe some of them were not being supportive because they felt guilty but it sounds like a horrible experience that you have been through and I am not surprised that your milk supply has suffered.
My advice would be to try to put it all to the back of your mind (easier said than done I know) and let us all tell you how wonderful you are - and you really are for caring so much for your baby that you express whilst away. You just have to feel proud of yourself because you are doing such a fantastic thing. Maybe if you focus on the fact that it is the other girls problem and not yours which she has admitted to. You are the one who has made such an effort and sorry to harp on but I really feel strongly that you are a selfless, great mum!!
Try and relax and feed / express as often as possible. The most important thing is to try to stop feeling down otherwise she will win and you won't get your milk back so easily. Just believe in yourself and know that you can do it and I'm sure your milk supply will increase again. xx

I am so angry on your behalf! Her feeling guilty about not bfing does not give her the right to make you feel badly and to ruin your trip. She was completely wrong and very selfish and I would have a very difficult time accepting her apology. She is no friend. Try to relax and realize that you weren't doing anything wrong and that you are a great mum!

All your posts have actually brought tears to my eyes... thank you so much. And yes, SY I remember you saying that to me - had no idea that guilt could bring on such craziness! Just keep telling myself she's probably post natal too... and I hope she'll feel better! I really hope and pray my milk comes back though...

Thanks for all your support and kind wonderful words...

I can't believe your post how awful that must have been for you. i agree with others it must be hard to forget about it but just let it go and keep doing what you are already doing and i'm sure you'll get back on track in no time.

take care x

You poor thing. I really don't think ANYONE has the right to comment on others and the way they bring up their children, no mater what we choose to do. Also I am a breast feeder, and have had some negative attitudes from people who bottle feed. Try to remember it's their insecurities and worries.
On the supply front, keep trying to feed/express. I'm sure it will come back, in time. Also call your Health Visitor and/or the NCT network of breastfeeding councillors or La Leche. they are really helpful, supportive and practical. Good luck!
Also, try changing your friends!! (joke!)

Poor you. I agree that it was probably her guilt and insecurities that made her speak to you like that but no one has a right to say things like that. I know it must be hard but try to put it to the back of your mind as the stress really will affect your milk supply. Good luck in getting it back xx

What an awful person to be so cruel. You have done/are doing a wonderful thing. Your doing whats best for your child, don't let anyone take that from you. Expressing in the bath is good. I did that my 1st couple of times because the pump scared me lol. I'm sure you'll get it back to normal, in the 1st few months when both myself and dd were very sick she hardly fed, I hardly ate and supply was short, but in time, me eating well, drinking loads etc everything went back to normal. Hope everything goes well for you x x x

oh hon!
What a stupid selfish 'friend' she is/was.

you know you are doing the best for your baby, and noone else should be allowed to make you feel bad! I think you are a wonderful, selflessly caring mother, and your lo is lucky to have you as their mum.

try to express as often as possible, as well as putting lo to the breast. Drink plenty, eat well and get some rest. Forget about your friend, and what she said for now - its not important at the moment. You can deal with her at a later date, when you feel ready to.

I can only imagine the vehemenance of her outburst for it to have stopped your milk completely. You must be devastated.
I know how hurt i was every time someone said i was silly to have continued through my honeymoon. it will take time but you can get your supply back.

I wish i could give you a hug, and tell you how wonderful you are. Just keep looking at your lo and know that you are the best mum ever.
xxxxx

I've just read this and can't believe how this woman allowed her guilt and insecurities get the better of her to such an extent that she let you have it full on!

Hope you're feeling better now and that your milk supply is increasing for your lo. As everyone else has said, it absolutely is not your problem, so try to put it to the back of your mind for now and think calm positive thoughts!

Hugsxx

Thank you so much... every time I read these replies I feel so much better... Can't believe it effected me so much, but I guess we're even more sensitive once we become mothers... Thanks for the hugs and SY, yes she was a friend - no more is. Although, I hope she finds her peace for her sake and the sake of her lo...

My milk is gradually coming back and like you all have said, I'm not going to let her win!

XX

Dear SRM

I hardly look on these forum pages nowadays but your post just got to me and I felt I had to write. It is awful what you have just gone through but great news that your supply is increasing again. I had a very difficult few weeks at the start of b/f, but yesterday our son was 10 months and he although he has dropped feeds himself over time he still b/f morning and night and it is such a good feeling knowing I persevered. I have already had people start to ask how long I intend to b/f and to be honest I don't know, I'm still amazed I got to this stage. Keep up the good work and I think you're great.

Thank you so much Denene,

This forum has helped me so much. With my first born, breast feeding was a breeze and 12 months just slipped by... I don't know why I stopped, but I think it's coz I thought I was 'supposed to'. This time now it hasn't been as easy and it's this group that has really really helped me... Thanks for making me feel so good and positive!