Hi

I've just put a post on breastfeeding forum and was advised to seek out Soda over here as you might be able to help me!

Here is my query!!

I am going to speak to my midwife about this but thought I'd run this by you ladies first.

Basically, I tried to breastfeed SBJr but for extremely personal reasons I won't go into, I found it incredibly hard and to be honest it was one of the worst experiences I've ever had!

I had no intention of bf with TJ when he/she arrives as the thought of going through what I went through with SBJr scares the living daylights out of me!

Now - here's my question. Can I exclusively express?? That surely would solve the problem of wanting to give TJ the breastmilk but not having to go through the physical aspect that I just can't do.

Is it possible?

I exclusively expressed for about 7 weeks, probably would have done longer but started to get border post natal I think and needed medication. Luckily I had lots of milk and used to express enough for 2 feeds at a time I to used to freeze any leftover milk in avent beaker things (made up to enough for a feed and defrosted in warm water. It does smell a little but it is fine and baby used to take it fine. I used the avent ISIS Breast Pump the only reason I stopped was because I felt very depressed as the only support I had at the time was hubby and he was at work, used to get stressed at the thought of feeding baby and being able to express in time etc. Also first time mom. Also breasts used to get full very quickly as I had so much milk and always felt sore. If I had to do it again this time I would not get so stressed. Eventually had to go onto medication for my own mental health fortunately once I started bottle feeding did feel a lot better although had a lot of guilt at not being able to give breast milk, but hey my little boy is great and healthy gave him the Aptamil formula. You could always try doing half and half. There is a good book called exclusively pumping breast milk by Stephanie Casemore. If you want to borrow I can post it out to you, as long as I can get it back once you have had a good look. I did not get much support from any organisations as they tried to persuade me to feed myself, but I just could not manage. Hopefully this time with the twins I will be more successful as I have lots of friends who are breast feeding. Hope this helps leave a note on this site if you have any other questions or email justineainsworth@yahoo.co.uk. Good Luck it can be done xxxx

wow - that is great! thanks so much.

I hadn't even considered expressing exclusively as its never offered as an option.

How did you cope with the first feed? I seem to remember SBJr needed a feed straightaway but you surely don't have time to express after birth!!

I would have thought that you could, I tried to feed first couple of days, but then by about day 3 baby was hungry so he did have a bottle until I got started on expressing. If you think about it prem babies who cant latch on yet women express and babies with cleft palets their mums express. Make sure you take you breast pump into hospital and explain to them your situation. Just try as long as you can anything is better than nothing, and if you only do it for a short time and then resort to bottle dont beat yourself up about it. The book I mentioned is really good. Remember you will need to express initially about every 4 hours to get milk supply established. When baby needed feeding at night hubby used to feed and I would express at same time, it is hard work but worth it. Im glad I did it even tho is was only for 7 weeks, and would definately do it again. In this book some women do it for at least a year. I remember expressing in Mothercare and in the car in a layby. Dont forget to make sure your breastpump fits into steraliser. Make sure you know how to put it together before going into hospital to as y midwife put it togehter wrong that why it took so long for me to start expressing as I thought my milk was not coming through but she had put it together wrong. Email if you have any other questions no matter how silly or obvious. When baby due?.

Thank you again for your help! You've really inspired me and I reckon I can do this.

I'm going to buy that book (thanks for the offer of the loan) and do lots of research on this before speaking to my midwife.

Baby is due on Jan 2nd so I have plenty of time to make a final decision - this just seems to be the obvious solution

I got book from www.expressyourselfmums.co.uk £15.00 but def worth it. Just do what is right for yourself and baby, noone else, and if it doesnt work out at least you have tried. Your the mum you know what is best, and if people say its hard or you wont do it, dont listen. It wasnt that bad or hard just as long as you can have some support intially until you get a routine going. It does not hurt to express and I found the pump fine, in the end i could do it in minutes standing up or reading through a magazine, pop your top up and away you go, people just comment becuse they have never done it for themselves. Best of luck get in contact again.

After lots of searching on the internet it seems that is the only UK website you can get the book from!

I'm actually feeling excited about this - was dreading the whole breast v bottle thing!

i expressed for the first 7 wks as my girls were prem and they were tube feed. then they wouldnt take to my breast so i was still expressing even when i was at special care. i had no milk hardly to start with then after getting into a routine and being strick with doing every three hours my milk came in and i had loads. but by 7 wks i found it hard, i had no time when the girls came home after 5 wks to express and bottle feed them. and my milk was running out, so i started to cut the feeds, one breastmilk bottle, oneformula, and dont forget that u can mix formula and breast milk....
i think expressing isnt a problem at all and u do what u have to do, and dont worry about others its ur baby your body

I used to work with teenage mums and one of the mums expressed for 4 months as her baby couldnt feed off her....I think she only had a manual pump but it seemed to work well.

thanks ladies - so nice to hear some positive stories! I've had quite a bit of negative comments from some people I have mentioned it to (away from this website!) and was hoping for more support.

I'm 31, already have a child but for some reason I've found so many people patronise me about this and other things! I know its going to be hard - but treating me like a child who has no idea is insulting!!

Sorry didn't mean to rant! Just fed up with new first time mums with young kids patronising me - er....has anyone noticed I've been a mother for over 11yrs!!!

Sorry - ranting again!!

Thanks so much for your support - its great!!

rant away thats what this site is for......
i found it hard to bottle feed as the breast feeding nurse at special care unit was basically telling me i wasnt being a 'real' mum by bottle feeding and that my twins would never bond with me... what a load of crap i say, yes i found it hard bonding but anyone that couldnt take their children home for 5wks would feel the same.... but my girld love me to bits, and hate me leaving the room.... so i dont think they had any problems bonding with me... yes breast is ment to be best but ur giving it to them in a bottle its the same thing, just not from ur nipple thats all... so i dont know why so many mums rave and rave and rave...... i clap hands to all mums that do i think its great that u can but if u cant then you cant but if ur expressing its the same thing, just its not the baby taking the milk from you its a machine, but the baby still gets it.....
i didnt get a hard time from my friends, they all understood, and when i gave up breast milk all together they were all very supportive. my father in law gave me a bit of an ear bashing but what right does he have.......

I think people give you a hard time because they are jealous. I have a 10 1/2 month old and am 5 months preg with twins, and all I seem to get is how you going to manage, etc etc blah blah blah. Have they been though it themselves "no" so shut up. I am so excited to be pregnant with twins when I mention I am going to try and breast feed, but if I cant will express for as long as I can, lots of people say just give them a bottle its easier, what do they know, your the mum you know best. Well thats my rant anyway, so us expressing women just stick together. Those who havent given me a hard time no who they are (highlandfea).

hehe - glad its not just me having a rant!

thank you again - I don't think you guys have any idea how much you really have helped me.

I'm a stubborn cow at the best of times and don't give up easily. You'd think people who know me would know that much at least!

I admit I still have my doubts but having negativity about it being thrown at me isn't going to help. Ironically its breastfeeding mums I know who preach breast is best who have been negative - that threw me I have to confess. I thought they'd be most supportive! As you say, baby will still be getting my milk so does it matter how?

Just one thing which is scaring me - when I breastfed SBJr it brought on bad PND. He was 6 days old when I started bf him and had been fine until that point then went downhill rapidly. This is one of the reasons I can't bf TJ cos scared it'll happen again

Could expressing have the same effect?

I dont know but just because you had PND with first baby doesnt mean it will happen with new baby?! Dont be scared each baby is so different, and your hormones may not react the same this time, why dont you just see what happens or speak to your health visitor/GP about your worries, maybe even talking it through will prepare you dont forget this is your second baby your older and wiser and will spot the signs of PND take each day as it comes. Jordan had PND but not with her second baby didnt she?, like you have been doing do your research and enjoy your pregnacy dont worry about something that has not happened. XXXX Dont tell people what you are going to do, if they ask say you havent decided yet just want to enjoy being pregnant first, will worry about that when the time comes.

thanks Soda - will have a ponder and speak to the midwife xx

i had pnd with my twins, but alot of it was down to them being early and people on at me all the time at hospital to breastfeed and the added presure of having two at once and people keep say oh twind u must find it hard to manage and it just got me down in the end....
then when the girls were sick at christmas and i couldnt take them out i got so down and it sent me over te edge. as long as u look after ur self and know the signs u will be fine. if u let u oh know and ur midwife/ health isitor they can keep an eye on u...... but as soda says each birth of a aby is different.... if u just do what u want and not tell ur friends what u are doing then u will find u wont get stressed. if they see it working for u they wont say any thing but telling them now when baby isnt here gives them the chance to make u feel bad cos u dont have the eidence to support it....