hi finally found people who are around my age(yes). im 22 my beautiful baby boy charlie is 4months old now. i was working in the gym when members started figuring out when i was pregnant most of them were friendly about it and exited but i knew wot some of them were thinkin (too young, accident, wot am i gona do etc) and that was one of the reasons why they didnt find out until i was 6months gone. but now i look back i would of been more confident about it as i wouldnt change him for the world. i dont think it matters how old u are as long as u give all things a child needs.
i think young mums get a lota stick because there are young mums out there who just leave their kids with the grandparents all the time which isnt fair. but we dnt hear about the mums who are doing a good job etc. i do agree with melanie i was at uni when i was pregnant so im having a gap year so i can finish my degree. i think personally for me having a baby has only delayed my future career but has also brought me so much happiness so i will just have to work harder.
does anyone here go to mother and baby groups i want to start going are they any good?
dee

i know how u feel i was 16 when i got pregnant with my daughter whois nearly 1 i use toget old ladies sayin to me that i was only a chld myself but i tryed not to listen its hard i know but at the end of the day its not nothing to do with them i feel out with alot of my friends when i got pregnant as they said i was stupid and i should have an abortion but there was no chance i was gonna have 1 just so they would be my friends i wouldnt change my life for anything i love haveing my own little family when all my friends are going out have one nite stands im at home with my family and it fells great so just try not to listen to the people who are saying nasty things and just remember your a great mum xx

I know how yous all feel also im 21 and have a 3 year old and an 11 week old. What really annoyed me is when i was in hospital having my son (youngest) every dr or midwife seemed to all ask the same question.. "is this your first" and when i replied no they seem to off looked down there noses at me. i ended up getting to the stage were i really didnt care in the end as i know im a great mum to my kids. We also have to think were young enough to run around with them in play centres and parks, and take them on fun days out, plus we will still be young enough to take our kids out clubbing for the first time LOL.

i no exactly how u feel i was goin on 18 and have been wit my oh since i was 14 we have our own house a mortgage and 2 desent jobs but ppl still feel the need to critasise? to be honest i think bein a young mum is great you alot more energy and patience well i no i do my sis was28 and i practactly raised my neice if they start again jus remember u wont be half dead while your giving it socks at there 18th and hen who will be laffing!!!

Well for starters congratulations and if you know your a good mum thats all that matters im sure you do just as good a job as a 30 year old mum would.
Im 17 and i havent even had my baby yet but i get all the dirty looks and people looking down on me at the end of the day why cant young mums be just as capable as older ones.

Keep up the good work I say! Ignore people who cant be positve as they are the ones with the problem and not you. There are lots of young mummies out there http://my.bounty.com/forums/subject/198/10/1/Younger-Mums.htm doing amazing jobs.Surely it is best to be a good mother age is really unimportant if the mother is loving and responsible. It far more healthy for a child in my opinion to have a happy and secure relationship with their parents; there are plenty of older mothers who do not have this! x

Although you have a good point Melanie85 considering your life commitments having a baby is not going to be so easy but I was 21 when I had my daughter and was quite happy to do so (even though she was not planned). For some women they feel what they were put on this Earth to do is be a mum and big careers and things are not on their mind. My children are 18 months apart and are now aged 6 and 4 years. I must say I could not be happier and it has not stopped me from doing things I would like to do I am currently doing a certificate 2 in communtiy services so I can become a councellor. I would like to be in a job where I can help young mum's who go through the same problems I had and even now I look waaaaaaaaaaaay younger than I am I am 27 in September and people still guess me at 21 so you can imagine the reaction when I walk about with a 6 and 4 year old.

I am not saying you aren't right Melanie85 a baby needs a stable environment but I think as long as you can provide a roof over a baby's head and food on the table and plenty of love thats what counts. I bet you will have a rockin' baby and if you get your little one used to the music now maybe he can come on tour it would be so cute for you to have a little groupie. I felt a bit worried I wasn't up to it when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter but she turned out to be such a good baby and I realised that being mummy is the best job ever I am now trying for a third and feel lucky because I will have all my kids before I am 30 and am outside the danger zone for alot of genetic problems. Considering my medical history that is a good thing take my word for it.

Hi i was 20 when i found out i was pregnant with me first and people judged me then i was 21 when i had my first and 6 months on i have just found out i am pregnant with my second baby and still feel like people are judging now i will be 22 when i have this lil 1 and still will feel that people are judging me for my age. I have been with my oh since we was 13 and in school together and have last this long together we both worked full time from leaving school and he still does i go bac to work part time in may for a few months till i leave again for maternity leave again. Nowadays you cant win people judge you if your either too young or are too old. thats just life i just look at them and smile back thats all you should do.

Hi Ladies,

I have been with My Boyfriend 2 years, And I'm 18 Years Old. I didnt realise how much I wanted a Babs Untill I miscarried a few months ago. It was awful. The feeling, knowing your loosing a baby and You cant do anything about it hurts so bad.

I am Currently Trying and I really do not care about my age. I mean I have a full time job, My own house and a Car, No one Can judge me on That one- And If They Do, Ill Tell them where to go.

After Reading Some of your Posts you all seem such a lush Bunch of people, really strong willed and Devoted Mummies! I hope to be joinin you on these boards soon when I finally get tha chance to Have a little one..

Take Care Xxxx

Hey all i was 17 when i got pregnant with my 1st..throughout my pregnancy i was at school well 6th form and i had my so called "friends" telling me what a mistake i made and tht i should have a abortion and tht i didnt know what i was doing..i also had people who didnt even know me calling me a slag when i was with the dad (and still am) i dont see how girls tht sleep with one lad and have a kid are slags nd yet girls tht sleep around nd choose to abort every baby they make arent..anyways i had comments from people i didnt know bout my age..was in a bank once nd someone who worked there was like how u findin it..your still a child yourself! grrri had a comment yesterday wen i was walking through town a girl sed ****g young mums...
anyways..i just choose to ignor them now they should get a life instead of having to dicuss mine!!!
my lad is 2 years old now ) ooh found out sat i preg :) and it due 31st jan 2010!! woop

hiya,

i completly agree.

I was 19 when I had my daughter and although she wasn't planned as soon as we found out i was pregnant, we knew it was right. I am now 22 and am 24 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby (which was planned) I am so fed up with people interfering and stupid comments about young mums doing nothing and are not very good mums.
When I saw the midwife after having my 1st she asked why I wasn't breastfeedin and then went on to say that it's ridiculous that all young mums choose not to breastfeed anymore. I told her the reason I didn't wasn't becasue no one in the hospital showed or helped me with it and then 2 days after having her when they finally did help a MALE CLEANER came into my room so I found it very hard to relax and choose to bottlefed and get the hell out of there!
The thing that really got to me was when I went to the SAME Midwife this time round she tutted and said "I suppose it's not with the same boyfriend"?!!?!?!?! I told her that no it wasn't the same boyfriend but is in fact the same husband (I married my husband when I was 18) and asked her would it make a difference to my maternity care if it wasn't. I was absolutley fuming!! I made a formal complaint against her and am now seeing another midwife who is lovely x

I hate the untrue sterotype of young mums, when I took my daughter to the baby clinics, I was constantly asked why I don't work . I asked them why they think I don;t work and they just look at me. I went back to work full time when my 1st was 6months old so I can provide the best for my daughter, I will be doing the same this time round as well.

I think it's time people get over it and accept that young mums make just as good mums as somebody older!!!

Its the same with anything i think, not just pregnancy, its people thinking they are better than everyone else, and they obviously have nothing better going on in their lives do they?! At the end of the day whos to say someone older can be a better mum than you? Age effects nothing. :) hope you feel better xxx

hey there im 20 and i had my daughter evie louise when i was 19 she was planned. I love everything about been a mum. hope 2 chat more x:\)

Hi
I would just like to say i was 18 when i got pregnant with my 1st child had him 3 weeks after my 19th birthday and everybody was the same with me looked down on me etc made comments even the midwives in hospital frowned upon me n my then boyfriend but 19 yrs later we are still together married have another 2 children,funny thing is we are getting all the crap again as since xmas last yr we have been trying for baby num 4 without any suces as of yet but now its omg your too old to be trying for a baby at 36 wat are you thinking bout etc etc so i dnt think it matters wat age you are there is always somebody that wants to try n spoil things for you
sorry bout the rant ladies just makes me so cross how people feel they can judge others at the end of the day is there any right age to have a baby
good luck to young and all thats wat i say xx

well im 15 so iam quite young and a lot of poeple dont agree with me and my baby but i really dont card because i no im a good mum. U can probley imagine how many dirty looks ive had and how many comments that have bein made some times you feel like shouting i might be 15 but that doesnt mean i dnt care about my baby because ido i dont expect anyone to do anything for me i do it my self with my boyfriend day and night i wish some poeple would realise that a young mum has the same feelings for there baby as a older mum and not all bad mums are young mums older mums can be bad mums too i hope u agree with me. Laura xxx;\)

hiya hun i was 19when i got pregnant with my 1st, hes 14months now and i've just turned 21 and got my 2nd on the way. It dont stop ya no, you'll always be judged by certain people, but most of the people out there (well nearly al my friends etc are alot older than me and they are all great and have never critised me! But i no how you feel bout the doctors etc, i even got it on my 2nd the mv said 'oh dear again?' even my mother said it when i told her i was preg again (28wks now)!

I agree that young mums face alot of critisim, but at the same time i think that some times its down to young mums being so stupid and naive (and all these media reports,programs dont help), and not being prepared for whats coming or what a responsiblity they have! i mean i live in east london, and i've seen girls from 15-21 yr olds walking around with newborns n prams and even i get annoyed because they have no respect for anyone, or anything, dont no how to look after their kids, and see it as a way of not having to work!

sorry if you ladies dont agree, but if some of the young mums out there wern't so rude, disrespectful and having babys just to live off benefits i dont think that stereotype would exist!

i remember i was on the bus one day and a girl my own age had a small baby and let the poo`r thing cry and cry, throwing in the odd 'shut up man'! its people like that who give us genuine young mums the bad rep that we get critised all teh time for ,yea some of us may cliam benefits, but we didnt have our kids for purely that reason! But around here it seems i you have a kid and your young and on benefits then u had the kid to not hav to work!

I do understand what your saying hun, and the best thing to do is rise above it. I got on the bus one day HEAVILY preg wiv my son and there was a middle aged women sitting there who didnt offer her seat to me (and trust me there was NO misstaking i was pregnant) yet 2minutes later a older mum got on preg, and she offered the seat straight up! i was furious!

At the end of the day hun,if you get critised or see soemone looking at you in 'that' way you just gotta remember you love your kid and do your best for him/her what they think dont matter does it? its your mental state that makes you ready or not to have a kid, not your age! saying that i wouldnt be encouraging my 18yr old sis to have a baby!

Sarah x

hey, i'm 22 and 23 wks with my first baby and i'm so sick of people judging me on my age (i only look like a teenager) and not on how good of a mum i can actually be.

i actually walked out of one of my midwife appointments because of the way the midwife was talking to me and insinuating i was too young to be pregnant, even tho i have a lovely partner who couldn't be more excited to be a daddy (he's 34 and sooo excited lol), i'm in a stable relationship, have a full time job and live with my partner she was just actin like i was some stupid child (tutting and sighing when i didnt know the answer to something), grrrrrrrr!

luckily i'm moving soon and hopefully new midwife wont be such an idiot or i may have to hit her! lol

heya

im 20 and 23 weeks pregnant. I've been with my OH for four years and engaged for one year. Our baby was planned (I had been told that i was unable to concieve when I was 16 and had been through lots of problems with cysts etc) and we are both very happy and excited to be having our first child together. Ever since I announced the pregnancy we have had loads of negative comments, including from our own parents and friends!
My midwife (thankfully) is really lovely - she had her own children young at 18 and knows what people are like - she just says to ignore them.
Unfortunately that is easier said than done - Im quite obviously pregnant and I never get offered a seat on public transport etc (in fact i usually get shouted at by older people to give up my seat even though they are not elderly!)
I also get loads of comments from people i don't even know - people at the supermarket always moan loudly about it so that i can hear what they are saying! Its usually middle-aged women who think they have a right to say things.
Me and my OH live together, he has an excellent job, I've just finished a degree at university, we have a perfect relationship and these people just don't look past the stereotypical image of a young mum and are too ignorant to see all of that!

Admittedly i don't think that some young mums help because of the way they are - its not surprising sometimes that these stereotypes exist - plenty get on my bus in the mornings with their kids and pram covered in food and dirt, shouting at them to 'shut it' when they cry or i see them on the street smoking over their pram. Obviously these aren't what all young mums are like but you can unfortunately see why some people would expect that when they look at us!

xxx