Hi, I'm 19 and I have a 13 week old son named Daniel. He is the most perfect little thing and I love being a Mummy. The only problem is that people treat me like I'm not capable because I am 19. At first I thought I was just paranoid, but my partner (who is 10 years older to make things worse lol) and my MIL have also noticed it. It all started when I very first went to the Doc when I found out I was pregnant and they asked if I had thought about a termination!!! Talk about making assumptions. We had been TTC for 6 months. Then whilst I was pregnant the first question almost everyone asked was "was it an accident?". HOW RUDE!!! and then at my 6 week check the doctor tried to make me go on the pill saying "I'm sure you don't want any more accidents". It's so tiring (and embarressing) to have to set all these people straight!!! My own mother even said to me that I should have kept my 'legs crossed'. Finally, whenever I take Daniel to the baby clinic, alot (not all) of the older mums blank me or just give a "yes" or "no" if i try to make conversations. It makes me feel like I have done a bad thing by having a baby (on purpose) and I just think people need to stop stereotyping the whole universe and take people for who they are.

Sorry for the rant but I need to get it off my chest!

Would love to know if anyone else hase the same or similar problem and just want to chat really!

Hannah and Gorgeous Dan x

hi,firstly congratulations on the birth of your gorgeoues son. i am sure you are doing a fab job on bringing up your son. i was 19 when i fell pregnant with my daughter (altho she was a surprise) and im 23 now and married. before i got married everybody including my parents treated me like i didnt have a clue and the only advice is to either say something witty back or ignore them. the more adult thing to do is ignore them,they are only looking for a reaction. i found that walking away and not saying a word to people was the best thing to do but once i was stopped by an old lady and she said "what are you doing with a baby? hope shes not yours!" to which i replied "oh my goodness,how do you expect children to grow up with manners and be poilet when people like you go around talking to people you dont know like that." then i walked off.
anyway unfortunaly its something you may have to get use to. all i get now is "when are you going to have another one" so basically its just people sticking their noses in where they are not wanted.

Lol I had the same 'old lady' problem whilst I was pregnant! Silly stuck up mare started saying how shameful it was because i'm not married... I had to be polite because I was serving her in the bar of the hotel where i work so I politly told her that society has changed and that I have nothing to be ashamed of!
My mum was a bit useless when it came to support.... she kept telling me and my partner that I would get PNDepression and went mad at me when after a week I decided to bottle feed rather than breast. I didn't really appreciate that because the only time i felt depressed was when she was around. so my cool calm shy boyfriend decided to get angry (never known him like that and in 3 years that is the only time i have ever heard him shout!) anyway, it did the trick!
We are getting married on the 18th October and now she is busy worrying about that lol grrrr... mothers!!!!
so... when are you having another one?!?!?
H xxx

hiya
im 19 and have 2 children the 1st ellese wasnt planned i was 15 when i concived n 16 when i had her was goin threw very rebelious stadge but my second was planned felicity she 8weeks now and i have it all the while expecially with 2 im gettin married febuary 2 the best man in the world and when i get looks i just say what is there sumthin on my face lol

dont worry bout what other people think as long as u n ur partner n baby are happy who cares

x x xx

hello ladies! I am 19 with a 20 weeks old baby. I know exactly how you feel! Even though I am settled with my partner who I love, people still give me snide looks all the time! I mean just today, I took my bb to the doctors and she was talking to me as if I knew nothing about my son, then had the cheek to grab him off me and finish taking off his vest which I was already doing! She then starting saying it was because I am a first time mum, but I think I know more about my son than a complete stranger! I HATE IT! They seriously think they know more about my son than me which is completely untrue! One old bag sitting in the bus stop said to me, you shouldn't be giving him a dummy it will damage his teeth, I was like its none of your business!
They look at my age rather than the fact that I can take care of my baby properly and do everything he needs me to do and my baby always comes first. A woman about 50ish said very loudly to me 'how old are you?' so I said '19, why how old are you?' cheeky bugger!
Sorry for the rant but I just get sick of it too hun, don't think it will ever change until people start becoming less ignorant, silly buggers! xx

Well my partner just turned 30 and they had a snipe at him when he took my son for his 8 week jabs because he didn't undo the buttons on the jumper when he took it off! mind you he does look about 21 so... stupid old women!

Hi Hannah88 im 22 now had my first when i was 20 and second when i was 21 (18 month gap) and there is 20 years between me and oh. I've never really had any problems with comments etc and my oh (being 42) could probably pass for being around 30ish so noone really seems to notice the gap. However the one thing that did make us laugh was when i was carrying my first ( i was 19 at the time, almost 20) they changed the date of my antenatal appt scan at the hospital and put me in the teenagers clinic which we both thought was hysterical, think most of the girls there thought id turned up with my father. Fxxx what other people think, you're young, you're happy, you've got a great partner and lovely baby, you should be proud of yourself. Most people who decide to make remarks are probably jealous of you x

P.S lush baby xxx

Thanks, I will tell him you said that!!! Even though I tell him he is gorgeous 20million times a day already! x

Ahhh i think i must've heard nearly every 'young mum' line in the book. I feel sooooo ashamed now. Not. How sad of them to think we can't cope with being parents? Even my mum has now admitted that i've done bloody well for myself and my son is gorgeous etc etcetc.. (he is lol) and she was the biggest prune in the world about me getting pregnant at 17. x

hi a was 16 when a was preg n ad him and a got judged alot as a look alot younger by older ppl and a still get it 2day am now 17 ma son is now 6 months n am preg again.
xxx

hi im 22 an pregnant with my 2nd. an i get ppl juding me. its not right how they just think because we are young we should not have children. as long as they are brought up well, healthy an happy thats all that should matter. i hate when you get looks ov ppl. i had ny 1st at 18 an was 17 when i got pregnant she is the most beautiful an strong minded little girl an she knws more than i do lol. i say keep up the good work all you young mums

omg i love you guys allready!!!! i was 16 and hubby 20 when we got married, we are not 18 and 22, going on 3 years of wonderful marriage no matter what anyone says, we are discussing having a baby its like people have conctantly asked when, when, when and not that we are thinking about it everyone always has something negative to say, either way and it drives me NUTSO! its nice to have others on here to relate to!!! Just because you're young does not make you incapable of caring for your child... Just cause you have a baby doesnt mean ur life is over, it is just beginning a new stage...

Exactly ScrapnChick. Everyone is going to do something in this owrld that someone else is going to disagree with but you've got to just stand up for what you believe in and tell 'em all to shove it up their ****. I couldn't stand getting judged while i was pregnant and even now with my 5 month old son ive had the "oh your baby brother is gorgeous!" line. I ignored it all until i got so f*cked off with it i cussed someone out for making comments about me. She apologised profusely. And bought Harry a present when he was born. HAH.

And i think me being younger has helped me so much being a mummy. Its all ive ever wanted to be, and although i loved my job, its better being mummy! There's always going to be the hard times but hell, everyone has their ups and downs and whos to say that if i were older i'd cope any better?

Age is just a number. Its relevant to Love, Money and your Behavior. If i acted like i was an immature 12 year old, i'd get treated like one. I'm 19 and (i think) mature for my age. I don't see myself as 19 so i don't see why people would treat me like a child.

Life is definately not over. Somethings will be put on hold for a few years but there is absolutely nothing to say you will never do anything you want to anymore.

X

Hi hannah, I'm 20 now but was 19 when I had my lo (he's 9 weeks now). I know what u mean, everyone always asks me "Was it planned?" even if they dont know me very well, or at all! A woman on the bus even asked me it once, a week before my due date. I was so angry- what business was it of hers. OK, he wasn't planned BUT I could have been trying for years for all she knew!

Whalemummy I totaly agree that being young makes it sooo much easier, I don't mind the night feeds cos I've got loads of energy and almost never feel tired, its fab. And I might be skint but I have all the love to give to my lo!

Since I had Gabriel I've never felt better & thats the truth! ALL my family and my OH's family pressured me into an abortion (so did my OH!) but I stuck to my guns and refused point blank. Now they all adore him!
x

hi, new to the site and thought id just tell you that im a young mum too.
I was 18 when i fell pregnant (unplanned but not unwanted) and my partner and i couldn't have been happier. We had been together for 3 yrs and had recently bought a house and had good jobs.
I was constantly given the 'look' by others even the midwife until she came around to my house and saw that I was a successful young woman! I even told her that she shouldn't judge others and she apologised, haha!
Anyway, we lived happily ever after! And now planning a brother or sister for our gorgeous boy.

x

hi, i've just recently turned 20 and have an 8month baby girl called Evie, i fell pregnant at 18, but it wasn't an accident and my OH and i were already engaged. i despied being judged by people, and the looks i got etc really got me down. i specifically remember an elderly couple walking past my OH (who's 23) and i when we were pushing evie in her pushchair and once she though i was out of ear shot she turned to her husband and said really loudly "did you see that young girl with a baby, it's disgusting!" and i went mental! i informed her i was actually married and 19years old and perfectly capeable of raising a child! people at work are very curious and often say "how come youre married and have a child so young" but thank fully nobody is rude about it. strangers however are completely different and very very closed minded and judgemental. it drives me insane. i think it would even be worse if i didnt have a wedding ring on my finger!

im 17 and 24+2wks, anthonys 29 so as you can imagine when hes got a stuble we get some looks, he looks around 21 when hes had a shave tho so its not too bad then. just ignore the looks we do we just laugh at them sometimes... saying at least were happy. katie xx

I dont think it is a case of being 'judged' I think its more heartbreaking for older people to see young girls give up so much of their lives theyve not yet lived so young. When I found out I was pregnant I was excitied but paniced, I am the lead singer of a succesful band, I work full time and am used to travelling whenever I feel like it, I am 24 years old and feel soooo young to be having a baby when theres so much more I have yet to experience and Im missing out on things I enjoy. I think people just wish girls were alot more careful in their teens, as I doubt very much the majority of teenaged girls PLAN their pregnancy, and its just sad they miss out on everything they could have been doing with their lives before they settle down to have families.

hiya im 19 and have a 6month old baby. i know wat u mean about older ppl. i felt i had no control over my pregnancy. i wanted a home birth but my midwife told me i was having my baby in hospital. i felt forced to breastfeed ( although this is wat i wanted nobody would show me hw t do it at the hosp) my midwife was rly nasty after id just given birth. i was given dirty looks off old ppl especially lod women and my auntie ( who i lived with, although very supportive made me feel like i shouldnt have got pregnant. i just felt everyone was taking over because im young. all this led to post natal depression. im ok now but in future wen i have more children i will be in control and i wont be letting anyone else get involved. i know eactly wat ur goin thru. lol xxx

Hiya.

I'm 19 and my lo is 6 months old. I was always getting dirty looks while i was preg. Mostly off older women. At the time me and Oh had broke up so i was looked down upon even more because i was a single mum.

But if you feel you can look after a baby, then noone should you judge how old you should be to be a mum. It's your life not theirs. And we can be as good as just as older mums. (No offence intended).

All keep up the good work and tell them all where to shove it. Lol.

Roxi xxxx