HI
charlie is my 4th child out of 5. His nearest sibling is Joseph who is 17 months older and. My youngest is just 15 weeks (a girl called Amelia). Well, Joseph has always been quite rough with Charlie. We dont condone it but 2 brothers close in age are bound to fight. Since Amelia was born Charlie is now sandwiched as a middle child. We try to give him loads of attention and cuddles but with 5 kids we are busy and cant always just sit there playing and cuddling all day.

Recently when we have been at soft play areas or parks he has pushed over toddlers. The pattern is that they are always smaller than him and younger. I am not sure if this is due to Amelia coming along, Joseph bullying him or a combo of both????

We always intervene and make him say sorry and ofcurse we apologise to the parents. 2 parents were not impressed (even tho their child was not at all hurt) and did not accept our apology. Now, i can see this from both sides and I would be a bit peed of if my child got pushed over but when they are playing in a public space kids will be kids and my own kids have been hit, pushed and hurt by many a child. I am not saying its acceptable but parents should be aware that a 2 year old (thats how old charlie is) does not do it with intent to harm..they just see someone smaller than them and want to test how it feels to be the pusher rather than the pushed!!!

We put Charlie in time out for few minutes (strapped in pushchair if need be) then we talk to him. I tell stories at bedtime about been nice to others etc. I tell Joseph to be king to him and help him learn how to be big BUT he is still pushing!!!!!!!! It is now at a point where I dont want to be in a place where he has the opportunity to push other kids. Its not fair on my 4 year old as he loves running around in parks or adventure areas.

Anyone else had this......any tips/ideas on how to get him to stop!!!!!!!???????

Appreciate any comments..this is my 4th like I said but I never had this problem before.

d xxx

How ridiculous of those ppl not accepting your apology!
Your Charlie sounds like my Charlie (is it a name thing?!) when ds2 came. He was 2yr and 9mth and our 1st so very used to our attention. We went to a soft play area when ds2 was 3week old and he pushed a kid over in the wendy house. I was so cross with him we left in a rush (hormones!). He used to bite too, for quite a while and we put it down to attention seeking. He is still headstrong and seeks attention from negative behaviour, whereas he knows nothing whatsoever comes from strops/shouting etc.
I definitely think your Charlie is seeking attention through any means because of the change in his circumstances (Amelia being born). What we do at home is when Charlie's acting up, praise his brother for good behaviour, stating exactly what you like...this works both ways!
I'm not sure how to stop his pushing...is he just 2 y/o? Would he understand a warning when you do go to play areas? Or a bribe..ie if you are a good boy i'll let you (and Joseph) .......and whatever you see fit. Or use a chart to fill for good actions? So many stars lead to a treat?
hard work these Charlies! Hope you work it out! x

ha ha..think your right. Charlies are little monkeys. I wanted to call him Charles but OH registered him as Charlie. Now he is labelled for life. TBH would not have him any other way.

He has few hearing problems and had a 2nd hearing test yest. Shows his eardrums are pushed in with pressure as you would expect if you had just flown long haul. They are going to re test after anti boitics and nasal spray. He as so good as tests took ages and then he had to sit still for xray too.
I have tried star charts. worked a treat with my other kids but Charlie gets angry when I only give him one sticker..he wants the lot!!!!!!!!! Bribe does work.
We have only been going to places as a couple so that one can take Charlie away without disturbing Josephs play. we are going to said park today so will see what happens.

I know a lot of it is normal behaviour and these parents are always parents of one child only. I know its not nice to have your child pushed or hit etc.. but it happens and only children just dont get exposed to it at home so its a big shock.

Thanks for reply and am going to talk before we go today and try star chart again. Also will carry some choc buttons (tho I may eat them before I get chance to bribe him with them..lol)
d x

Hope you had a better day today, they do grow out of it (and into something else if anything like my Charlie!) but i know your concerns. My hubby's well into positive language too (he's a teacher in a behavioural difficulties school) and instead if saying 'if you're a good boy', say 'when you're a good boy' instead as this implies they will do it, rather than having the conditional doubt there. He may be too young for that but we (him more than me!) use it for the boys. Derren Brown or what?!
x

Ohhh...your hubby should come on line and hold a forum... lots of mums would be asking tonnes of questions!

Bet its a rewarding but hard job!

He not done it again so far! Touch wood. Will be there again on Sunday so will see. Funny thing is one of the kids pushed him over that he pushed over the other week. When I looked at the mum and just half smiled she looked away. Probably thought...oh great he has learnt that of charlie!!!! whoops!!!!!!

d x

Hiya Deedee how r u hun? Now you know what i am going to say,your charlie is acting how 2 yr old all act so stop worrying if other parents want to be silly about it thats their problem.
My Alex is starting to calm down finally and some of the anti social behaviour has gone thank god he will be 3 this month and i now have rather a lot of grey hair thanks to his antics lol
I too have noticed he responds well when he has been told that he has been playing nicely and sharing so hopefully when he starts nursery i wont have to worry so much.
love Leigh xxx